Things you just don't say 2 a police officer?!
Question: 10points to the best answer!
Example: Hi officer,Please ignore the guy tied up in the back seat, he's just hitching a ride!
Get the Idea? Good!
Answers: 10points to the best answer!
Example: Hi officer,Please ignore the guy tied up in the back seat, he's just hitching a ride!
Get the Idea? Good!
I was speeding, officer, because this cocaine needs to be delivered by noon
not drunk i am
Howdy officer.....care for some blow?.....its mighty delicious
"Please don't check in the trunk" and "I'll give you 2 thousand dollars not to take my license"!!!
"Is that a gun in your pocket, or are you just happy to see me?"
Haha, that would obviously only work for a male cop.
I smell bacon
Will ya hold my beer while I do this sobriety test
''i can see your tiny, shrunken head, labelled and resting on a shelf somewhere in the near future.''
Too bad you couldn't make it to the University...
Let me just set this beer down & we'll chat..... or, I wanted to be a cop but my SATs were too high
"would twenty bucks make this speeding ticket go away?"
Don't Taz me Bro!
"Hey porkchop, how's it going?"
oh hey officer, is that a glock your carrying,I once owned a glock funny story I knew this guy who owed me money cause i sold him some meth, but he never payed me back so i beat him with my gun, then shot him, hahahaha oh memories
"So what do speeding tickets pay for: dough nuts?"
Or maybe even
"How many dough nuts have you eaten today chubby."
-if a cop says, your eyes look bloodshot. have you been drinking?
DO NOT reply with : your eyes look glazed, have you been eating donuts?
-when cop walks up. oh no. the body fell out of the trunk, didnt it?
-if hes writing a ticket: i betcha 20 bucks i can get your gun out of its holster before your done writing that ticket.
-wow you musta been doing like 120 to keep up with me!
-oink oink oink. i smell BACON!!!
- hey porkchop, whats shakin?
-um...look if this is about the whole kidnapping thing....it wasnt me!
- hey bro, ya wanna beer before you go?
-cop: alright, ill let you off with a warning this time.
you: oh really? Thanks! thats what the last four guys did too!
-so....can i shoot your gun? come on pleeeeeaaaase? can i? can i?
Bribe him with a chocolate gun, but you have to run up to him really fast with it.
...or say: "I'll give you two seconds to get that goddamn flashlight out of my face before I take it away and beat you with it."
hey....... i just came from your house.......lol
I'm not speeding ! You were the one who is driving too slow !
Will you hold my joint? I have to look through the body parts in my trunk to find the walkie-talkie, and tell my buddies to keep the pipe bombs on the down-low.
"wat licsence?" "wat the problem is officer?"(i gess thats not bad, but its funy!) "dude this corona is the best, want a sip?"
Want me to cuff you & throw you in my trunk for fun
Glad you pulled me over officer. Would you like a sip of my beer?
can u hold my weed while i find my fake id
I didn't know this p.o.s. could go that fast!
I actually said this to a cop one time. Surprisingly, I still got ticketed.
"Officer! I swear I wasn't drinking!( slurring)
Hey! And whatever you do,Don't look in the back seat!(10 empty bottles of tequila in the back)
or...
"Hey, Officer! Do you have anything to drink?
or...
"Yo Officer! Can you hold my beer? I can't reach my license."
Aren't these like hilarious!
u wanna see my license ? isnt it on the back bumper
Don't say "Ocifer, can you hold my beer?" when he asks you for your license/registration.
Or, "I thought you had to be in good physical shape to be a police officer!"
Or, "My eyes are glazed because I've been drinking? Well, you must have been eating doughnuts!"
Or, "I was going 80 in a 65? Well, you must have been going at least 85 or 90 to catch up with me!"
"You didn't see that a$$hole that just ran the red light?"
"You didn't use YOUR turn signal when you crossed five lanes to pull me over..."
"How am I supposed to know my tail light is out? I can't see back there!"
"I'm not as think as you drunk I am!"
good evening officer, can you buy some pot.