This may sound a bit strange, but what do you think True or not??!
Question: Now that food has replaced sex in my life, I can't even get into my own pants.
Marraige changes passion.
Suddenly your in bed with a relative.
I saw a woman wearing a sweat shirt
with "Guess" on it.
I said "Implants?" and she hit me
How come we choose from just two
people to run for President and
over fifty for Miss America?
I signed up for an exercise class
and was told to wear loose fitting clothing.
IF I HAD loose fitting clothing, I
wouldn't have sighned up in the first place.
When I was young we used to
go "skinny dipping", now I just " chunky dunk".
Don't argue with an Idiot ;
People may not be able to tell the diffrence.
Wouldn't it be nice if whenever we messed up our life we could simply press 'Ctrl Alt Delete' and start all over? AMEN, AMEN !!
Wouldn't you know it...
Brain cells come and brain cells go, but FATcells live forever.
And remember: life is like a roll of toilet paper. The closer it gets to the end, the faster it goes.
Answers: Now that food has replaced sex in my life, I can't even get into my own pants.
Marraige changes passion.
Suddenly your in bed with a relative.
I saw a woman wearing a sweat shirt
with "Guess" on it.
I said "Implants?" and she hit me
How come we choose from just two
people to run for President and
over fifty for Miss America?
I signed up for an exercise class
and was told to wear loose fitting clothing.
IF I HAD loose fitting clothing, I
wouldn't have sighned up in the first place.
When I was young we used to
go "skinny dipping", now I just " chunky dunk".
Don't argue with an Idiot ;
People may not be able to tell the diffrence.
Wouldn't it be nice if whenever we messed up our life we could simply press 'Ctrl Alt Delete' and start all over? AMEN, AMEN !!
Wouldn't you know it...
Brain cells come and brain cells go, but FATcells live forever.
And remember: life is like a roll of toilet paper. The closer it gets to the end, the faster it goes.
Wouldn't it be divine if we did have a "Ctrl Alt Delete"? We could just re-boot and start the day over again!
Thanks for the chuckle!
I love it!!!! Especially the toilet paper!
oh it's jokes
True, very true and thank you for the laugh
omg! this is one of the funniest things i have ever read!!! all of it is sooo TRUE!! LMFAO!!!!
I went to my shrink..he says he thinks i am going crazy. I says, doc if you don't mind i would like to get a 2nd opinion. He says, alright your ugly too!
I loved it..
How very true.
True, often cruelly so.
how awesome!!!
Truer words have never been spoken.