Would someone like to volunteer to slap a smile on my face?!
Question: Would someone like to volunteer to slap a smile on my face!?
I find myself in simply a bad mood this morning, one of those days that nothing is terribly wrong, but nothing seems to be right either!.!.!.!.the days you would be better off just staying in bed!. Within 30 minutes of being awake all patience was lost this morning, but as a good employee I am here at work now but still just generally find myself in a foul mood and wanting this to pass as soon as possible!.
So what do you have to say that can either cheer me up or make me laugh!? What do you do to get in a better mood on days like this!?Www@Enter-QA@Com
So what do you have to say that can either cheer me up or make me laugh!? What do you do to get in a better mood on days like this!?Www@Enter-QA@Com
Answers:
I have a joke for you, hopefully it will make you smile!. It's sort of a mathematical question:
You are driving a car at a constant speed!.
On your left side is a valley and on your right side is a fire engine traveling at the same speed as you!.
In front of you is a galloping pig which is the same size as your car and you cannot overtake it!.
Behind you is a helicopter flying at ground level!.
Both the giant pig and the helicopter are also traveling at the same speed as you!.
What must you do to safely get out of this highly dangerous situation!?
Get off the children's merry-go-round; you're drunk again!.
Hope it helps! Have a better day!!!
Www@Enter-QA@Com
You are driving a car at a constant speed!.
On your left side is a valley and on your right side is a fire engine traveling at the same speed as you!.
In front of you is a galloping pig which is the same size as your car and you cannot overtake it!.
Behind you is a helicopter flying at ground level!.
Both the giant pig and the helicopter are also traveling at the same speed as you!.
What must you do to safely get out of this highly dangerous situation!?
Get off the children's merry-go-round; you're drunk again!.
Hope it helps! Have a better day!!!
Www@Enter-QA@Com
Here's a lovely funny, just for you:
A study conducted by UCLA's Department of Psychiatry has revealed that the kind of face a woman finds attractive on a man can differ depending on where she is in her menstrual cycle!.
For example: If she is ovulating, she is attracted to men with rugged and masculine features!. However, if she is mensturating or menopausal, she tends to be more attracted to a man with duct tape over his mouth and a spear lodged in his chest while he is on fire!.
No further studies are expected!.!.!.
Lol!.!.worked for me!.!.Www@Enter-QA@Com
A study conducted by UCLA's Department of Psychiatry has revealed that the kind of face a woman finds attractive on a man can differ depending on where she is in her menstrual cycle!.
For example: If she is ovulating, she is attracted to men with rugged and masculine features!. However, if she is mensturating or menopausal, she tends to be more attracted to a man with duct tape over his mouth and a spear lodged in his chest while he is on fire!.
No further studies are expected!.!.!.
Lol!.!.worked for me!.!.Www@Enter-QA@Com
40 THINGS YOU'D LOVE TO SAY OUT LOUD AT WORK
1!. I can see your point, but I still think you're full of sh!t
2!. I don't know what your problem is, but I'll bet it's hard to pronounce!.
3!. How about never!? Is never good for you!?
4!. I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public!.
5!. I'm really easy to get along with once you people learn to see it my way!.
6!. I'll try being nicer if you'll try being smarter!.
7!. I'm out of my mind, but feel free to leave a message!.
8!. I don't work here!. I'm a consultant!.
9!. It sounds like English, but I can't understand a darn word you're saying!.
10!. Ah!.!.!.I see the scr!w-up fairy has visited us again!.
11!. I like you!. You remind me of myself when I was young and stupid!.
12!. You are validating my inherent mistrust of strangers!.
13!. I have plenty of talent and vision; I just don't give a darn!.
14!. I'm already visualizing the duct tape over your mouth!.
15!. I will always cherish the initial misconceptions I had about you!.
16!. Thank you!. We're all refreshed and challenged by your unique point of view!.
17!. The fact that no one understands you does NOT mean you're an artist!.
18!. Any connection between your reality and mine is purely coincidental!.
19!. What am I!? Flypaper for freaks!!?
20!. I'm not being rude!. You're just insignificant!.
21!. It's a thankless job, but I've got a lot of Karma to burn off!.
22!. Yes, I am an agent of Satan, but my duties are largely ceremonial!.
23!. And your crybaby whiny-assed opinion would be!.!.!.!?
24!. Do I look like a people person!?
25!. This isn't an office!. It's Hell with fluorescent lighting!.
26!. I started out with nothing & still have most of it left!.
27!. Sarcasm is just one more service we offer!.
28!. If I throw a stick, will you leave!?
29!. Errors have been made!. Others will be blamed!.
30!. Whatever kind of look you were going for, you missed!.
31!. I'm trying to imagine you with a personality!.
32!. A cubicle is just a padded cell without a door!.
33!. Can I trade this job for what's behind door #1!?
34!. Too many freaks, not enough circuses!.
35!. Nice perfume!. Must you marinate in it!?
36!. Chaos, panic, & disorder-my work here is done!.
37!. How do I set a laser printer to stun!?
38!. I thought I wanted a career; turns out I just wanted a salary!.
39!. Who lit the fuse on your tampon!?
40!. Oh I get it!.!.!. like humour!.!.!. but differentWww@Enter-QA@Com
1!. I can see your point, but I still think you're full of sh!t
2!. I don't know what your problem is, but I'll bet it's hard to pronounce!.
3!. How about never!? Is never good for you!?
4!. I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public!.
5!. I'm really easy to get along with once you people learn to see it my way!.
6!. I'll try being nicer if you'll try being smarter!.
7!. I'm out of my mind, but feel free to leave a message!.
8!. I don't work here!. I'm a consultant!.
9!. It sounds like English, but I can't understand a darn word you're saying!.
10!. Ah!.!.!.I see the scr!w-up fairy has visited us again!.
11!. I like you!. You remind me of myself when I was young and stupid!.
12!. You are validating my inherent mistrust of strangers!.
13!. I have plenty of talent and vision; I just don't give a darn!.
14!. I'm already visualizing the duct tape over your mouth!.
15!. I will always cherish the initial misconceptions I had about you!.
16!. Thank you!. We're all refreshed and challenged by your unique point of view!.
17!. The fact that no one understands you does NOT mean you're an artist!.
18!. Any connection between your reality and mine is purely coincidental!.
19!. What am I!? Flypaper for freaks!!?
20!. I'm not being rude!. You're just insignificant!.
21!. It's a thankless job, but I've got a lot of Karma to burn off!.
22!. Yes, I am an agent of Satan, but my duties are largely ceremonial!.
23!. And your crybaby whiny-assed opinion would be!.!.!.!?
24!. Do I look like a people person!?
25!. This isn't an office!. It's Hell with fluorescent lighting!.
26!. I started out with nothing & still have most of it left!.
27!. Sarcasm is just one more service we offer!.
28!. If I throw a stick, will you leave!?
29!. Errors have been made!. Others will be blamed!.
30!. Whatever kind of look you were going for, you missed!.
31!. I'm trying to imagine you with a personality!.
32!. A cubicle is just a padded cell without a door!.
33!. Can I trade this job for what's behind door #1!?
34!. Too many freaks, not enough circuses!.
35!. Nice perfume!. Must you marinate in it!?
36!. Chaos, panic, & disorder-my work here is done!.
37!. How do I set a laser printer to stun!?
38!. I thought I wanted a career; turns out I just wanted a salary!.
39!. Who lit the fuse on your tampon!?
40!. Oh I get it!.!.!. like humour!.!.!. but differentWww@Enter-QA@Com
:) !.!.!.slap!.!.!.!.:)
hows that!?!.!.!.lol
sounds like you are having the day from h*** but take heart the day will soon be over!.!.!.perhaps not soon enough!.!.!.lol!.!.!.but it will pass just like bad gass soon enough forgotten!!.!.!.lol Pull a stupid little prank on your nearest coworker that is always good for a laugh
me I just try to stay away from people when in a bad mood cause they will just make it worse and count the minutes till the day is overWww@Enter-QA@Com
hows that!?!.!.!.lol
sounds like you are having the day from h*** but take heart the day will soon be over!.!.!.perhaps not soon enough!.!.!.lol!.!.!.but it will pass just like bad gass soon enough forgotten!!.!.!.lol Pull a stupid little prank on your nearest coworker that is always good for a laugh
me I just try to stay away from people when in a bad mood cause they will just make it worse and count the minutes till the day is overWww@Enter-QA@Com
I'm sorry to hear that your day sucks!
Well if makes you feel any better I'll tell you a little secret !.!.!. I ran out of lotion this morning and instead I moisturized myself with one of many bottles of KY Jelly!.!.!.shhhhh!.!.!.don't tell anyone! All the guys at my job kept telling me I have a different "glow" this morning!Www@Enter-QA@Com
Well if makes you feel any better I'll tell you a little secret !.!.!. I ran out of lotion this morning and instead I moisturized myself with one of many bottles of KY Jelly!.!.!.shhhhh!.!.!.don't tell anyone! All the guys at my job kept telling me I have a different "glow" this morning!Www@Enter-QA@Com
A bad mood for no reason!? Is that even possible!?
I'd say that you have underlying issues that need investigating!.
I pity your husband or boyfriend, unexplained bad moods must be a nightmare to be around!.
Good luck with that!.Www@Enter-QA@Com
I'd say that you have underlying issues that need investigating!.
I pity your husband or boyfriend, unexplained bad moods must be a nightmare to be around!.
Good luck with that!.Www@Enter-QA@Com
Go get your fav drink from Starbucks or from the vending machine or wherever and sip on that while listening to some music!. It will calm you down and help you clear your head!. If you want to laugh, watch funny videos!.Www@Enter-QA@Com
Be glad you don't have a huge stupid zit on your forehead like me, if you did for a little while, and then it went away, you'd be very happy!. Www@Enter-QA@Com
This works everytime!. While walking in front of some co-workers, suddenly stop and turn around saying clearly: "crop dust"!. Then walk away quickly!.
Www@Enter-QA@Com
Www@Enter-QA@Com
" after all tomorrow is another day "Www@Enter-QA@Com
hahahahahhaahah (SMACK!)Www@Enter-QA@Com
i like hugging my friends to lighten them up:]
smile!. hug!. smile!. smile!. smile!. smile!.Www@Enter-QA@Com
smile!. hug!. smile!. smile!. smile!. smile!.Www@Enter-QA@Com
Trip the next person to walk by your desk!.
Thats what me and Cate do when we are in a bad mood at work!. The next thing you know!.!.!.!.!.!.we're laughing like hell!.Www@Enter-QA@Com
Thats what me and Cate do when we are in a bad mood at work!. The next thing you know!.!.!.!.!.!.we're laughing like hell!.Www@Enter-QA@Com
Punch Jasonp39!.!.!. !?Www@Enter-QA@Com
Punch a kitty!?Www@Enter-QA@Com
what exactly can I use to slap you with!?!?!?!?Www@Enter-QA@Com
come on, don't get upset, life is not so bad for you!.!. after all!.!.!. look at the poor Mccain fans!.!.Www@Enter-QA@Com
would you like some breakfast!? maybe that will put you in a better mood!. I'm making eggs, sausage, and french toast!. Www@Enter-QA@Com
See if this joke cheers you up a little :)
A guy goes to the Post Office to apply for a job!.
>>
>> The interviewer asks him, "Are you allergic to anything!?"
>>
>> He says, "Yes - just caffeine!."
>>
>> "Have you ever been in the service!?"
>>
>> "Yes," he says!. "I was in Iraq for two years!."
>>
>> The interviewer says, "That will give you 5 extra points toward
>> employment!." He then asks, "Are you disabled in any way!?"
>>
>> The guy says, "Yes 100%!.!.!.an IED exploded near me and blew my
>> testicles off!."
>>
>> The interviewer tells the guy, "O!.K!. In that case, I can hire you
>> right now!. Normal hours are from 8 AM to 4 PM!. You can start
>> tomorrow at 10:00 - and plan on starting at 10 AM every day!."
>>
>> The guy is puzzled and says, "If the hours are from 8 AM to 4 PM,
>> why don't you want me to be here before 10 AM!?"
>>
>> "This is a government job," the interviewer says!. "For the first two
>> hours we just stand around drinking coffee and scratching our balls!.
>> No point in you coming in for that!."Www@Enter-QA@Com
A guy goes to the Post Office to apply for a job!.
>>
>> The interviewer asks him, "Are you allergic to anything!?"
>>
>> He says, "Yes - just caffeine!."
>>
>> "Have you ever been in the service!?"
>>
>> "Yes," he says!. "I was in Iraq for two years!."
>>
>> The interviewer says, "That will give you 5 extra points toward
>> employment!." He then asks, "Are you disabled in any way!?"
>>
>> The guy says, "Yes 100%!.!.!.an IED exploded near me and blew my
>> testicles off!."
>>
>> The interviewer tells the guy, "O!.K!. In that case, I can hire you
>> right now!. Normal hours are from 8 AM to 4 PM!. You can start
>> tomorrow at 10:00 - and plan on starting at 10 AM every day!."
>>
>> The guy is puzzled and says, "If the hours are from 8 AM to 4 PM,
>> why don't you want me to be here before 10 AM!?"
>>
>> "This is a government job," the interviewer says!. "For the first two
>> hours we just stand around drinking coffee and scratching our balls!.
>> No point in you coming in for that!."Www@Enter-QA@Com