What do you think of these lyrics I wrote? ?!
Question: What do you think of these lyrics I wrote!? !?
How are we blood!?
You’re nothing like me
And you don’t like me
Like you should
I’ve heard stories
I’m not blind
I know how things should be
I know how they should be
You think I don’t mind
You don’t accept me
You won’t accept me
For who I am
Am I that different!?
That you don’t care no more
Cuts like an open sore
Yeah, I’m not perfect,
But hey, who is!?
I know that you are not
I’ve thought about that a lot
And all I’m trying to say
Is that I’m through with you
I’ve done all the work,
But where’s the pay!?
And like the setting sun
I’m done
You don’t accept me
You won’t accept me
For who I am
Am I that different!?
That you don’t care no more
Cuts like an open sore
OR ARE THESE BETTER:
I like you just the way you are
You rock those converse and you play that guitar
I’m proud of you for being yourself
You never messed around with trying to be somebody else
You never did anything to make yourself look better
You come to school in baggy jeans and a sweater
You never tried to be someone your not
You never cared if you were ugly or hot
these arent finished but what idea do you like better
Www@Enter-QA@Com
You’re nothing like me
And you don’t like me
Like you should
I’ve heard stories
I’m not blind
I know how things should be
I know how they should be
You think I don’t mind
You don’t accept me
You won’t accept me
For who I am
Am I that different!?
That you don’t care no more
Cuts like an open sore
Yeah, I’m not perfect,
But hey, who is!?
I know that you are not
I’ve thought about that a lot
And all I’m trying to say
Is that I’m through with you
I’ve done all the work,
But where’s the pay!?
And like the setting sun
I’m done
You don’t accept me
You won’t accept me
For who I am
Am I that different!?
That you don’t care no more
Cuts like an open sore
OR ARE THESE BETTER:
I like you just the way you are
You rock those converse and you play that guitar
I’m proud of you for being yourself
You never messed around with trying to be somebody else
You never did anything to make yourself look better
You come to school in baggy jeans and a sweater
You never tried to be someone your not
You never cared if you were ugly or hot
these arent finished but what idea do you like better
Www@Enter-QA@Com
Answers:
Honestly!.!.!.
they kinda suck!.
But the bottom one is betterWww@Enter-QA@Com
they kinda suck!.
But the bottom one is betterWww@Enter-QA@Com
i think you need to work on it a bit!. an important part to songwriting is editing!. i like the comparison of you leaving to the sun setting!.!.!. i feel that similes and other comparisons are very important to make you music sound more deep!. the second one is alright!.!.!. it seems very avril lavigne to me!. you should try different rhyme schemes, because these dont work very well!. like on the second one you should change it from aabb to abab!. Www@Enter-QA@Com
personally i think they are good (second lyrics) i cant get farther than:
These are the days that pull me under
these are the days that draw me in,
these are the months they're lastin longer
these are the years that i held inWww@Enter-QA@Com
These are the days that pull me under
these are the days that draw me in,
these are the months they're lastin longer
these are the years that i held inWww@Enter-QA@Com
honestly !? utter crap
but that's only with reading them and not putting them to a melody!.
If it ends up being some rock/pop/indie/rap song then it will be ****Www@Enter-QA@Com
but that's only with reading them and not putting them to a melody!.
If it ends up being some rock/pop/indie/rap song then it will be ****Www@Enter-QA@Com
The 2nd lyric is better!. The 1st one is filled with cliches, which seem to be stolen from Simple Plan or some other pop punk excuse for a band!.Www@Enter-QA@Com
the lyrics are very good, but the melody matters more!. Www@Enter-QA@Com
I don't think you made them lyrics up at allWww@Enter-QA@Com