What is the worst thing to say to the Police Officer that just pulled you over?!
Question: What is the worst thing to say to the Police Officer that just pulled you over!?
Answers:
Could you hold my beerWww@Enter-QA@Com
Goo!.!.!.(hic) Good even (hic) evening, Occifer, Cou!.!.!.!.cou!.!.(hic) cudja hole my B!.!.!.!. B!.!.!.B (hic) Beer fro me!?
Check this !
The Speeding Ticket
Scene begins with man and woman in front seat of a car as they are just stopped by a cop!. The man is driving and he is speaking to his wife before the cop gets to the car:
HIM: Now, Honey I need you to keep quiet and just let me do the talking!. DON”T SAY ANYTHING, OK!? (Starts to quickly fasten his seatbelt, but is unable to)
HER: OK!. But you know I told you to slow down… just before you got stopped!. Now didn’t I!?…Didn’t I tell you that you were going too fast!? Huh!? Huh!?, Didn’t I!?
HIM: Sshhh! Be quiet here he comes!.
COP: You were going a little fast, weren’t you, sir!?
HIM: Why, no, officer, I don’t think I was speeding!. I even had my cruise control on!.
COP: Well, sir, I clocked you at 60 miles per hour… This is a 45 Miles per hour zone!.
HER: See, John, I told you… I told you to slow down!. I told you you were going to get caught!. Officer I told him to slow down…!.
HIM: Gladys, please be quiet!. Let me handle this!. Officer, my cruise was set for a 45 MPH zone!. I KNOW it was!.
HER: Now John, you know that the cruise has been broken for 6 months… It tore up on our way back from my mother’s place!. Officer, I’ve been trying to get him to fix the cruise, but he just won’t listen!.
COP: May I see your license, sir!?
HIM: Oh, sure! (starts looking for his license) Oops! I’m sorry officer I seem to have left them at home!. I don’t have them with me!.
HER: Oh John! You know that your license went dead two months ago on your birthday!.! I’ve been telling you to,,, Officer He knows I’ve been telling him to renew his license, (Punch John) Haven’t I, John!? Tell him … tell him I’ve been trying to get you to go…
HIM: Gladys, please… please quit talking!. Honestly, Officer I really meant to renew them… I’ve just been so busy lately!.
COP: I notice your seatbelt is not fastened!. You KNOW you’re supposed to keep it fastened when driving, don’t you!?
HIM: Yes, sir I do!. And I assure you, sir, I just now unfastened it when you stopped me… Isn’t that right, Gladys!?
HER: No, John, that’s NOT right, John!. You know you NEVER fasten that seatbelt!. You couldn’t fasten it just now because the buckle is caught between the seats!. You’re just going to kill yourself, one of these day, John!. Officer, I try to tell him, but he just won’t listen!. See, John, I told you that you were going to get in trouble, someday, but would you listen!? Nooooo! You never listen… He never listens!.
COP: Now let’s see… speeding, no operator’s license, no seatbelt…
HER: I hope you’ve learned your lesson, John!. If you’d a listened to me, We could have left that party 2 hours ago and you wouldn’t have had all that beer and wine to drink, and wouldn’t have run off the road back there, and wouldn’t have been speeding, and got caught!.
COP: Beer and wine!? Sir, will you please step out of the car!?
WIVES… Don’t you just LOVE them!?
Www@Enter-QA@Com
Check this !
The Speeding Ticket
Scene begins with man and woman in front seat of a car as they are just stopped by a cop!. The man is driving and he is speaking to his wife before the cop gets to the car:
HIM: Now, Honey I need you to keep quiet and just let me do the talking!. DON”T SAY ANYTHING, OK!? (Starts to quickly fasten his seatbelt, but is unable to)
HER: OK!. But you know I told you to slow down… just before you got stopped!. Now didn’t I!?…Didn’t I tell you that you were going too fast!? Huh!? Huh!?, Didn’t I!?
HIM: Sshhh! Be quiet here he comes!.
COP: You were going a little fast, weren’t you, sir!?
HIM: Why, no, officer, I don’t think I was speeding!. I even had my cruise control on!.
COP: Well, sir, I clocked you at 60 miles per hour… This is a 45 Miles per hour zone!.
HER: See, John, I told you… I told you to slow down!. I told you you were going to get caught!. Officer I told him to slow down…!.
HIM: Gladys, please be quiet!. Let me handle this!. Officer, my cruise was set for a 45 MPH zone!. I KNOW it was!.
HER: Now John, you know that the cruise has been broken for 6 months… It tore up on our way back from my mother’s place!. Officer, I’ve been trying to get him to fix the cruise, but he just won’t listen!.
COP: May I see your license, sir!?
HIM: Oh, sure! (starts looking for his license) Oops! I’m sorry officer I seem to have left them at home!. I don’t have them with me!.
HER: Oh John! You know that your license went dead two months ago on your birthday!.! I’ve been telling you to,,, Officer He knows I’ve been telling him to renew his license, (Punch John) Haven’t I, John!? Tell him … tell him I’ve been trying to get you to go…
HIM: Gladys, please… please quit talking!. Honestly, Officer I really meant to renew them… I’ve just been so busy lately!.
COP: I notice your seatbelt is not fastened!. You KNOW you’re supposed to keep it fastened when driving, don’t you!?
HIM: Yes, sir I do!. And I assure you, sir, I just now unfastened it when you stopped me… Isn’t that right, Gladys!?
HER: No, John, that’s NOT right, John!. You know you NEVER fasten that seatbelt!. You couldn’t fasten it just now because the buckle is caught between the seats!. You’re just going to kill yourself, one of these day, John!. Officer, I try to tell him, but he just won’t listen!. See, John, I told you that you were going to get in trouble, someday, but would you listen!? Nooooo! You never listen… He never listens!.
COP: Now let’s see… speeding, no operator’s license, no seatbelt…
HER: I hope you’ve learned your lesson, John!. If you’d a listened to me, We could have left that party 2 hours ago and you wouldn’t have had all that beer and wine to drink, and wouldn’t have run off the road back there, and wouldn’t have been speeding, and got caught!.
COP: Beer and wine!? Sir, will you please step out of the car!?
WIVES… Don’t you just LOVE them!?
Www@Enter-QA@Com
erm, how about!.!.!.
"is it true you traffic cops go around in pairs to make sure one of you knows how to read and the other knows how to write!?"
or!.!.!.
"Hey Ossifer, how many traffic cop jokes are there!? Just two, all the rest are true!"
Www@Enter-QA@Com
"is it true you traffic cops go around in pairs to make sure one of you knows how to read and the other knows how to write!?"
or!.!.!.
"Hey Ossifer, how many traffic cop jokes are there!? Just two, all the rest are true!"
Www@Enter-QA@Com
"aren"t you the guy from the village people!?,!.
bad cop! no doughnut !
hey, you must have been doing about 125mph to keep up with me! good job!
i pay your salary !
hey is that a 9mm!?, that"s nothing compared to my !.44 magnum!.
Www@Enter-QA@Com
bad cop! no doughnut !
hey, you must have been doing about 125mph to keep up with me! good job!
i pay your salary !
hey is that a 9mm!?, that"s nothing compared to my !.44 magnum!.
Www@Enter-QA@Com
Here, you can have one of my donuts, can you let me go now!?
Well, just cuff me and let's have some fun!Www@Enter-QA@Com
Well, just cuff me and let's have some fun!Www@Enter-QA@Com
"I thought you had to be in relatively good shape to be a police officer!."Www@Enter-QA@Com
"I'll polish your nightstick if you let me out of this ticket!."
Or is that the best thing I could say, hmmmm!?
Now, come, er, I mean go to bed, Steve :)Www@Enter-QA@Com
Or is that the best thing I could say, hmmmm!?
Now, come, er, I mean go to bed, Steve :)Www@Enter-QA@Com
Yo, pig, don't look in the trunk beneath the spare tire, please!.Www@Enter-QA@Com
i have a dozen donuts with your name on them just turn around and forget ya pulled me overWww@Enter-QA@Com
70 you say!? Well your little gun must be broke or something!. Cause i know i was going dang near 90!.Www@Enter-QA@Com
ok one time he asked why i was going so fast and i told him that i wasn't paying attention!.!.!. ugh that was stupid!!! Www@Enter-QA@Com
"Wanna have sex!?"Www@Enter-QA@Com
Shorry, ossifer, I'm not so think as you drunk I am!Www@Enter-QA@Com
You smell like baconWww@Enter-QA@Com
The other officer let me go with a slap and a tickle!. :)Www@Enter-QA@Com
"This isn't about the body in the trunk, is it !?"Www@Enter-QA@Com
can I hold your night-stickWww@Enter-QA@Com
Hey pig!. Why don't you go shakedown a 7-11 for a day old wiener!?Www@Enter-QA@Com
Want a hit off of this!?Www@Enter-QA@Com
Do I need glasses or am I drunk!?Www@Enter-QA@Com
"You don't happen to smell weed do you"!? I wouldn't say that lol!.Www@Enter-QA@Com
your wife is pregnantWww@Enter-QA@Com
the crack dealer stole my money!. Www@Enter-QA@Com
What seems to be the ocifer, problem!?Www@Enter-QA@Com
would you like a swig of my jack daniels!?Www@Enter-QA@Com
"If you let me go, I'll buy you a doughnut!." Www@Enter-QA@Com
ur place or mine!.!.Www@Enter-QA@Com
why the f*** did you pull me over!?Www@Enter-QA@Com
i have some drugs up my cooter!.!.!.!.!.!.!.wait that might be a good thingWww@Enter-QA@Com