Ladies survey: Do you think this was this inconsiderate of me?!
Question: I have a sort-of girlfriend; we have been together many years, but I think it's clear to both of us that we won't be together much longer. We still live together as roommates.
Today she received a gift basket from a friend that lives back east. This friend she grew up with, and though they have little contact anymore, they remember each other at Christmas. This gift basket had high quality fruit in it, and since I am a vegetarian, fruit is an indulgence for me, especially stuff like this. I just tore into the fruit basket and got at the fruit--I didn't stop to think about maybe her wanting to open the basket herself when she gets home from work---I just wanted that fruit. It occurred to me that maybe she would be mad, but at that point, the gift basket was in shreds, although there's lots left from it, of course.
I'm halfway considering hiding it and saying one never showed up. Am I in big trouble? I'm sick from eating all the fruit, too.
Was I an inconsiderate jerk?
Answers: I have a sort-of girlfriend; we have been together many years, but I think it's clear to both of us that we won't be together much longer. We still live together as roommates.
Today she received a gift basket from a friend that lives back east. This friend she grew up with, and though they have little contact anymore, they remember each other at Christmas. This gift basket had high quality fruit in it, and since I am a vegetarian, fruit is an indulgence for me, especially stuff like this. I just tore into the fruit basket and got at the fruit--I didn't stop to think about maybe her wanting to open the basket herself when she gets home from work---I just wanted that fruit. It occurred to me that maybe she would be mad, but at that point, the gift basket was in shreds, although there's lots left from it, of course.
I'm halfway considering hiding it and saying one never showed up. Am I in big trouble? I'm sick from eating all the fruit, too.
Was I an inconsiderate jerk?
Yes, you are, this time, yes you are.
You better show it to her and apologize right away. She will probably be pissed. I would.
Wow, you are a jerk.
Jerk
Yes, you were a jerk! Go to Walmart and get your own fruit.
Let her know that you did it, if you can muster up an honest apology. Either she'll accept the apology, or she wont.
It would be dishonest to let her think that the gift just did NOT appear...
This is also a good sign that you need to live seperately...
yeah.
I think that your best bet would be to rearrange the fruit nicely, clean up the mess you made, and apologize.
I wouldn't say you're a jerk...but that's disrespectful on your part...tell the truth and apologize.
Absolutely you were, but dude...that's funny as hell. Hide it. Don't ask, don't tell! LOL
I wouldn't say you are an inconsiderate jerk but I would say what you did was inconsiderate, but truly not a big deal. Just tell her in less words like you told us. Its better than you tell the truth about something little than to lie about something little. Because we all know little things become big lies over time
Yea it was a jerkish thing to do
But if your sorry and you say it then be done with it
don't hide it though cause that would be far worse
try to make it look a little better though.
Yes you were a jerk but HEY all men have their moments--Just tell her your really sorry go out and buy her lots of fruits AND flowers! keep telling her how sorry you are.
You'd better not hide it you could really ruin a great friendship because you were being a jerk--Just do that right thing! It ALWAYS works out better!
Good Luck
P.S. I'm always more mad if someone lies then if they tell the hurtful truth
Jack,if you're together for many years these little things should be insignificant.If she blows it out of proportion I would see it as an over reaction.
Maybe this is just me but I'm easy going and not petty. And no, you're not a jerk. There are more important things in life to argue about than to sweat the little stuff.(OK now I sound like Dr Phil lol)
that wasn't nice. don't hide it fess up and maybe she'll say thats ok or maybe she'll be royally pissed but if you hide it and her friend says something about it you're gonna get caught and if she was pissed about you getting into the basket you won't believe how pissed she'd be you hiding it from her.
That wasn't all that considerate, but you weren't a jerk either.
Oh gosh and your sick from the fruit that should tell you something. You should have never bothered with her gift that wasn't right, it was hers and not yours, you made a mistake.
Apologize and find some stomach medicene, that's all I can say.
not at all. just tell her it was already ripped open and the fruit was basically falling out already. if she gets upset still... just tell her you were a little hypoglycemic and had to eat. if that doesn't work say 'share bi-ch'
you are asking this question but you clearly know you are an inconsiderate jerk. opening someone's gift is a crappy thing to do- NOW if you were married, that might be one thing- but since you are soon to break up or whatever then she might be annoyed. I doubt it will end her world, but it is a pretty damn sh*tty thing to do. don't hide it- she will wonder where it is, that will make something that they do every year have tension and it is clearly none of your business. just give it to her, tell her you opened it and had some fruit- she may not even care- I know that I wouldn't. But, either way, you are still a d*ck for doing it.
Yeah because you put your needs and wants first and disregarded how she may have felt if she found out. That was her own personal gift to her and I really think you did it out of spite. Reason being because you mentioned your relationship with her and how it is not so hot anymore. Then she got this fruit basket from a friend which irritated you with you not even paying attention. I just wouldn't tell her cause this would probably really make her upset. You shouldn't touch nothing that does not belong to you especially if it is not yours. A lot of things look good to people but we just don't go around taking risk to have it .
Nah, you can only be you, right?
She's the jerk for putting up with you and letting you live off of her.
You've been a glutton for punishment this week... lol
WHOA, YOU BETTER START RUNNING ..hide it for now, and then replace it...boy are you ever asking for some trouble...Jack, what where you thinking..!?!? This situation has disaster written all over it....please know that I will NOT rat you out, or will I answer the phone when she calls..lol... (JACK)
You should tell her the truth, if she finds out herself, she will be much more mad. Tell her the truth she'll be mad for a while, but later, she will forgive you and be happy that you told her the truth. Just tell her the real reason, but don't tell her that you tore into it because you wanted the fruit, maybe bend the truth of the reason, so she doesn't get as mad, Being mad isn't healthy. Just say, that you really wanted to surprise her with her Christmas present, and you were going to bury it deep into the basket, and that you accidently tore the basket up in the process and that you ate some fruit so that there would be room to put your gift, but being a man, you didn't know how to fix the mess up. She'll forgive, but make sure that you buy her a nice gift or make her one.
Yes, you were being an inconsiderate jerk, but we all mess up sometimes. Just fix your mistake and suffer the consequences, tell her that you weren't thinking and you messed up and ask her to forgive you.
Good Luck!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
So, tell me my good friend Jack... At what point did you officially go off the deep end? I've been curious for about a week now...
Well...let me put it this way. If you received a gift from an old friend and your girlfriend went through it without your permission while you were out and took a significant portion of it...how would you feel?
As for what to do, I don't think hiding it is a good idea. She might get offended thinking her friend didn't send something, or if she finds out it did get sent, you're going to get asked some difficult questions.
Put yourself back in her shoes and try to figure out what would have to be done to make it up to you...perhaps you should go out and buy some more fruit or some extra 'I'm sorry' gift.
Good luck!
Better go buy her another one. Are you making it up? I can't really fathom this as being real.
LOL - pure evil, you say? I'd say that if you have been together many years, then what's mine is mine, and what's yours is mine too. NOT the other way around!
Seriously, she might understand, and the fact that you are sick from eating all her fruit might ease the anger she will feel for you for opening her Christmas gift. Then again, she might just make you eat the rest! Just can't stay serious on this one. You'll be fine, though. I am certain that you are very charming, and that will (hopefully) help.
Good luck!
Ah Jack, it's the Festivus season. Have a heart. Get some saran wrap, color it with pretty markers and rewrap what's left of the fruit. She will never know. Let her have one more Festivus in peace with you.