I can't sleep... Tell me a bed time story?!
Question: I can't sleep!.!.!. Tell me a bed time story!?
please!.!.!. I really need to sleep!.!.!.Www@Enter-QA@Com
Answers:
one day there lived a girl by the name Taylor
she couldnt sleep so she called her fearless knight sir Jay
to hep her sleep
he came and started talking about his day 5 secs after she was passed asleep
lol
the end
sorry I'm bad at thisWww@Enter-QA@Com
she couldnt sleep so she called her fearless knight sir Jay
to hep her sleep
he came and started talking about his day 5 secs after she was passed asleep
lol
the end
sorry I'm bad at thisWww@Enter-QA@Com
WRITE THIS DOWN AND READ IT OVER AND OVER AGAIN !.
ONCE UPON A TIME THERE WAS A KING , WHO COULD NOT SLEEP ; SO HE SUMMON HIS CHIEF MINISTER , AND ORDERED HIM TO NARRET A STORY !. IF HE STOPPED , HE WOULD LOOSE HIS HEAD !. THE POOR MINESTER THOUGHT FOR A MOMENT AND BEGAN :
" IT WAS A BEAUTIFUL SPRING MORNING , THE FLOWERS WERE IN BLOOM AND THE BIRDS WERE SINGING AS THE WHITE CLOUDS DANCED ACCROSS THE SKY , WEAVING THEMSELVES IN AND OUT OF RAINBOWS !. THE SUN SMILED DOWN IN ALL IT'S PINKISH ORANGE GLORY AND THE BREEZE BLEW COOL, CRISP AND FRESH !.
A BEAUTIFUL YOUNG GIRL ENTERED THE GARDEN WITH A PURE GOLDEN TRAY ENCRUSTED WITH DIAMONDS , RUBIES , EMERALS AND PEARLS !. THE TRAY HAD A MAGENTA SILK CLOTH IN THE CENTER WHICH HAD A HANDFUL OF BASMATI RICE IN IT'S CENTER !.
THE GIRL TOOK A SMALL AMOUNT OF RICE AND SPRINKLED IT ON THE GROUND , AS SOON AS SHE DID THAT , A WHITE DOVE FLEW IN , ATE THE GRAINS , DRANK FROM THE ROYAL FOUNTAIN AND FLEW AWAY !. THEN FLEW IN A GRAY DOVE , THE GIRL SPRINKLED MORE RICE , THE DOVE ATE THE GRAINS , DRANK FROM THE FOUNTAIN AND FLEW AWAY !. THE GIRL SPRINKLED SOME MORE RICE , A BROWN DOVE FLEW IN AND AFTER EATING THE GRAINS , DRANK FROM THE FOUNTAIN AND FLEW AWAY !. THE GIRL SPRINKLED SOME MORE RICE !. THIS TIME A PINK DOVE FLEW IN AND WENT KOO KOO KOO LIKE THE OTHERS , ATE THE GRAINS , DRANK FROM THE FOUNTAIN AND FLEW AWAY !. THE GIRL SPRINKLED SOME MORE RICE !. A BLUE DAVE FLEW IN COOING , STARTED TO NIBBLE AT THE RICE !. AFTER IT HAD IT'S FILL , IT FLEW TO THE FOUNTAIN AND DRANK SOME WATER , BEFORE FLYING AWAY , THE GIRL SPRINKLED SOME MORE RICE GRAINS AS SHE SAW A YELLOW DOVE LAND BY HER !. IT COOED THREE TIMES , ATE THE GRAINS , COOED SOME MORE , FLEW TO THE FOUNTAIN DRANK FROM IT AND FLEW AYAY !. THE GIRL WAS VERY HAPPY SO AS SHE SPRINKLED MORE RICE AS SHE BEGAN TO SING A BEAUTIFUL SONG !. JUST THAN A GREEN DOVE DIVED DOWN , WENT COO ,COO , COO AND BEGAN TO ENJOY THE GRAINS OF RICE !. IT THEN FLEY TO THE FOUNTAIN , DRANK IT'S SWEET COOL WATER AND FLEW AWAY !. JUST AS THE GIRL WHO WAS NOW DANCING , SPRINKLED MORE RICE ON THE GROUND , A MAUVE DOVE FLEW AND!.!."
JUST THEN THE KING ASKED THE MINISTER HOW LONG IS THIS GOING TO GO ON ; THE MINISTER REPLIED " AS LONG AS YOUR HIGHNESS DOES NOT GO TO SLEEP " THE KING LAUGHED , GAVE THE MINISTER A HAND FULL OF GOLD COINS AND TOLD HIM TO RETIRE FOR THE NIGHT !.Www@Enter-QA@Com
ONCE UPON A TIME THERE WAS A KING , WHO COULD NOT SLEEP ; SO HE SUMMON HIS CHIEF MINISTER , AND ORDERED HIM TO NARRET A STORY !. IF HE STOPPED , HE WOULD LOOSE HIS HEAD !. THE POOR MINESTER THOUGHT FOR A MOMENT AND BEGAN :
" IT WAS A BEAUTIFUL SPRING MORNING , THE FLOWERS WERE IN BLOOM AND THE BIRDS WERE SINGING AS THE WHITE CLOUDS DANCED ACCROSS THE SKY , WEAVING THEMSELVES IN AND OUT OF RAINBOWS !. THE SUN SMILED DOWN IN ALL IT'S PINKISH ORANGE GLORY AND THE BREEZE BLEW COOL, CRISP AND FRESH !.
A BEAUTIFUL YOUNG GIRL ENTERED THE GARDEN WITH A PURE GOLDEN TRAY ENCRUSTED WITH DIAMONDS , RUBIES , EMERALS AND PEARLS !. THE TRAY HAD A MAGENTA SILK CLOTH IN THE CENTER WHICH HAD A HANDFUL OF BASMATI RICE IN IT'S CENTER !.
THE GIRL TOOK A SMALL AMOUNT OF RICE AND SPRINKLED IT ON THE GROUND , AS SOON AS SHE DID THAT , A WHITE DOVE FLEW IN , ATE THE GRAINS , DRANK FROM THE ROYAL FOUNTAIN AND FLEW AWAY !. THEN FLEW IN A GRAY DOVE , THE GIRL SPRINKLED MORE RICE , THE DOVE ATE THE GRAINS , DRANK FROM THE FOUNTAIN AND FLEW AWAY !. THE GIRL SPRINKLED SOME MORE RICE , A BROWN DOVE FLEW IN AND AFTER EATING THE GRAINS , DRANK FROM THE FOUNTAIN AND FLEW AWAY !. THE GIRL SPRINKLED SOME MORE RICE !. THIS TIME A PINK DOVE FLEW IN AND WENT KOO KOO KOO LIKE THE OTHERS , ATE THE GRAINS , DRANK FROM THE FOUNTAIN AND FLEW AWAY !. THE GIRL SPRINKLED SOME MORE RICE !. A BLUE DAVE FLEW IN COOING , STARTED TO NIBBLE AT THE RICE !. AFTER IT HAD IT'S FILL , IT FLEW TO THE FOUNTAIN AND DRANK SOME WATER , BEFORE FLYING AWAY , THE GIRL SPRINKLED SOME MORE RICE GRAINS AS SHE SAW A YELLOW DOVE LAND BY HER !. IT COOED THREE TIMES , ATE THE GRAINS , COOED SOME MORE , FLEW TO THE FOUNTAIN DRANK FROM IT AND FLEW AYAY !. THE GIRL WAS VERY HAPPY SO AS SHE SPRINKLED MORE RICE AS SHE BEGAN TO SING A BEAUTIFUL SONG !. JUST THAN A GREEN DOVE DIVED DOWN , WENT COO ,COO , COO AND BEGAN TO ENJOY THE GRAINS OF RICE !. IT THEN FLEY TO THE FOUNTAIN , DRANK IT'S SWEET COOL WATER AND FLEW AWAY !. JUST AS THE GIRL WHO WAS NOW DANCING , SPRINKLED MORE RICE ON THE GROUND , A MAUVE DOVE FLEW AND!.!."
JUST THEN THE KING ASKED THE MINISTER HOW LONG IS THIS GOING TO GO ON ; THE MINISTER REPLIED " AS LONG AS YOUR HIGHNESS DOES NOT GO TO SLEEP " THE KING LAUGHED , GAVE THE MINISTER A HAND FULL OF GOLD COINS AND TOLD HIM TO RETIRE FOR THE NIGHT !.Www@Enter-QA@Com
once upon a time, there was this 15 year old bubble blowing teen!. that couldn't sleep, even if she tried counting sheep!. ok, this is were the story takes a twist, in her closet was a killer, waiting for her to sleep!. and just as she started to dose off, the killer open the closet door slowly and crept next to her, that's when he took out a big hunting knife and was about to slice her to pei!.!.!.!.Www@Enter-QA@Com
Once upon a time there was a little bird named Birdie and she was afraid to fly!. She would hide all day and all night in the bushes, mostly because there were these big bully crows that would land on the ground in front of Birdie they would scare her and tease her by squawking “you can’t flyyyy your afraid to flyyyy” and the little bird would be soooo scared she would hide in the dark underbrush of these bushes!.
One wonderful sunny day a very funny little squirrel named Quirk scurried by and saw the little bird and he asked her “what’s your name and why are you hiding in these bushes”!. The little bird replied “My name is Birdie and I am hiding because I’m afraid to fly and those big bully crows tease me” so the squirrel said “would you like to go sit in the tree” the little bird said “yes very much!” so the squirrel sat down and said “hop on my back and I will take you up the tree!.”
So he did, and everyday since then the squirrel would come by the bushes and the little bird would hop on his back and he would take her up the tree and Birdie would sit on the branch all day long!. Quirk would spend the day scurrying and playing around the branches and up and down all the trees in the forest!. Birdie would just watch wishing she could play too!. Then when it began to get dark the squirrel would bring the little bird back down the tree and would leave her in the dark shelter of the bushes so she could go to bed!.
On this particular day the little bird said “Quirk would you stay here on this branch with me so we can laugh and play and be friends forever!.” The squirrel happily said “yes, I would like that!” so that is exactly what they did they laughed and played, they had been having so much fun!. Then the crows noticed the little bird was in the tree and they swooped down and started teasing the little bird squawking, “you can’t flyyyy your afraid to flyyyy you can’t flyyyyy”!.
Well the little bird was so upset that she started flapping her wings and frantically saying “I can too fly, I’m not afraid to fly, I can fly if I wanted to fly, I can Fly If I want too!!!” Quirk couldn’t believe his eyes he was stunned looking at the little bird he exclaimed “Birdie you’re flying, you’re flying!”…the little bird had flapped her wings so hard that she had begun to fly “I’m flying!?” she said “I am flying!” she was so happy she flew looped deedoos then up and down and in and out of all the branches!. Then she saw it, the tallest tree in all the forest and she flapped her wings as hard as she could and flew all the way to the tippy top of that tallest tree and she sat there so proud and so brave!. Birdie wasn’t afraid of flying anymore and she was never bothered by those big bully crows ever again!.
Everyday the squirrel would scurry up the tallest tree in all the forest to meet the little bird and they would laugh and play throughout the whole forest, in and out of all the branches, and up and down all the trees having so much fun, Quirk and Birdie remained best friends forever!.
The EndWww@Enter-QA@Com
One wonderful sunny day a very funny little squirrel named Quirk scurried by and saw the little bird and he asked her “what’s your name and why are you hiding in these bushes”!. The little bird replied “My name is Birdie and I am hiding because I’m afraid to fly and those big bully crows tease me” so the squirrel said “would you like to go sit in the tree” the little bird said “yes very much!” so the squirrel sat down and said “hop on my back and I will take you up the tree!.”
So he did, and everyday since then the squirrel would come by the bushes and the little bird would hop on his back and he would take her up the tree and Birdie would sit on the branch all day long!. Quirk would spend the day scurrying and playing around the branches and up and down all the trees in the forest!. Birdie would just watch wishing she could play too!. Then when it began to get dark the squirrel would bring the little bird back down the tree and would leave her in the dark shelter of the bushes so she could go to bed!.
On this particular day the little bird said “Quirk would you stay here on this branch with me so we can laugh and play and be friends forever!.” The squirrel happily said “yes, I would like that!” so that is exactly what they did they laughed and played, they had been having so much fun!. Then the crows noticed the little bird was in the tree and they swooped down and started teasing the little bird squawking, “you can’t flyyyy your afraid to flyyyy you can’t flyyyyy”!.
Well the little bird was so upset that she started flapping her wings and frantically saying “I can too fly, I’m not afraid to fly, I can fly if I wanted to fly, I can Fly If I want too!!!” Quirk couldn’t believe his eyes he was stunned looking at the little bird he exclaimed “Birdie you’re flying, you’re flying!”…the little bird had flapped her wings so hard that she had begun to fly “I’m flying!?” she said “I am flying!” she was so happy she flew looped deedoos then up and down and in and out of all the branches!. Then she saw it, the tallest tree in all the forest and she flapped her wings as hard as she could and flew all the way to the tippy top of that tallest tree and she sat there so proud and so brave!. Birdie wasn’t afraid of flying anymore and she was never bothered by those big bully crows ever again!.
Everyday the squirrel would scurry up the tallest tree in all the forest to meet the little bird and they would laugh and play throughout the whole forest, in and out of all the branches, and up and down all the trees having so much fun, Quirk and Birdie remained best friends forever!.
The EndWww@Enter-QA@Com
Once upon a time there lived a little Swedish girl!. She was 14 and her parents had arranged that she would be married to a man from another country!. If she accepted, she would ruin her plans of a real life!. She did not want to crush her dream, but she had no choice but to accept him!. He was a nice man, and it wouldn't be hard to be his wife!. But this little girl decided that since neither of them loved each other she would change her mind!. The man was relieved! He did not want to marry her! They both lived separately happy ever after!.Www@Enter-QA@Com
there is this girl who couldnt sleep!. she went on yahoo messenger to see if any of her friends were on!. one of her friends were on so they talked using web cams!. he couldnt sleep either!. the girl saw a huge shadow behind him with red eyes!. she im him that someone is behind you!. when he looked half way behind him, his head was already cut off and blood went all over the camera!. the girl started to cry and tried to call the police!. someone im here saying that if she doesnt go to sleep tonight, he will come to your house!.Www@Enter-QA@Com
this story always works at putting people to sleep;
In the mystical land of Ballarat *sleep* there lived a young boy *sleep* named Perth, Perth didn't have asparations but he had BIG hopes for his garage band; 'Puberty ooze' *are ya sleeping yet!?* but bands are expensive so Perth had to find a suga mama- and quick! so!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.*SNORE*
give the 10points to Robbie? [the random ho]'s hahaha!Www@Enter-QA@Com
In the mystical land of Ballarat *sleep* there lived a young boy *sleep* named Perth, Perth didn't have asparations but he had BIG hopes for his garage band; 'Puberty ooze' *are ya sleeping yet!?* but bands are expensive so Perth had to find a suga mama- and quick! so!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.*SNORE*
give the 10points to Robbie? [the random ho]'s hahaha!Www@Enter-QA@Com
Okay, I'm going to tell you a really boring story to try and get you to sleep!.
THE HISTORY OF DIRT:
Once upon a time there was like!.!.!. a world!. And this world was full of!.!.!. things!. And on all of these things was dirt!. And this dirt was brought in my tiny little dirt fairies from the sky!. Hmm!.!.!.!. this is too interesting!. Must try again!.!.!. okay!. This dust just sat there and sat there and sat there!. And grew and grew and acccumulated!. And ate chips and watched boring history channel reruns, and sat some more and slept some, and then there was more of it, and then it sat down on the ground because it was tired!. And then it was being pushed aside very slowly by weird green stuff!. And then there was more dirt, and this dirt was!.!.!.!. zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz!.!.!.
Oh, What!?!?!?
Www@Enter-QA@Com
THE HISTORY OF DIRT:
Once upon a time there was like!.!.!. a world!. And this world was full of!.!.!. things!. And on all of these things was dirt!. And this dirt was brought in my tiny little dirt fairies from the sky!. Hmm!.!.!.!. this is too interesting!. Must try again!.!.!. okay!. This dust just sat there and sat there and sat there!. And grew and grew and acccumulated!. And ate chips and watched boring history channel reruns, and sat some more and slept some, and then there was more of it, and then it sat down on the ground because it was tired!. And then it was being pushed aside very slowly by weird green stuff!. And then there was more dirt, and this dirt was!.!.!.!. zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz!.!.!.
Oh, What!?!?!?
Www@Enter-QA@Com
Once upon a time, there was a magical muffin named Gino!. Gino was a very handsome muffin, baked with love!. He was a bouncy muffin, with chocolate chips, and a really nice muffintop [wtf!?] and those little sugary triangles that are found at the top of the muffin!. But! One day, Jamingo the Rabid DonkeyUnicorn attacked our beloved Gino the Muffin, and his muffin guts flew everywhere!.
Then he died!.
The end!.Www@Enter-QA@Com
Then he died!.
The end!.Www@Enter-QA@Com
once in a huge mansion with a miny carniville in the back called netherland ranch a little boy came over!.a man named MJ told the little boycome her on the red bed and so the boy did!.a week later mj was in court with the little boyWww@Enter-QA@Com
took a girl to an M!.I!.A!. concert
she had a panic attack, was totally fine but shes just crazy
so in disbelief i was like, 4real!?!? and she goes: omg yea
and sarcastically i was just like, thats cool!.!.
ruined the whole concert
didnt call her again, havent taken girls to a concert after that
the endWww@Enter-QA@Com
she had a panic attack, was totally fine but shes just crazy
so in disbelief i was like, 4real!?!? and she goes: omg yea
and sarcastically i was just like, thats cool!.!.
ruined the whole concert
didnt call her again, havent taken girls to a concert after that
the endWww@Enter-QA@Com
shut up i dont care
fall asleep and dont wake up!. i will feed your body to barney at exactly 1:00 am sunday night!.Www@Enter-QA@Com
fall asleep and dont wake up!. i will feed your body to barney at exactly 1:00 am sunday night!.Www@Enter-QA@Com
Once upon a time there was this girl blowing a bubble from her favorite bubble gum!. She took a picture and posted on Y!A as an Avatar!. Then she was verrry verrrry sleepy!. The end!. Www@Enter-QA@Com
there was six sheep then fice sheep then four sheep then fives shoeep then three sheep then two sheep then one ooooo!.!.!.ur sleeeping nowWww@Enter-QA@Com
i cant sleep either!!! :(
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Try turning on reruns of Jerry Springer!. That works for me!Www@Enter-QA@Com
hmm let's see!. i got nothin Www@Enter-QA@Com
ok!.be right thereWww@Enter-QA@Com
once upon a time there was a princess!.!.!.!.the endWww@Enter-QA@Com
hi : )Www@Enter-QA@Com
shut down ur computer!!!!Www@Enter-QA@Com
Heres a story:
A Child's Christmas in Wales
One Christmas was so much like another, in those years around the sea-town corner now and out of all sound except the distant speaking of the voices I sometimes hear a moment before sleep, that I can never remember whether it snowed for six days and six nights when I was twelve or whether it snowed for twelve days and twelve nights when I was six!.
All the Christmases roll down toward the two-tongued sea, like a cold and headlong moon bundling down the sky that was our street; and they stop at the rim of the ice-edged fish-freezing waves, and I plunge my hands in the snow and bring out whatever I can find!. In goes my hand into that wool-white bell-tongued ball of holidays resting at the rim of the carol-singing sea, and out come Mrs!. Prothero and the firemen!.
It was on the afternoon of the Christmas Eve, and I was in Mrs!. Prothero's garden, waiting for cats, with her son Jim!. It was snowing!. It was always snowing at Christmas!. December, in my memory, is white as Lapland, though there were no reindeers!. But there were cats!. Patient, cold and callous, our hands wrapped in socks, we waited to snowball the cats!. Sleek and long as jaguars and horrible-whiskered, spitting and snarling, they would slink and sidle over the white back-garden walls, and the lynx-eyed hunters, Jim and I, fur-capped and moccasined trappers from Hudson Bay, off Mumbles Road, would hurl our deadly snowballs at the green of their eyes!. The wise cats never appeared!.
We were so still, Eskimo-footed arctic marksmen in the muffling silence of the eternal snows - eternal, ever since Wednesday - that we never heard Mrs!. Prothero's first cry from her igloo at the bottom of the garden!. Or, if we heard it at all, it was, to us, like the far-off challenge of our enemy and prey, the neighbor's polar cat!. But soon the voice grew louder!.
"Fire!" cried Mrs!. Prothero, and she beat the dinner-gong!.
And we ran down the garden, with the snowballs in our arms, toward the house; and smoke, indeed, was pouring out of the dining-room, and the gong was bombilating, and Mrs!. Prothero was announcing ruin like a town crier in Pompeii!. This was better than all the cats in Wales standing on the wall in a row!. We bounded into the house, laden with snowballs, and stopped at the open door of the smoke-filled room!.
Something was burning all right; perhaps it was Mr!. Prothero, who always slept there after midday dinner with a newspaper over his face!. But he was standing in the middle of the room, saying, "A fine Christmas!" and smacking at the smoke with a slipper!.
"Call the fire brigade," cried Mrs!. Prothero as she beat the gong!. "There won't be there," said Mr!. Prothero, "it's Christmas!." There was no fire to be seen, only clouds of smoke and Mr!. Prothero standing in the middle of them, waving his slipper as though he were conducting!.
"Do something," he said!. And we threw all our snowballs into the smoke - I think we missed Mr!. Prothero - and ran out of the house to the telephone box!.
"Let's call the police as well," Jim said!. "And the ambulance!." "And Ernie Jenkins, he likes fires!."
But we only called the fire brigade, and soon the fire engine came and three tall men in helmets brought a hose into the house and Mr!. Prothero got out just in time before they turned it on!. Nobody could have had a noisier Christmas Eve!. And when the firemen turned off the hose and were standing in the wet, smoky room, Jim's Aunt, Miss!. Prothero, came downstairs and peered in at them!. Jim and I waited, very quietly, to hear what she would say to them!. She said the right thing, always!. She looked at the three tall firemen in their shining helmets, standing among the smoke and cinders and dissolving snowballs, and she said, "Would you like anything to read!?"
Years and years ago, when I was a boy, when there were wolves in Wales, and birds the color of red-flannel petticoats whisked past the harp-shaped hills, when we sang and wallowed all night and day in caves that smelt like Sunday afternoons in damp front farmhouse parlors, and we chased, with the jawbones of deacons, the English and the bears, before the motor car, before the wheel, before the duchess-faced horse, when we rode the daft and happy hills bareback, it snowed and it snowed!. But here a small boy says: "It snowed last year, too!. I made a snowman and my brother knocked it down and I knocked my brother down and then we had tea!."
"But that was not the same snow," I say!. "Our snow was not only shaken from white wash buckets down the sky, it came shawling out of the ground and swam and drifted out of the arms and hands and bodies of the trees; snow grew overnight on the roofs of the houses like a pure and grandfather moss, minutely ivied the walls and settled on the postman, opening the gate, like a dumb, numb thunder-storm of white, torn Christmas cards!."
"Were there postmen then, too!?"
"With sprinkling eyes and wind-cherried noses, on spread, frozen feet they crunched up to the doors and mittened on them manfully!. But all that the children could hear was a ringing of bells!."
"You mean that the postman went rat-a-tat-tat and the doors rang!?"
"I mean that the bells the children could hear were inside them!."
"I only hear thunder sometimes, never bells!."
"There were church bells, too!."
"Inside them!?"
"No, no, no, in the bat-black, snow-white belfries, tugged by bishops and storks!. And they rang their tidings over the bandaged town, over the frozen foam of the powder and ice-cream hills, over the crackling sea!. It seemed that all the churches boomed for joy under my window; and the weathercocks crew for Christmas, on our fence!."
"Get back to the postmen!."
"They were just ordinary postmen, found of walking and dogs and Christmas and the snow!. They knocked on the doors with blue knuckles!. !. !. !."
"Ours has got a black knocker!. !. !. !."
"And then they stood on the white Welcome mat in the little, drifted porches and huffed and puffed, making ghosts with their breath, and jogged from foot to foot like small boys wanting to go out!."
"And then the presents!?"
"And then the Presents, after the Christmas box!. And the cold postman, with a rose on his button-nose, tingled down the tea-tray-slithered run of the chilly glinting hill!. He went in his ice-bound boots like a man on fishmonger's slabs!.
"He wagged his bag like a frozen camel's hump, dizzily turned the corner on one foot, and, by God, he was gone!."
"Get back to the Presents!."
"There were the Useful Presents: engulfing mufflers of the old coach days, and mittens made for giant sloths; zebra scarfs of a substance like silky gum that could be tug-o'-warred down to the galoshes; blinding tam-o'-shanters like patchwork tea cozies and bunny-suited busbies and balaclavas for victims of head-shrinking tribes; from aunts who always wore wool next to the skin there were mustached and rasping vests that made you wonder why the aunts had any skin left at all; and once I had a little crocheted nose bag from an aunt now, alas, no longer whinnying with us!. And pictureless books in which small boys, though warned with quotations not to, would skate on Farmer Giles' pond and did and drowned; and books that told me everything about the wasp, except why!."
"Go on the Useless Presents!."
"Bags of moist and many-colored jelly babies and a folded flag and a false nose and a tram-conductor's cap and a machine that punched tickets and rang a bell; never a catapult; once, by mistake that no one could explain, a little hatchet; and a celluloid duck that made, when you pressed it, a most unducklike sound, a mewing moo that an ambitious cat might make who wished to be a cow; and a painting book in which I could make the grass, the trees, the sea and the animals any colour I pleased, and still the dazzling sky-blue sheep are grazing in the red field under the rainbow-billed and pea-green birds!. Hardboileds, toffee, fudge and allsorts, crunches, cracknels, humbugs, glaciers, marzipan, and butterwelsh for the Welsh!. And troops of bright tin soldiers who, if they could not fight, could always run!. And Snakes-and-Families and Happy Ladders!. And Easy Hobbi-Games for Little Engineers, complete with instructions!. Oh, easy for Leonardo! And a whistle to make the dogs bark to wake up the old man next door to make him beat on the wall with his stick to shake our picture off the wall!. And a packet of cigarettes: you put one in your mouth and you stood at the corner of the street and you waited for hours, in vain, for an old lady to scold you for smoking a cigarette, and then with a smirk you ate it!. And then it was breakfast under the balloons!."
"Were there Uncles like in our house!?"
"There are always Uncles at Christmas!. The same Uncles!. And on Christmas morning, with dog-disturbing whistle and sugar fags, I would scour the swatched town for the news of the little world, and find always a dead bird by the Post Office or by the white deserted swings; perhaps a robin, all but one of his fires out!. Men and women wading or scooping back from chapel, with taproom noses and wind-bussed cheeks, all albinos, huddles their stiff black jarring feathers against the irreligious snow!. Mistletoe hung from the gas brackets in all the front parlors; there was sherry and walnuts and bottled beer and crackers by the dessertspoons; and cats in their fur-abouts watched the fires; and the high-heaped fire spat, all ready for the chestnuts and the mulling pokers!. Some few large men sat in the front parlors, without theirWww@Enter-QA@Com
A Child's Christmas in Wales
One Christmas was so much like another, in those years around the sea-town corner now and out of all sound except the distant speaking of the voices I sometimes hear a moment before sleep, that I can never remember whether it snowed for six days and six nights when I was twelve or whether it snowed for twelve days and twelve nights when I was six!.
All the Christmases roll down toward the two-tongued sea, like a cold and headlong moon bundling down the sky that was our street; and they stop at the rim of the ice-edged fish-freezing waves, and I plunge my hands in the snow and bring out whatever I can find!. In goes my hand into that wool-white bell-tongued ball of holidays resting at the rim of the carol-singing sea, and out come Mrs!. Prothero and the firemen!.
It was on the afternoon of the Christmas Eve, and I was in Mrs!. Prothero's garden, waiting for cats, with her son Jim!. It was snowing!. It was always snowing at Christmas!. December, in my memory, is white as Lapland, though there were no reindeers!. But there were cats!. Patient, cold and callous, our hands wrapped in socks, we waited to snowball the cats!. Sleek and long as jaguars and horrible-whiskered, spitting and snarling, they would slink and sidle over the white back-garden walls, and the lynx-eyed hunters, Jim and I, fur-capped and moccasined trappers from Hudson Bay, off Mumbles Road, would hurl our deadly snowballs at the green of their eyes!. The wise cats never appeared!.
We were so still, Eskimo-footed arctic marksmen in the muffling silence of the eternal snows - eternal, ever since Wednesday - that we never heard Mrs!. Prothero's first cry from her igloo at the bottom of the garden!. Or, if we heard it at all, it was, to us, like the far-off challenge of our enemy and prey, the neighbor's polar cat!. But soon the voice grew louder!.
"Fire!" cried Mrs!. Prothero, and she beat the dinner-gong!.
And we ran down the garden, with the snowballs in our arms, toward the house; and smoke, indeed, was pouring out of the dining-room, and the gong was bombilating, and Mrs!. Prothero was announcing ruin like a town crier in Pompeii!. This was better than all the cats in Wales standing on the wall in a row!. We bounded into the house, laden with snowballs, and stopped at the open door of the smoke-filled room!.
Something was burning all right; perhaps it was Mr!. Prothero, who always slept there after midday dinner with a newspaper over his face!. But he was standing in the middle of the room, saying, "A fine Christmas!" and smacking at the smoke with a slipper!.
"Call the fire brigade," cried Mrs!. Prothero as she beat the gong!. "There won't be there," said Mr!. Prothero, "it's Christmas!." There was no fire to be seen, only clouds of smoke and Mr!. Prothero standing in the middle of them, waving his slipper as though he were conducting!.
"Do something," he said!. And we threw all our snowballs into the smoke - I think we missed Mr!. Prothero - and ran out of the house to the telephone box!.
"Let's call the police as well," Jim said!. "And the ambulance!." "And Ernie Jenkins, he likes fires!."
But we only called the fire brigade, and soon the fire engine came and three tall men in helmets brought a hose into the house and Mr!. Prothero got out just in time before they turned it on!. Nobody could have had a noisier Christmas Eve!. And when the firemen turned off the hose and were standing in the wet, smoky room, Jim's Aunt, Miss!. Prothero, came downstairs and peered in at them!. Jim and I waited, very quietly, to hear what she would say to them!. She said the right thing, always!. She looked at the three tall firemen in their shining helmets, standing among the smoke and cinders and dissolving snowballs, and she said, "Would you like anything to read!?"
Years and years ago, when I was a boy, when there were wolves in Wales, and birds the color of red-flannel petticoats whisked past the harp-shaped hills, when we sang and wallowed all night and day in caves that smelt like Sunday afternoons in damp front farmhouse parlors, and we chased, with the jawbones of deacons, the English and the bears, before the motor car, before the wheel, before the duchess-faced horse, when we rode the daft and happy hills bareback, it snowed and it snowed!. But here a small boy says: "It snowed last year, too!. I made a snowman and my brother knocked it down and I knocked my brother down and then we had tea!."
"But that was not the same snow," I say!. "Our snow was not only shaken from white wash buckets down the sky, it came shawling out of the ground and swam and drifted out of the arms and hands and bodies of the trees; snow grew overnight on the roofs of the houses like a pure and grandfather moss, minutely ivied the walls and settled on the postman, opening the gate, like a dumb, numb thunder-storm of white, torn Christmas cards!."
"Were there postmen then, too!?"
"With sprinkling eyes and wind-cherried noses, on spread, frozen feet they crunched up to the doors and mittened on them manfully!. But all that the children could hear was a ringing of bells!."
"You mean that the postman went rat-a-tat-tat and the doors rang!?"
"I mean that the bells the children could hear were inside them!."
"I only hear thunder sometimes, never bells!."
"There were church bells, too!."
"Inside them!?"
"No, no, no, in the bat-black, snow-white belfries, tugged by bishops and storks!. And they rang their tidings over the bandaged town, over the frozen foam of the powder and ice-cream hills, over the crackling sea!. It seemed that all the churches boomed for joy under my window; and the weathercocks crew for Christmas, on our fence!."
"Get back to the postmen!."
"They were just ordinary postmen, found of walking and dogs and Christmas and the snow!. They knocked on the doors with blue knuckles!. !. !. !."
"Ours has got a black knocker!. !. !. !."
"And then they stood on the white Welcome mat in the little, drifted porches and huffed and puffed, making ghosts with their breath, and jogged from foot to foot like small boys wanting to go out!."
"And then the presents!?"
"And then the Presents, after the Christmas box!. And the cold postman, with a rose on his button-nose, tingled down the tea-tray-slithered run of the chilly glinting hill!. He went in his ice-bound boots like a man on fishmonger's slabs!.
"He wagged his bag like a frozen camel's hump, dizzily turned the corner on one foot, and, by God, he was gone!."
"Get back to the Presents!."
"There were the Useful Presents: engulfing mufflers of the old coach days, and mittens made for giant sloths; zebra scarfs of a substance like silky gum that could be tug-o'-warred down to the galoshes; blinding tam-o'-shanters like patchwork tea cozies and bunny-suited busbies and balaclavas for victims of head-shrinking tribes; from aunts who always wore wool next to the skin there were mustached and rasping vests that made you wonder why the aunts had any skin left at all; and once I had a little crocheted nose bag from an aunt now, alas, no longer whinnying with us!. And pictureless books in which small boys, though warned with quotations not to, would skate on Farmer Giles' pond and did and drowned; and books that told me everything about the wasp, except why!."
"Go on the Useless Presents!."
"Bags of moist and many-colored jelly babies and a folded flag and a false nose and a tram-conductor's cap and a machine that punched tickets and rang a bell; never a catapult; once, by mistake that no one could explain, a little hatchet; and a celluloid duck that made, when you pressed it, a most unducklike sound, a mewing moo that an ambitious cat might make who wished to be a cow; and a painting book in which I could make the grass, the trees, the sea and the animals any colour I pleased, and still the dazzling sky-blue sheep are grazing in the red field under the rainbow-billed and pea-green birds!. Hardboileds, toffee, fudge and allsorts, crunches, cracknels, humbugs, glaciers, marzipan, and butterwelsh for the Welsh!. And troops of bright tin soldiers who, if they could not fight, could always run!. And Snakes-and-Families and Happy Ladders!. And Easy Hobbi-Games for Little Engineers, complete with instructions!. Oh, easy for Leonardo! And a whistle to make the dogs bark to wake up the old man next door to make him beat on the wall with his stick to shake our picture off the wall!. And a packet of cigarettes: you put one in your mouth and you stood at the corner of the street and you waited for hours, in vain, for an old lady to scold you for smoking a cigarette, and then with a smirk you ate it!. And then it was breakfast under the balloons!."
"Were there Uncles like in our house!?"
"There are always Uncles at Christmas!. The same Uncles!. And on Christmas morning, with dog-disturbing whistle and sugar fags, I would scour the swatched town for the news of the little world, and find always a dead bird by the Post Office or by the white deserted swings; perhaps a robin, all but one of his fires out!. Men and women wading or scooping back from chapel, with taproom noses and wind-bussed cheeks, all albinos, huddles their stiff black jarring feathers against the irreligious snow!. Mistletoe hung from the gas brackets in all the front parlors; there was sherry and walnuts and bottled beer and crackers by the dessertspoons; and cats in their fur-abouts watched the fires; and the high-heaped fire spat, all ready for the chestnuts and the mulling pokers!. Some few large men sat in the front parlors, without theirWww@Enter-QA@Com