Who ever has the best.............?!
Question: Who ever has the best!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!?
joke get best answer!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.plus it will gave me something to do cuz i'm like really bored!!!
and!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.thats it!!
soo it to try to get me to laught!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.soo if u get a thumbs up from me!.!.!.!.!.!.then i liked ur joke!!!!Www@Enter-QA@Com
and!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.thats it!!
soo it to try to get me to laught!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.soo if u get a thumbs up from me!.!.!.!.!.!.then i liked ur joke!!!!Www@Enter-QA@Com
Answers:
There was a Blonde and Her sister a Brunette!. They inherited a farm and to keep the livestock going they had to buy a bull!. So the Brunette said to the blonde that she would send a telegram to her to come pick up the bull when the time comes!. The brunette goes to buy the bull with 1000 dollars!. The bull cost 999 dollars!. OH NO! I only have $1 left the brunette thought!. When she was to send a telegram to her Blonde Sister the man said that each word is $1!. While thinking, and thinking the brunette thought of the word Comfortable!. Because her sister is blonde and reads slow so the telegram would say Come for the Bull!.Www@Enter-QA@Com
ok i have 3 (they are all a little perverted!.!.just letting you know)-
1!. Why did the snowman drop his pants!?
-----> because he saw the snow blower coming
2!. What do you all a lesbian dinasour!?
-----> a lickalotofpuss (lick-a-lot-of-puss)
3!. There were 3 ducks sitting in a jail cell!. The man sitting in there with them asked the 1st duck "what did you do to get in here!?" the duck replied "i blew bubbles"!. then the man asked the 2nd duck "what did you do to get in here!?" the duck replied "i blew bubbles too"!. then the man asked the 3rd duck "so what did you do to get in here!?" the duck then replied "!.!.!.i'm bubbles!."
hope you like :)Www@Enter-QA@Com
1!. Why did the snowman drop his pants!?
-----> because he saw the snow blower coming
2!. What do you all a lesbian dinasour!?
-----> a lickalotofpuss (lick-a-lot-of-puss)
3!. There were 3 ducks sitting in a jail cell!. The man sitting in there with them asked the 1st duck "what did you do to get in here!?" the duck replied "i blew bubbles"!. then the man asked the 2nd duck "what did you do to get in here!?" the duck replied "i blew bubbles too"!. then the man asked the 3rd duck "so what did you do to get in here!?" the duck then replied "!.!.!.i'm bubbles!."
hope you like :)Www@Enter-QA@Com
1!. Only in America!.!.!. can a pizza get to your house faster than an ambulance!.
2!. Only in America!.!.!. are there handicap parking places in front of a skating rink!.
3!. Only in America!.!.!. do drugstores make the sick walk all the way to the back of the store to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front!.
4!. Only in America!.!.!. do people order double cheese burgers, large fries, and a diet coke!.
5!. Only in America!.!.!. do banks leave both doors open and then chain the pens to the counters!.
6!. Only in America!.!.!. do we leave cars worth thousands of dollars in the driveway and put our useless junk in the garage!.
7!. Only in America!.!.!. do we use answering machines to screen calls and then have call waiting so we won't miss a call from someone we didn't want to talk to in the first place!.
8!. Only in America!.!.!. do we buy hot dogs in packages of ten and buns in packages of eight!.
9!. Only in America!.!.!. do we use the word 'politics' to describe the process so well: 'Poli' in Latin meaning 'many' and 'tics' meaning 'bloodsucking creatures'!.
10!. Only in America!.!.!. do they have drive-up ATM machines with Braille!.
Mommy, Mommy! What's an orgasm!? I don't know dear, ask your father!.
Mommy, Mommy! What's a nymphomaniac!? Shut up and help me get Gramma off the doorknob!
Mommy, Mommy! Why are we pushing the car off the cliff!? Shut up son, you'll wake your father!.
Mommy, Mommy! The milk man's here; Have you got the money or should I go out and play!?
Mommy, Mommy! Why's everybody running!? Shut up and reload!.
Mommy, Mommy! Daddy's running down the street! Shut up and step on the gas!
Come upstairs, son, like a good boy!. No, Mommy, you'll only throw me down again!.
Mommy, Mommy! My head hurts! Shut up and get away from the dart board!
Mommy, Mommy! Where did your scabs go!? Shut up and eat your corn flakes!
Mommy, Mommy! It's dark down here! Shut up or I'll flush it again!
Mommy, Mommy! I'm getting dizzy!. Shut up or I'll nail your other foot down!
Mommy, Mommy, can I lick the bowl!? Shut up and flush the toilet!
Mommy, Mommy! I hate Daddy's guts!. Shut up kid and keep eating!.
Mommy, Mommy! Can I play with Grandma!? Shut up kid, you dug her up twice last week!
Mommy, Mommy! Why am I so ugly!? Shut up kid and comb your face!.
Mommy, Mommy! What's for dinner!? Shut up and get back in the oven!
Mommy, Mommy!! What's a lesbian!? Go ask your father, she'll know!.
Mommy, Mommy! Can I wear a bra now!? I'm 16!.!. Shut up, Albert!.!.!.!.
Mommy, Mommy, I hate tomato soup! shut up son, we only have it once a month!
Mommy, Mommy! Sally won't come skipping with me!. Don't be cruel dear, you know it makes her stumps bleed!.
Mommy, Mommy! I don't want to see Niagara falls! Shut up and get back in the barrel!
Mommy, Mommy! I want to play with Sheldon! Shut up and close the coffin!
Mommy, Mommy! Daddy puked! Shut up and get a fork, before your sister gets all the big chunks!
Mommy, Mommy! I don't like tomato soup! Shut up, we only have it once a month!.
Mommy, Mommy! I don't wanna visit grandma! Shut up and keep digging!.Www@Enter-QA@Com
2!. Only in America!.!.!. are there handicap parking places in front of a skating rink!.
3!. Only in America!.!.!. do drugstores make the sick walk all the way to the back of the store to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front!.
4!. Only in America!.!.!. do people order double cheese burgers, large fries, and a diet coke!.
5!. Only in America!.!.!. do banks leave both doors open and then chain the pens to the counters!.
6!. Only in America!.!.!. do we leave cars worth thousands of dollars in the driveway and put our useless junk in the garage!.
7!. Only in America!.!.!. do we use answering machines to screen calls and then have call waiting so we won't miss a call from someone we didn't want to talk to in the first place!.
8!. Only in America!.!.!. do we buy hot dogs in packages of ten and buns in packages of eight!.
9!. Only in America!.!.!. do we use the word 'politics' to describe the process so well: 'Poli' in Latin meaning 'many' and 'tics' meaning 'bloodsucking creatures'!.
10!. Only in America!.!.!. do they have drive-up ATM machines with Braille!.
Mommy, Mommy! What's an orgasm!? I don't know dear, ask your father!.
Mommy, Mommy! What's a nymphomaniac!? Shut up and help me get Gramma off the doorknob!
Mommy, Mommy! Why are we pushing the car off the cliff!? Shut up son, you'll wake your father!.
Mommy, Mommy! The milk man's here; Have you got the money or should I go out and play!?
Mommy, Mommy! Why's everybody running!? Shut up and reload!.
Mommy, Mommy! Daddy's running down the street! Shut up and step on the gas!
Come upstairs, son, like a good boy!. No, Mommy, you'll only throw me down again!.
Mommy, Mommy! My head hurts! Shut up and get away from the dart board!
Mommy, Mommy! Where did your scabs go!? Shut up and eat your corn flakes!
Mommy, Mommy! It's dark down here! Shut up or I'll flush it again!
Mommy, Mommy! I'm getting dizzy!. Shut up or I'll nail your other foot down!
Mommy, Mommy, can I lick the bowl!? Shut up and flush the toilet!
Mommy, Mommy! I hate Daddy's guts!. Shut up kid and keep eating!.
Mommy, Mommy! Can I play with Grandma!? Shut up kid, you dug her up twice last week!
Mommy, Mommy! Why am I so ugly!? Shut up kid and comb your face!.
Mommy, Mommy! What's for dinner!? Shut up and get back in the oven!
Mommy, Mommy!! What's a lesbian!? Go ask your father, she'll know!.
Mommy, Mommy! Can I wear a bra now!? I'm 16!.!. Shut up, Albert!.!.!.!.
Mommy, Mommy, I hate tomato soup! shut up son, we only have it once a month!
Mommy, Mommy! Sally won't come skipping with me!. Don't be cruel dear, you know it makes her stumps bleed!.
Mommy, Mommy! I don't want to see Niagara falls! Shut up and get back in the barrel!
Mommy, Mommy! I want to play with Sheldon! Shut up and close the coffin!
Mommy, Mommy! Daddy puked! Shut up and get a fork, before your sister gets all the big chunks!
Mommy, Mommy! I don't like tomato soup! Shut up, we only have it once a month!.
Mommy, Mommy! I don't wanna visit grandma! Shut up and keep digging!.Www@Enter-QA@Com
i know this is a pathetic joke, and you may already know it!. but it's one of my favorites :)
Q: why was tigger's head in the toilet!?
A: he was looking for pooh!
lol, i love that joke!.!. :)Www@Enter-QA@Com
Q: why was tigger's head in the toilet!?
A: he was looking for pooh!
lol, i love that joke!.!. :)Www@Enter-QA@Com
at weddings, old ladies would poke me in the stomach and say, "you're next!" but they stopped doing that to me when i started doing the same thing to them at funerals!.Www@Enter-QA@Com
Masturbation Song
You don't need to use a condom
You don't need a dental dam
You don't need to say "I Love You" or "Here's Fifty
Dollars, Ma'am!."
Don't need to spring for dinner,
Or wear all that sexy stuff
All you need's a set of fingers and a wanker or a muff
'Cause everybody's doin' it, all across the land
Masturbators Of America, Give Yourselves A Hand!
It's natural, and organic
It's easy and it's fun
If you don't know how to do it ask your parents how it's done
You don't need a special license
You don't need a special skill
Just unzip and slip your grip between your hips and get a thrill
'Cause everybody's doin' it, and boy does it feel grand,
Masturbators of America, Give Yourselves a Hand!
(Musical bridge, with lots of suggestive dance moves on the
ROCKER'S part!. For instance, he does that one bit where you
jump backwards on one leg while playing air guitar, except that
instead of playing air guitar he's stroking air wanker!.)
You can do it in the bathroom
You can do it in your bed
You can do it at a concert while you watch the Grateful Dead
You can rub it with some lotion
You can stroke it with a cloth
Arnold Shwartzenegger pounds it, Michael Jackson jacks it off
Your attitude will soften, your horizons will expand!.
Masturbators of America, Give Yourself a Hand
--------------------------------------!.!.!.
Single Woman's Prayer
Now I lay me down to sleep!.
Please don't send me no more creeps!.
Please just send me one good man!.
One without a wedding band!.
One good man who's sweet as pie!.
Who brushed his teeth and doesn't lie!.
Who dresses neat and doesn't smell!.
And is sexy like my man Denzel!.
Is super-rich like Michael J!.
On second thought, that's okay!.
Man, if I should die before I wake,
that would truly take the cake;
No matrimony or honeymoon!.
No fancy reception planned for June!.
No throwing of the wedding bouquet!.
Please, God, don't let me go out that way!.
If I die before I meet Mr!. Right
I won't go out without a fight!.
But then again with my luck,
He'd probably be just some schmuck!.
The single life is not that bad
I know it's just a passing fad!.
I won't be blue!. I will not frown!.
Besides, I like my toilet seat down!.
No more makeup, won't comb my hair!.
So never mind this stupid prayer!.
The single life will do just fine!.
So what's up, girlfriend!?
IT'S PARTY TIME!!!!
--------------------------------------!.!.!.
Walking in a Winter Wonderland
Lacy things -- the wife is missin',
Didn't ask -- her permission,
I'm wearin' her clothes,
Her silk pantyhose,
Walkin' 'round in women's underwear!.
In the store -- there's a teddy,
Little straps -- like spaghetti,
It holds me so tight,
Like handcuffs at night,
Walkin' 'round in women's underwear!.
In the office there's a guy named Melvin,
He pretends that I am Murphy Brown!.
He'll say, "Are you ready!?" I'll say,"Whoa, Man!"
"Let's wait until our wives are out of town!"
Later on, if you wanna,
We can dress -- like Madonna,
Put on some eyeshade,
And join the parade,
Walkin' 'round in women's underwear!
Lacy things!.!.!. missin',
Didn't ask!.!.!. permission,
Wearin' her clothes,
Her silk pantyhose,
Walkin' 'round in women's underwear!.
Walkin' 'round in women's underwear,
Walkin' 'round in women's underwear!Www@Enter-QA@Com
You don't need to use a condom
You don't need a dental dam
You don't need to say "I Love You" or "Here's Fifty
Dollars, Ma'am!."
Don't need to spring for dinner,
Or wear all that sexy stuff
All you need's a set of fingers and a wanker or a muff
'Cause everybody's doin' it, all across the land
Masturbators Of America, Give Yourselves A Hand!
It's natural, and organic
It's easy and it's fun
If you don't know how to do it ask your parents how it's done
You don't need a special license
You don't need a special skill
Just unzip and slip your grip between your hips and get a thrill
'Cause everybody's doin' it, and boy does it feel grand,
Masturbators of America, Give Yourselves a Hand!
(Musical bridge, with lots of suggestive dance moves on the
ROCKER'S part!. For instance, he does that one bit where you
jump backwards on one leg while playing air guitar, except that
instead of playing air guitar he's stroking air wanker!.)
You can do it in the bathroom
You can do it in your bed
You can do it at a concert while you watch the Grateful Dead
You can rub it with some lotion
You can stroke it with a cloth
Arnold Shwartzenegger pounds it, Michael Jackson jacks it off
Your attitude will soften, your horizons will expand!.
Masturbators of America, Give Yourself a Hand
--------------------------------------!.!.!.
Single Woman's Prayer
Now I lay me down to sleep!.
Please don't send me no more creeps!.
Please just send me one good man!.
One without a wedding band!.
One good man who's sweet as pie!.
Who brushed his teeth and doesn't lie!.
Who dresses neat and doesn't smell!.
And is sexy like my man Denzel!.
Is super-rich like Michael J!.
On second thought, that's okay!.
Man, if I should die before I wake,
that would truly take the cake;
No matrimony or honeymoon!.
No fancy reception planned for June!.
No throwing of the wedding bouquet!.
Please, God, don't let me go out that way!.
If I die before I meet Mr!. Right
I won't go out without a fight!.
But then again with my luck,
He'd probably be just some schmuck!.
The single life is not that bad
I know it's just a passing fad!.
I won't be blue!. I will not frown!.
Besides, I like my toilet seat down!.
No more makeup, won't comb my hair!.
So never mind this stupid prayer!.
The single life will do just fine!.
So what's up, girlfriend!?
IT'S PARTY TIME!!!!
--------------------------------------!.!.!.
Walking in a Winter Wonderland
Lacy things -- the wife is missin',
Didn't ask -- her permission,
I'm wearin' her clothes,
Her silk pantyhose,
Walkin' 'round in women's underwear!.
In the store -- there's a teddy,
Little straps -- like spaghetti,
It holds me so tight,
Like handcuffs at night,
Walkin' 'round in women's underwear!.
In the office there's a guy named Melvin,
He pretends that I am Murphy Brown!.
He'll say, "Are you ready!?" I'll say,"Whoa, Man!"
"Let's wait until our wives are out of town!"
Later on, if you wanna,
We can dress -- like Madonna,
Put on some eyeshade,
And join the parade,
Walkin' 'round in women's underwear!
Lacy things!.!.!. missin',
Didn't ask!.!.!. permission,
Wearin' her clothes,
Her silk pantyhose,
Walkin' 'round in women's underwear!.
Walkin' 'round in women's underwear,
Walkin' 'round in women's underwear!Www@Enter-QA@Com