Help: I'm Too Standoffish!!! and I need to open up!?!
Question: How do I stop??? I always push people away. I think it's because I dont trust them and I'm afraid of being hurt, rejected, made fun of...For example I'm 17 and I've never even been in a real relationship. I can't let guys know that I like them and I always act uninterested. I jsut kind of ignore them. When I'm faced with a conversation, i k just draw a blank and cant think of ANYTHING to say...Does anyone else have this problem? Or have any tips as to how I can stop being like this? Any comments would be really helpful.
Answers: How do I stop??? I always push people away. I think it's because I dont trust them and I'm afraid of being hurt, rejected, made fun of...For example I'm 17 and I've never even been in a real relationship. I can't let guys know that I like them and I always act uninterested. I jsut kind of ignore them. When I'm faced with a conversation, i k just draw a blank and cant think of ANYTHING to say...Does anyone else have this problem? Or have any tips as to how I can stop being like this? Any comments would be really helpful.
I have that problem too but I'm getting better at it. It takes time and practice. Nobody is going to reject you, and if they do, then they're not worthy of being your friend. Who cares; they are just jerks or beetches. When you feel like you don't have the nerve to talk to someone, ask yourself, what's the worst that could happen? It's not like the person is going to bite you. (hopefully, anyways) And as for drawing a blank, that takes some time and practice. Pretend you're talking to a friend instead of a guy. And remember, don't let the fear of striking out keep you from playing the game. (Sorry...that was really cheesy. Oh well) Good luck! :)
Seventeen is not late for never having had an actual boyfriend. I had the same problem, and you just have to learn how to trust people a little bit.
Let the conversation guide you; don't try to direct it.
We must be twins. i feel the exact same way. so much the same, its creepy.
you arent alone!
1st off have a star... 2nd you will eventually get pass this.
i had the same problem. You just have to smile, if you think someone is cute or like them...you don't have to necessarily flirt. eye contact and a happy expression is enough. i got tired of being angry, and depressed...and not trying to be a bible thumper, but i prayed about it and god helped me. i always have trouble, my expression is different from what i am really feeling.
You are not the least bit alone. I may be only 13 but I have that exact same problem. My suggestions are to get out more with friends, and try to start conversations (I know it can be hard) instead of letting the other person do it. Say little things whenever you get the chance. Be the one to say hi; take a chance once and awhile. I know it can be really hard, and I'm still trying to open up some more, but do your best and eventually, you can be who you want to be.
I know the type. I used to be one, still am to a certain extent. Don't think just act. Or overthink and act. Pretend your someone else, (i.e. act like one of your favorite actors just to start). Talk about something you observe, or local news/events. Just be polite, cordial and yourself. Or leave caution to the wind and say whatever's on your mind. Just do your own thing no matter what!
I'm going through the same thing. I'm also 17 and i'm sooooo stand offish...I hate it. But i guess we have to just try to be more outgoing and just practice at it.
Well i hope it makes you feel better that your not the only one, cuz it made me feel better reading that you were....