Poll: Is my mom a tightwad or am I greedy? (DETAILS)?!
Question: I'm a 30 year old widow, i have a 9 year old son. My son wants to get me a Christmas gift. For the past 7 years since my husband died, my sister-in-law has taken my son shopping for a gift for me, out of the kindness of her heart. This year she didn't get around to it, so he asked my mother.
She just called and asked me to give her money to take him shopping.
MY MOTHER IS NOT POOR.
Am i greedy for thinking she should just buy it, or is she just a money hoarding BLEEP?
Answers: I'm a 30 year old widow, i have a 9 year old son. My son wants to get me a Christmas gift. For the past 7 years since my husband died, my sister-in-law has taken my son shopping for a gift for me, out of the kindness of her heart. This year she didn't get around to it, so he asked my mother.
She just called and asked me to give her money to take him shopping.
MY MOTHER IS NOT POOR.
Am i greedy for thinking she should just buy it, or is she just a money hoarding BLEEP?
She must have had a momentary lapse, or brain fart, and may not realize that it came out that way. My mom and I are close enough that if she has her head up her ***, I take her aside and call her out. I see why you're upset, you're already doing the parenting of two people. Your son's 9, he's not stupid, but keep being careful not to discuss it around him. It's not advice, just a reminder. They have their whole pretty lives to stress over money. Hope things get straightened out.
Well that'd be paying for your own gift wouldn't it? that seems pretty odd in my eyes.
I would never have said what your mom said, what happened to doing things out of the goodness of your heart.?????
Well... You should know your mother by now.
I wouldn't say you are greedy, as you are stating that she isn't poor.
Anyway, just give her money, as that isn't about money but about your son.
Even better, does your son have pocket money?
We used to buy gifts to our parents out of pocket money we had.
That's a tough one to call, not knowing your relationship with your mother and all. But I would like to think that if she is willing to take him shopping so that he may get you a gift, she should pay for it. You could go out with him and spend your own money on a gift but it wouldn't be the same. Tell her you have no money left right now.
All I can offer is what I know my Mother would have done in such a situation.
She would have been thrilled to help him out, and she would have made him swear not to let on that they were going shopping, even knowing full well I would know what was up.
I know she would have done that, because she did it with both my boys once. I sure miss her this time of year.
It isn't the size of the gift, it's the thought. So my first inclination is to think 'tightwad.'
Sorry...
since its your son it shouldn't matter where the money came from as long as he picks it out........it's the thought that counts, right?
your mother is a tightwad and take your son shopping yourself and get what you think you want and make him purchase it for you.
Not trying to be cruel here...but it seems like it was your sister in law's thing...not your mother's and since S-I-L finally got tired of footing the bill after 7 years, she got "busy". Now you expect someone ELSE to pay for HIS gift to YOU?
Wow.
My children have chores and such where they earn money and buy their own gifts. (And have for YEARS)
They don't expect handouts from people to get something for their mom and dad.
So yeah...I'd say exceptionally greedy and really teaching your kid bad values as far as money goes.
He will have a very rude awakening when he gets into the 'real world' and realizes that he will have to pay his OWN way....for *everything*.
You are doing him a disservice as a mother by being upset that no one is handing money over to him to buy you something.
Wow. Wow. Wow
*******Still, no one should do this for you. Be a better Mom. What kind of greedy and materialistic example are you setting for a child? And since I am GROWN, I can get my point across without bad words. A person who curses is not in control. Geez. You are 30 and supposed to be an adult and you are acting like a selfish child. Don't act like you are a 2 year old throwing a temper tantrum....like by name calling. REAL mature. Now I understand what your issue is!!!!!!!!!!!! You are teaching your child to have stuff handed to him....that is a recipe for disaster. The jails are full enough, dear.**********************
If she is your Mother, I am sure you already know the answer to yur own question, but I will give my opinion anyway.
She probably has either decided that if you give her the money, it will give her an idea of the price range that you expect the gift to be in, and knows that if she just guesses and pays herself, she will risk looking "cheap" (if she pays too little) or will go overboard.
You already stated that your sister in law did this "out of the kindness of her heart", but now you Mother is a "BLEEP"?
You gotta be kidding me!
Live by your own means as nobody owes you or anybody a living love your mother for being your mother and not some sort of cash cow then you will never be disappointed sorry its blunt but also true
I think your mum acted very unwisely, your son is 9 years old. Your mum, should have just gone along with his request, and not approached you on that subject ."Wrong MUM Shame"
Sorry about your sister's surgery.
Just try not to be angry (I can sense it from your words) let your son buy the gift if your Mom won't, it won't be much but thank your son like he bought you something that cost a lot.
You have a nice kid sounds like.
Just learn to let go,
Viola
Your Mom is not a very nice person - and the apple did not fall far from the tree. You both need to learn some new techniques in communicating. WOW. Just because your Mother has money does not mean she should be obligated to give it to someone who thinks the way you do about her.
Do this - -
Copy and paste this question and e mail it to BOTH your SIL AND your mother. TELL THEM you posted it. Go ahead, don't be shy. Let THEM know how you really feel - WHY NOT?! Their responses will give you the answer.