Im paranoid if I have kids they may get molested???This may seem like a wierd qu!
Question: Im paranoid if I have kids they may get molested???
I hear from friends & family saying if I have a kid in near future becareful because they could be molested at anytime & even by the father. The thing that worries me most is I see and hear this everywhere on t.v & from friends who had it happen to them.How could I ever tell or know if my future mate is like this?People say there are signs but Im so worried it makes me not want to have kids & how will I ever trust the father around the child alone if I am soo paranoid? My family never accused him I just see all these shows & it seem like people are getting molested left and right .I was never molested but alot of my friends were & now I hear some family members were too,My Mom was over protective with me.Help I'm paranoid & scared they guy I may marry doesnt seem like this type & I'm very observant too,he took great care of his son, and says if we do get married he would like a daughter,is this normal for him to want a girl over boy
Answers: Im paranoid if I have kids they may get molested???
I hear from friends & family saying if I have a kid in near future becareful because they could be molested at anytime & even by the father. The thing that worries me most is I see and hear this everywhere on t.v & from friends who had it happen to them.How could I ever tell or know if my future mate is like this?People say there are signs but Im so worried it makes me not want to have kids & how will I ever trust the father around the child alone if I am soo paranoid? My family never accused him I just see all these shows & it seem like people are getting molested left and right .I was never molested but alot of my friends were & now I hear some family members were too,My Mom was over protective with me.Help I'm paranoid & scared they guy I may marry doesnt seem like this type & I'm very observant too,he took great care of his son, and says if we do get married he would like a daughter,is this normal for him to want a girl over boy
From working with kids that had been molested, working with molesters, and working with the wives of the children molested (that is certainly a run on sentences isn't it) I can tell you some things that may ease your panic. I'm aware, believe it or not, it often appears that women who are sexually molested as children seem to marry sexual molesters. If you really and truly were not sexually abused as a child you're not likely to marry an abuser. It sounds like your families pretty nuts, or else there are things going on that your not telling us. Maybe if your family members have been molested they can see, or sense things in the boyfriend that you're not just seeing. Or maybe they're just grossly overreacting. Did they say that about other boyfriends you've had, or just him? I think you need to go see a counselor and get them to help you sort out all these things. There are just too many unanswered questions here. I've gotten confused just writing about it!!
Yes it's normal for him to want a daughter. What's not normal is trippin that kids you havent had yet will get molested, what a nutcase!
These are negative thoughts.
They come from negative influences.
How to stop them?
Use The Name, The Word, and the Blood commanding them to stop speaking to your brain and leave you alone(this can include the people....it will put them in their place).
I have a 2 year old, and I worry all the time of something terrible happening to her. But all you can do is be the best parent you can be, and surround them with love and support..
wanting a particular sex in a child , i wanted boys but i got girls. Being totally parnoid over something that hasn't even happened yet ins't. I suggest that u seriously go and talk to some in a professional capacity. Mainly for ur own sake, but definately for any future husband or children u may have.
Fathers molesting their kids are really really rare, the media just blows every case up 1,000,000x.
Pray...
and why is this question in Polls & Surveys
Geez, you're messing up the pary! lol
if your really this worried i dont think your ready for a kid. the world is just a mess these days and to bring a child in you have to be confident that you will be able to care for it to the best of your ablity. if you are nervous about the father being a molester then you probably shouldnt be with him.. why would you put yourself in the same danger you would bring a child up in.
its normal for a guy to want a boy or girl. maybe he has certain experiences growing up he doesnt want a son to go through.. who knows. some woman want boys.. is that normal??
just calm down and when your ready to settle down and have a baby you wont be as worried.
if your still having those thoughts then i would hold off.
sort of sounds like an excuse to wait for a baby anyways.
happy holidays
Honestly, I was molested as a child. However, I think your concerns could best be addressed by a good therapist, not like a psychiatrist, but someone with a masters in social work. It helps to separate the realistic fear from the fear of the unknown. Being paranoid can come from self doubt, and if I had to guess, I think your gut would tell you if something was wrong in the future.
I don't understand why your friends & family are "putting these thoughts in your head." You may want to put a stop to the subject, and let your own thoughts kick in. Relax.
i am a mom of 3 and prego with #4. it is normal to worry. like ppl already said, just be the best mom you can. when they get old enough to understand, be very open with them about how no one has the right to touch them & how they can always tell you anything. this is how i am with mine. they are 9, 7 &3. hope this helps you feel better. :)
My aunt actually had the same fears about her husband but she was physically abused/molested by her uncle and brother. She wouldn't let her daughters and husband in the same room alone for a very long time. With therapy and trust she got over it.
I don't think you fears are normal fears, but somewhat valid. Molestation has been happening for millenium, it's only recently (like in the last 50 years or so) that people started talking about it and doing anything about it. I'm not saying it's right, but I wonder if it's an instinctual trait since it was normal for such a long time to have sex with children...maybe a good debate question for Y!A?
jeez, chill. if you live your life in fear, you'll live your life with regrets. children are amazing. don't not have children because you are scared about what could happen to them. there is a risk in every choice we make and you just have to decide if you are willing to take that risk. i say that you just need to get over your fear. and yeah, it is normal for a guy to want a daughter.
i understand your concern but not all me are child molesters .and it is natural to think of all the terrible things that can happen to your kids,but if you are a protective mother and you are aware of everything that goes on in your kids life ,the chances are they will be fine .instead of concentrating on all the bad things think of all the good things that can happen for you and your kids,think positive and pray for there safety
I know guys that have made passes at girls. And they are fathers themselves. Some men as well as some women have no respect or decency.
Best advise would be to follow your instincts. I myself wouldn't have children with the way things are today. I would worry to much. This guy you have a relationship with. Ask yourself how well do you know him. And has he ever given you the impression that he can't be trusted around children.