Serious question to ALL my contacts, how can I be a true friend?!
Question: All of my previous friendships were warped by sex, abuse, lies, betrayal (on their part) and jealousy (on both our parts). I am probably too honest, too jealous, and too selfish to change on my own, so I would like genuine advice. Thank you to all who answer, I try to be a good person, I just screw up.
Answers: All of my previous friendships were warped by sex, abuse, lies, betrayal (on their part) and jealousy (on both our parts). I am probably too honest, too jealous, and too selfish to change on my own, so I would like genuine advice. Thank you to all who answer, I try to be a good person, I just screw up.
Just be true to yourself and let your inner beauty shine through. I was like that at one time also. Let the green eyed monster die, stay honest, start giving as not to be selfish. One step at a time my dear, one step at a time. You took the first step by asking for help. To thy own self be true. :D
To be a good contact, you first must add me cause I added you =)
On the internet you CANNOT be a true friend unless you have met the person in flesh and are communicating through the internet.
FRIENDSHIP
True Friendship - Recognition
How can we find true friendship in this often phony, temporary world? Friendship involves recognition or familiarity with another's personality. Friends often share likes and dislikes, interests, pursuits, and passion.
How can we recognize potential friendship? Signs include a mutual desire for companionship and perhaps a common bond of some kind. Beyond that, genuine friendship involves a shared sense of caring and concern, a desire to see one another grow and develop, and a hope for each other to succeed in all aspects of life. True friendship involves action: doing something for someone else while expecting nothing in return; sharing thoughts and feelings without fear of judgment or negative criticism.
True Friendship - Relationship, Trust, Accountability
True friendship involves relationship. Those mutual attributes we mentioned above become the foundation in which recognition transpires into relationship. Many people say, "Oh, he's a good friend of mine," yet they never take time to spend time with that "good friend." Friendship takes time: time to get to know each other, time to build shared memories, time to invest in each other's growth.
Trust is essential to true friendship. We all need someone with whom we can share our lives, thoughts, feelings, and frustrations. We need to be able to share our deepest secrets with someone, without worrying that those secrets will end up on the Internet the next day! Failing to be trustworthy with those intimate secrets can destroy a friendship in a hurry. Faithfulness and loyalty are key to true friendship. Without them, we often feel betrayed, left out, and lonely. In true friendship, there is no backbiting, no negative thoughts, no turning away.
True friendship requires certain accountability factors. Real friends encourage one another and forgive one another where there has been an offense. Genuine friendship supports during times of struggle. Friends are dependable. In true friendship, unconditional love develops. We love our friends no matter what and we always want the best for our friends.
Firstly, stop beating yourself up. We all mistakes, but it doesn't matter because we learn from them and they make us who we are.
Secondly, just 'go with the flow'. Try not to worry about where a friendship is going or why it has formed, just enjoy it for what it is. If you just be yourself that's all anyone can ask and if you are honest and genuine about who you are, people should do the same back. Those who don't aren't worthy of your friendship anyway.
A true friend is "one who walks in when the rest of the world walks out". As long as you're there when it really matters, that's the most important thing.
Heres the deal; If you want to be a true friend, your gonna have to be yourself.
Thats who your true friends should accept you for :)
I agree with what the other 2 answers are saying too though.
Its hard.
You don't have to change if you don't want to.
As for your past- Let it go and start afresh :)
Alot of people here are in your favour, your quite popular missy!
As for making mistakes, thats life.
Nobodys perfect, and will never be however much they try.
Perfection doesn't exist- We are humans, we have to make mistakes and try our best to learn from them.
I've made too many already, but by putting the lessons i've learnt in life, i've tried to be a better person.
I don't know if its working or not loll :)
Hope i've helped in some way :)
Everything will get better, just have hope!
xx
I can't advise you on how to be a friend...you have already outlined what you consider your faults all you need now is to reign them in a bit for your benefit not anyone elses.
Jealousy can be and often is damaging to relationships but that feeling generally comes from mistrust and a lack of self respect...you need time out and stop beating yourself up and start loving you ..until then you'll not be a friend to anyone and right now you need to befriend yourself...also stop trying to please everyone else, think about your needs,,be selfish then you can be the friend you want to be...
Good luck.
There are two important aspects to being a true friend.
The first is to be yourself; that means to be open with yourself, accept what is naturally you.
The second is to be willing to allow another person into what person you are; this involves the risk of getting hurt should the person on the other end doing something. However, oftimes people take offense where none is intended, forgetting the friendship that was already in place. All of these type of hurts are just due to human nature.
Sometimes our trust can truly be violated; however, continual open communication without judgment should resolve any conflict that comes along.
One opens one's door to be a friend. There are rewards but always there will be risks.
It is NOT just you . :)
We ALL screw up ..... humans are naturally "screwer uppers". :)
Don't be so hard on yourself.
I am not sure what your age is, but one thing I have learned is that over time, we learn, and learn and grow, and improve... and most of us get to be better people over time (hopefully). :)
Just be patient, and maybe choose a different set of people to be friends with.
Try to choose someone you look up to, who possesses the personality traits and qualities you admire, and maybe you will develop this type of kindness, too, over time. :)
It is not the quantity of friends you have, but the quality.
One good friend is all you need. :)
Nobody can love or care about you if you don't care about yourself first.The worst thing you can do is sit around feeling sorry for yourself that will not make people want to be around you let alone be your friend.People want happiness in their lives and having to deal with drama all the time will only drive them away.My advice to you is Stop being so negative about everything.You are a good person but you have to believe it too.You can't make people be your friend by posting questions hoping they will see them. You call previous friendships Warped by sex,abuse,lies,betrayal and jealousy. That's not friendship.Friendship is caring,trusting,truthfulness wanting nothing but the best for them and yourself.I noticed on your list abuse.Anyone who abuses you isn't and never was your friend.That's where you screw up by letting them abuse you.You have the power to stop the abuse no one else can do this for you.There's no such thing as too honest.I'm honest and my friends know that they can say anything to me and I can say anything to them without fear of rejection.Jealousy will kill any friendship so you really have to work on that! I'm sorry but you have to work on this by yourself.Stop being a push over and letting people walk all over you.Move on their NOT your friends.Friendship is not supposed to hurt.This is my honest opinion! Best of Luck With That!! ?
if you are serious about wanting to discover things about yourself ,i strongly recommend therapy. the good ones (therapists)you can learn something from, and the stupid ones are fun to fk with.
Dear Agent Scully,
Start by being a friend to yourself. If you are overly critical of yourself, you will either transfer all your insecurities to your friendship, and become too needy, or become bitter, and unpleasant to be around.
Give freely to your friends, and accept what they give to you. Do not focus on what you expect, because people rarely do and say exactly what you expect. You cannot make them into the perfect friend, nor can you save them from themselves.
Do not expect one person to be your entire universe. It is too much pressure for one person to be your everything, and it is very unhealthy.
Do not continue friendships that are detrimental to your happiness. You can't always choose who comes into your life, you can only choose who stays.
If you love someone, you want the best for them. If you are jealous, you need to reexamine your hostility. Their happiness is not there to make you feel bad about what you are missing, it is there for you to enjoy with them. Jealously can be a good motivator in helping you work towards a goal.
Remember that you can be your friend, too. If you are at peace with yourself, it will be much easier to connect with others.
Good luck to you in your relationships, and I hope this helps in some way.
Best wishes,
My Secret Identity :)