Ok, need advise and who better to ask than my fellow p&S....?!
Question: I have been divorced for 3 years, since that time he has had no contact with my kids. (they are 4 and 6) In our custody hearing he told the judge he didn't want to have any visitation, he just wanted to see them somtimes... (yeah i know right?) anyways.. so today I get a random email from him wanting to know what to send the kids for Christmas... he hasn't ever sent them anything for bdays or Christmas ... why start now? Plus how am I supposed to tell the kids that their dad is sending them gifts, but can't pick up the phone to say hello. I thought about just accepting the gifts and putting from Santa... I haven't responded yet.. what do you think?
Answers: I have been divorced for 3 years, since that time he has had no contact with my kids. (they are 4 and 6) In our custody hearing he told the judge he didn't want to have any visitation, he just wanted to see them somtimes... (yeah i know right?) anyways.. so today I get a random email from him wanting to know what to send the kids for Christmas... he hasn't ever sent them anything for bdays or Christmas ... why start now? Plus how am I supposed to tell the kids that their dad is sending them gifts, but can't pick up the phone to say hello. I thought about just accepting the gifts and putting from Santa... I haven't responded yet.. what do you think?
He can't honestly believe that he can just waltz back into their lives after his less than poor performance. But look, maybe he wants to change his ways..you can only hope. He needs to be consistant if he wants to be a part of their lives, 'cause in the end he will do more damage than good.
Well, maybe this is a stepping stone and he wants to get closer to him.. Tell him if he wants to give them gifts, he needs to bring them in person
Maybe he has a change of heart.
Some people take a little longer to grow up.
Me I grow up too fast. Now I'm actting like a kid again.
But most people it takes time.. to live up to what they need too. Talk to him and see.. then think about what is best for the kids...good luck..ask God he will help
let him send the gift put from santa
unless he drop them off himself dont stress it they wont miss someone whos not there and when the time comes and they ask who what when and why
just give them the box of e-mail letter anything that he himself said and let him deal with the issue just love them as you always will.