The next time someone asks you a dumb question wouldn't you like to?!


Question: Yesterday I was in Wal-Mart buying a large bag of Purina dog chow for
my dog and was about to check out.

A woman behind me asked if I had a dog. What did she think I had? So
since I'm retired, with little to do, I told her that no I didn't have
a dog, and that I was starting the Purina Diet again. I explained
that I probably shouldn't be going back on this diet because I'd ended
up in the hospital last time, although I'd lost 50 pounds before I
awakened in an intensive care ward with tubes coming out of most of my
orifices and IVs in both arms.

I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way
that it works is to load your pants pockets with Purina nuggets and
simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry and that the food is
nutritionally complete so I was going to try it again. (I have to
mention here that practically everyone in the line was by now
enthralled with my story).

Horrified , she asked if I ended up in intensive care because the dog
food poisoned me. I told her no; that I had stepped off a curb to
sniff an Irish Setter's *** and a car hit us both.

I thought the guy behind her was going to have a heart attack, he was
laughing so hard!

WAL-MART won't let me shop there anymore


Answers: Yesterday I was in Wal-Mart buying a large bag of Purina dog chow for
my dog and was about to check out.

A woman behind me asked if I had a dog. What did she think I had? So
since I'm retired, with little to do, I told her that no I didn't have
a dog, and that I was starting the Purina Diet again. I explained
that I probably shouldn't be going back on this diet because I'd ended
up in the hospital last time, although I'd lost 50 pounds before I
awakened in an intensive care ward with tubes coming out of most of my
orifices and IVs in both arms.

I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way
that it works is to load your pants pockets with Purina nuggets and
simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry and that the food is
nutritionally complete so I was going to try it again. (I have to
mention here that practically everyone in the line was by now
enthralled with my story).

Horrified , she asked if I ended up in intensive care because the dog
food poisoned me. I told her no; that I had stepped off a curb to
sniff an Irish Setter's *** and a car hit us both.

I thought the guy behind her was going to have a heart attack, he was
laughing so hard!

WAL-MART won't let me shop there anymore

hahahahahahaha.......you're one funny man

SLAP THEM

whats the question?
thats funny though

OH MY !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

hahahahahah

i love it

I miss having friends like you. I just moved to a new area and cannot find this sense of humor!!

Whaats the question?

theres alwaysZELLERS, i thought i had a warped sense of humour. thats excellant.

You over-reacted man .The poor old woman probably just wanted to make conversation.Be cool..........

You are making that up, and in case you are not, that was a very naughty thing to say to someone, you meany.

Be more patient. Stressful life is making me very bitchy! We all goof off sometimes.

LMAO! I got some for you...

IDIOT SIGHTING:
We had to have the garage door repaired. The Sears repairman told us that one of our problems was that we did not have a 'large' enough motor on the opener.
I thought for a minute, and said that we had the largest one Sears made at that time, a 1/2 horsepower.
He shook his head and said, 'Lady, you need a 1/4 horsepower.' I responded that 1/2 was larger than 1/4.
He said, 'NO, it's not.' Four is larger than two..'

We haven't used Sears repair since.

IDIOT SIGHTING
My daughter and I went through the McDonald's take-out window and I gave the clerk a $5 bill. Our total was $4.25, so I also handed her a quarter.
She said, 'you gave me too much money.' I said, 'Yes I know, but this way you can just give me a dollar bill back.'
She sighed and went to get the manager who asked me to repeat my request. I did so, and he handed me back the quarter,
and said 'We're sorry but they could not do that kind of thing.' The clerk then proceeded to give me back$1 and 75 cents in change.

Do not confuse the clerks at Mc D's.



IDIOT SIGHTING:
I live in a semi rural area. We recently had a new neighbor call the local township administrative office to request the removal of
the DEER CROSSING sign on our road.
The reason: 'Too many deer are being hit by cars out here! I don't think this is a good place for them to be crossing anymore.'

>From Kingman , KS .



IDIOT SIGHTING IN FOOD SERVICE:
My daughter went to a local Taco Bell and ordered a taco. She asked the person behind the counter for 'minimal lettuce.'
He said he was sorry, but they only had iceberg lettuce.
>From Kansas City




IDIOT SIGHTING:
I was at the airport, checking in at the gate when an airport employee asked, 'Has anyone put anything in your baggage without your knowledge?'
To which I replied, 'If it was without my knowledge, how would I know?'
He smiled knowingly and nodded, 'That's why we ask.'

Happened in Birmingham , Ala.




IDIOT SIGHTING:
The stoplight on the corner buzzes when it's safe to cross the street. I was crossing with an intellectually challenged coworker of mine.
She asked if I knew what the buzzer was for. I explained that it signals blind people when the light is red.
Appalled, she responded, 'What on earth are blind people doing driving?!'

She was a probation officer in Wichita , KS


IDIOT SIGHTING:
At a good-bye luncheon, for an old and dear coworker, as she was leaving the company due to 'downsizing.'
Our manager commented cheerfully, 'This is fun. We should do this more often.'
Not another word was spoken. We all just looked at each other with that deer-in-the-headlights stare.

This was a lunch at Texas Instruments.



IDIOT SIGHTING:
I work with an individual who plugged her power strip back into itself and for the sake of her life, couldn't understand why her system would not turn on

A deputy with the Dallas County Sheriffs office, no less.



IDIOT SIGHTING:
When my husband and I arrived at an automobile dealership to pick up our car, we were told the keys had been locked in it.
We went to the service department and found a mechanic working feverishly to unlock the drivers side door.
As I watched from the passenger side, I instinctively tried the door handle and discovered that it was unlocked.
'Hey,' I announced to the technician, 'its open!' His reply, 'I know. I already got that side.'

This was at the Ford dealership in Canton , Mississippi



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