Its a long story i know but ur answer will MAKE A change..plz help me..?!
Question: childhood: mum was so strict, im hit until now (severly).. until now we have a (naughty spot- room) actually its the bathroom where i spend the night if did sth bad... mum always mistrusts me... when i was 6 yrs old i stole things from ma friends but stopped whn i was severly punished(hit) 4 this attitude...I HATE MY MUM..dad is alwayz away travelling...
im now 19 . i am used to SEVERLY self harm, for the last 3 yrs ,(cut,burnt,pierced maself..overdosed.. i traverse streets without looking...im on a YOYO diet either i eat toooooo much or i starve myself..i never had a set weight....im am a danger seeker..for example i walk in dark streets instead of safer ones, i disobey laws..etc
my problem is: i cant have a BEST friend... im friendly,, ppl say im cute n sweet,ive lots of non close friends...but whn i get close to anyone & share with her all my problems @ the end i turn against her,though she was caring- and i say tht i want distance, i hate u , plz leave me alone...then i regret that deed n ask for her forgivness, but it is too late and they go away because the say i hurt them badly...i did that with 4 people before and im looking at my friends as if they are toys or sth and im trying to search 4 the (target) i mean the next girl who i will show deeeep love and care then ill turn on her @ the end...but i swear i dont mean to manipulate their feelings actually i feel tht hatred towards them @ the end.then i deeply regret it and i self harm myself deeply as a punishment..
i used to be successful but 4 the last coouple of years im not consentrating on ma studies,im always daydreaming.im either very happy n cheerful.or depressed crying with no reason..or im overexcited & "crazy n funny"..i really have no exact personality im too flexible iam what matches with the others...when im talking with a group its a mess i cant be myself coz i dun kno how to act.
i love being with my friends,i hate to b alone especially when i know ma friends are having fun together and im grounded or mum doesnt agree to the outing... im oversensitive. very easily hury and also forgive very easily
plz help me... mum doesnt believe in mental illness though i tried to kill myself and she witnessed and stopped this, two times ma friends cant help me...and i dont know what to do..
PS: in egypt i cant leave home and live bymyself i live with my parents untill i get married and i cant seek medical help alone....plz plz help me(crying)thanx
Answers: childhood: mum was so strict, im hit until now (severly).. until now we have a (naughty spot- room) actually its the bathroom where i spend the night if did sth bad... mum always mistrusts me... when i was 6 yrs old i stole things from ma friends but stopped whn i was severly punished(hit) 4 this attitude...I HATE MY MUM..dad is alwayz away travelling...
im now 19 . i am used to SEVERLY self harm, for the last 3 yrs ,(cut,burnt,pierced maself..overdosed.. i traverse streets without looking...im on a YOYO diet either i eat toooooo much or i starve myself..i never had a set weight....im am a danger seeker..for example i walk in dark streets instead of safer ones, i disobey laws..etc
my problem is: i cant have a BEST friend... im friendly,, ppl say im cute n sweet,ive lots of non close friends...but whn i get close to anyone & share with her all my problems @ the end i turn against her,though she was caring- and i say tht i want distance, i hate u , plz leave me alone...then i regret that deed n ask for her forgivness, but it is too late and they go away because the say i hurt them badly...i did that with 4 people before and im looking at my friends as if they are toys or sth and im trying to search 4 the (target) i mean the next girl who i will show deeeep love and care then ill turn on her @ the end...but i swear i dont mean to manipulate their feelings actually i feel tht hatred towards them @ the end.then i deeply regret it and i self harm myself deeply as a punishment..
i used to be successful but 4 the last coouple of years im not consentrating on ma studies,im always daydreaming.im either very happy n cheerful.or depressed crying with no reason..or im overexcited & "crazy n funny"..i really have no exact personality im too flexible iam what matches with the others...when im talking with a group its a mess i cant be myself coz i dun kno how to act.
i love being with my friends,i hate to b alone especially when i know ma friends are having fun together and im grounded or mum doesnt agree to the outing... im oversensitive. very easily hury and also forgive very easily
plz help me... mum doesnt believe in mental illness though i tried to kill myself and she witnessed and stopped this, two times ma friends cant help me...and i dont know what to do..
PS: in egypt i cant leave home and live bymyself i live with my parents untill i get married and i cant seek medical help alone....plz plz help me(crying)thanx
I think u and ur parents are Muslim. I'm Muslim too in a Muslim country. But I'm more free than you. It's about culture..
I'm younger than u but I'm so sad now so I'll try to help.
I think you have a trust and fear problem. Your mum hit you many times and never trusted u in ur childhood so you can't trust anyone. You believe that if u trust and tell about ur private, the other person will hurt u. Your privates are like your armor...Pls don't try to kill yourself again. You say u're very cheerful and funny. So why dying? There are lots of beauties of life to see. Think about ur friends? What can they do without u?
In my opinion, ur mum is very narrow-minded. She should shame on her. All of these are her fault. Pls don't cry. You can contact with psychologists on the Net. Also you can always write to me. I'll try to help you and maybe a friend for u. Pls don't cry and make me sad. I know u didn't deserve these but u're important for the world, don't forget that.