Redneck Joke, so whats new?!

Redneck Joke, so whats new?

Two red-necks named Cletus and Bubba were driving down a long country road drinkin beer, when up ahead they suddenly spotted a police car.

Cletus turns to bubba and says, "Stick this beer label on to your forehead and do exactly as I say."

The police officer gets out of his car and approaches their carand says, "Have you gentlemen been drinkin?"

Cletus and Bubba point to their foreheads. "No sir, we're on the patch!"

ha a patchy confession

Sister Mary Katherine lived in a convent, a block away from Jack's liquor store. One day, in walked Sister Mary Katherine and she said, "Oh Jack, give me a pint o' the brandy."
"Sister Mary Katherine, " exclaimed Jack, "I could never do that! I've never sold alcohol to a nun in my life!"

"Oh Jack, " she responded, "it's only for the Mother Superior." Her voice dropped. "It helps her constipation, you know."

So, Jack sold her the brandy. Later that night Jack closed the store and walked home. As he passed the convent, who should he see but Sister Mary Katherine; and she was snookered. She was singing and dancing, whirling around and flapping her arms like a bird, right there on the sidewalk. A crowd was gathering, so Jack pushed through and exclaimed, "Sister Mary Katherine! For shame! You told me this was for the Mother Superior's constipation!"

Sister Mary Katherine didn't miss a beat as she replied: "And so it is, me lad, so it is. When she sees me, she's going to $hit!"