Rate this song i wrote 1-10?!
Question: Penetrating loneliness
and sketching multicolored lines
of truth and lies in black and white
and your caustic lips forced onto mine
teardrop smiles and mourning eyes
hint upon our jagged lives
Somewhere in the dark,
my thoughts are flying alone.
Now is my turn
to realise what is next.
an acid love story
two mangled lives
bittersweet and strawberry wine
opened up and spilled out like your heartbeat
driven up against mine(chorus)
Undying bouts of love and repulsion and death
sit locked within the bleeding heart of your chest
Back and forth retracting faith
and a craving of a crippled show
a brilliant arrayal of lights and sounds and hate
As far as that can go
(chorus) x2
If we all said we'd live forever
If we all cried at the scene
If we all dreamed what we wanted to dream
Look back on all the pieces
Do you remember their true form?
Such lies,
Such mistakes in my heart,
are breaking my thoughts in the dark.
(chorus)x2
My pain is my relief
This fervent hate
Is my belief
Answers: Penetrating loneliness
and sketching multicolored lines
of truth and lies in black and white
and your caustic lips forced onto mine
teardrop smiles and mourning eyes
hint upon our jagged lives
Somewhere in the dark,
my thoughts are flying alone.
Now is my turn
to realise what is next.
an acid love story
two mangled lives
bittersweet and strawberry wine
opened up and spilled out like your heartbeat
driven up against mine(chorus)
Undying bouts of love and repulsion and death
sit locked within the bleeding heart of your chest
Back and forth retracting faith
and a craving of a crippled show
a brilliant arrayal of lights and sounds and hate
As far as that can go
(chorus) x2
If we all said we'd live forever
If we all cried at the scene
If we all dreamed what we wanted to dream
Look back on all the pieces
Do you remember their true form?
Such lies,
Such mistakes in my heart,
are breaking my thoughts in the dark.
(chorus)x2
My pain is my relief
This fervent hate
Is my belief
I think it's wonderful. "teardrop smiles and mourning eyes
hint upon our jagged lives" - Love that line, it's awesome. I think this is very well written, good work! I'd definitely give it at least an 8.5 if not 9.
It's really good, I give it a 9. It's emoooo though.
i love it but i gotta hear the music !
well its better as a poem depending on the beat. i give it a 9 as a poem and a 7 as a song.