Funny/Random?!
Question: Funniest Random thing wins 10 points!
:D
Answers: Funniest Random thing wins 10 points!
:D
my brother just ran i the room screaming moooooooshhhhhhhoooooo
CARROTS!!!
puppy spit.
land shark
I'm thinking about monkeys and now you are too.
No way jose... but my name is carlos!
i love donuts and joe jonas :-)
i like sheep
You can't lick your elbow. Top scientists have proved it. Try for yourself.
pig foot prints on the wall ate my piece of pizza!
█65 Ways To Be Annoying█
Demand that everyone address you as "Conquistador".
Push all the flat Lego pieces together tightly.
At the laundromat, use one dryer for each of your socks.
When Christmas carolling, sing "Jingle Bells, Batman smells" until physically restrained.
Wear a cape that says "Magnificent One".
As much as possible, skip rather than walk.
Stand over someone's shoulder, mumbling, as they read.
Finish the 99 green bottles song.
Sing the "This is the song that never ends..." song.
Leave your indicator (turn signal) on for fifty miles.
Pretend your mouse is a CB radio, and talk to it.
Try playing the William Tell Overture by tapping on the bottom of your chin. When nearly done, announce "no, wait, I messed it up", and repeat.
Name your dog "Dog".
Inform others that they exist only in your imagination.
Ask people what gender they are.
Reply to everything someone says with "that's what YOU think."
Cultivate a Norwegian accent. If Norwegian, affect a Southern Drawl.
Forget the punchline to a long joke, but assure the listener it was a "good one".
Routinely handcuff yourself to furniture, informing the curious that you don't want to fall off "in case the big one comes".
Follow a few paces behind someone, spraying everything they touch with a can of Glade Air Freshener.
Deliberately hum songs that will remain lodged in co-workers' brains.
While making presentations, occasionally bob your head like a parakeet.
Lie obviously about trivial things such as the time of day.
Make beeping noises when a large person backs up.
Leave your Christmas lights up and lit until September.
Change your name to John Aaaaasmith for the great glory of being first in the phone book. Claim it's a Hawaiian name, and demand that people pronounce each A.
Sit in your front yard pointing a hair dryer at passing cars to see if they slow down.
Invent nonsense computer jargon in conversations, and see if people play along to avoid the appearance of ignorance.
Wear a LOT of cologne.
Ask to "interface" with someone.
Listen to 33rpm records at 45rpm speed, and claim the faster speed is necessary because of your "superior mental processing".
Sing along at the opera.
Mow your lawn with scissors.
At a golf tournament, chant "swing-batatatatatata-
suhWING-batter!"
Finish all your sentences with the words "in accordance with prophesy".
Ask the waitress for an extra seat for your "imaginary friend".
Go to a poetry recital and ask why each poem doesn't rhyme.
Ask your co-workers mysterious questions, and scribble their answers in a notebook. Mutter something about "psychological profiles".
Incessantly recite annoying phrases, such as "sticky wicket isn't cricket." Hmmm Geoff Boycott?
Stare at static on the tv and claim you can see a "magic picture".
Select the same song on the jukebox fifty times.
Scuff your feet on a dry, shaggy carpet and seek out victims.
Do not add any inflection to the end of your sentences, producing awkward silences with the impression that you'll be saying more any moment.
Never make eye contact.
Never break eye contact.
Signal that a conversation is over by clamping your hands over your ears.
Construct elaborate "crop circles" in your front lawn.
Construct your own pretend "tricorder", and "scan" people with it, announcing the results.
Give a play-by-play account of a person's every action in an annoying John Motson or Jimmy Hill voice.
Holler random numbers while someone is counting.
Make appointments for the 30th of February.
Invite lots of people to other people's parties.
Specify that your drive-through order is "to go."
Reply to everything someone says with "that's what YOU think."
Highlight irrelevant information in scientific papers and "cc." them to your boss.
Signal that a conversation is over by clamping your hands over your ears.
Disassemble your pen and "accidentally" flip the ink cartridge across the room.
Adjust the background color on your email so that all your email correspondence is in green, and insist to others that you "like it that way."
Staple papers in the middle of the page.
Honk and wave to strangers. Call them by random names such as Bob.
Decline to be seated at a restaurant, and simply eat their complimentary mints by the cash register.
TYPE ONLY IN UPPERCASE..
type only in lowercase.
dont use any punctuation either
Send fifty copies of this list to everyone you know.
gottapeegottapeegottapeegottapeegottapee...
hey baby ;-).... sooo.... how much?
totally kidding
i want your dog
Squrmy wormy......squrmy wormy.....
AAAAAAGH your hair is hurting my ears, please pour diet coke over my dog to ease the pain
*** sucking lolly pop!!!!!!lol
"teachers try to teach us stuff we don't even know".
Jiggly wallets make for fantastic watches
BUT NOT ON MY WATCH
I'll smack a wallrus twice, you see?
I'll take ya mother out for brunch but toss her off my moped
Man I take a penut butter sandwich and deliver it to your former best friend of your unreliable dentist
SHAAAAAA!!!!! YEAH BOi!!!!!!!!!!!
article about signs of obesity stuck to the fridge door with tons of pizza place magnets
I banged mt head on the door today,I was so tired and sleepy as it was 1st thing in the morning lol,it didn't hurt to much though.
Also I just ate some grapes.
hippo flubber
- Free the oppressed toasters of America
- Weave a tablecloth out of copper tubing
- Give your cat a suntan...in the microwave
- Park your car...with a friend
- Park your car...with a group of friends
- Frame your first statement of bankruptcy
- Place it on the wall of your office
- Solve the population problem (x^2 + y^2 = population...solve for x)
- Contribute to the population problem
- Wear a T-shirt that says "I'll walk on you to see The Who" and a peace sign
- Practice the Aztec method of heart removal on your professor
- Find out who made the super glue commercials and give them your Ginsu knife
- Get Ronco and K-tel to merge...they sell the same stuff anyway
- Sneak into a nuclear physics lab and stay the night
- Play with anything that looks interesting
- Drop piston engines on two people and see who squishes first
- See if your goldfish can live in Coors rather than water
- Try to ignite water...the Mississippi might work
- Draw Venn diagrams...screw them up
- State fallacies as fact (like, "peanuts grow on bushes")
- Visit the Architecture building...loudly criticize its design
- Make a schematic drawing...of a rock
- Wallpaper your laundry room...with pages from books you don't like
- See if diamonds really do cut glass...on everything in your neighbor's house
- Tenderize your tongue...chew on it for a while
- See how long you can stare at a fluorescent light...try green
- Bronze your sister's turtle
- See how long it takes for her to notice
- See what she does when she notices
- Bronze your sister- If you lose, stop watering it and try again.
- Increase your territorial holdings by force
- Find out how many ways there really are to skin a cat
- Boldly go where no man has gone before
- Be a threat to the American way of life
- Do research into the cause of World War III
- Be a threat to the Northwestern Tibetan way of life
- Re-establish the Roman Empire...in Pittsburgh
There are three types of mining. These include: strip mines, open pit, and shaft mines.
Hahah, I'm doing science homework =]
Omg! people are like telling me that im bi-polar & im all like WTF>
How dare you tell me that im your best friend when we dont even hang out
than this weekend this guy i dont even talk 2 was like texting me & wanted 2 hookup
geesh!!!!!1
OmFG!
thanksgiving is coming up!
Show me potato salad
have you ever been sitting there and like food finds its way from a tooth into your mouth, and it was something you didnt eat that day?
Boy-I love you
Girl - I don't love you
Boy-Think & say
Girl -Sure, I don't love you
Boy - Waiter, get the bill for me alone..
Girl - I love you.. I love you ???!!!!???? ^_^
i am the silky blanket!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Signs your cat is about to kill you:
Seems mighty chummy with the dog all of a sudden.
He actually *does* have your tongue.
You find a stash of "Feline of Fortune" magazines behind the couch.
Cyanide pawprints all over the house.
You wake up to find a bird's head in your bed.
As the wind blows over the grassy knoll in downtown Dallas, you get a faint whiff of catnip.
Droppings in litter box spell out "REDRUM."
Catch him with a new mohawk looking in the mirror saying, "Mew looking at me? Mew looking at me?"
Takes attentive notes every time "Itchy and Scratchy" are on.
You find blueprints for a Rube Goldgerg device that starts with a mouse chased into a hole and ends with flaming oil dumped on your bed.
Has taken a sudden interest in the wood chipper.
Instead of dead birds, leaves cartons of Marlboros on your doorstep.
Ball of yarn playfully tied into a hangman's noose.
You find a piece of paper labelled "MY WIL" which says "LEEV AWL 2 KAT."
Now sharpens claws on your car's brake lines.
If you pick your *** and then sniff your fingers, it smells like ****