Am I being unreasonable?!
Question:
Am I being unreasonable?
The person we're renting a room to in my house told me that a represenative from a security company told him that my husband and I invited them to come and look at how secure our home is...So this person let him come into the house and look around, even though we weren't home and we never told them they could come over.
I got upset over this and told him that was really dangerous, anyone can fake a business card and come over.....
He told me to calm down and get over it.
Was I unreasonable to get upset that he let a total stranger look around our home?
Answers: Both of you are partly right :)
The tenant thought the person had permission. In hindsight, it would have been better if the tenant put the person off: "You should get in touch with the owners and visit when they're home". But OK, the tenant didn't think of that at the time.
Now the tenant is telling you to "get over it." That's rude.
The bigger problem is that your home may have been "cased" - a burglar has examined it to see how to get in. The person lied to get entry, saying that he had your permission. It's true a salesperson might lie to get in, but they can't make a sale to the tenant - so it sounds like a burglar. So now you have to take action to prevent your home from being broken into. Ask your police department for suggestions. nope nope-not these days you aren't.. call the cops they just want to still stuff No you live there and it is your house. YOu might need to write up a new lease to include something like this. Not at all. HOW COME NOBODY ANSWEREDD MY QUESTRTIONS CAN SOMRONE CLICK MY NAME AND ANSWER EM PLEASE I think that you should say the room is no longer for rent when his lease is up. And get out of the room for rent business. it's your place so you have every right to be angry. You might want to make sure he clears it with you first. No I'd be extremely upset if some stranger got to look around at my home without my knowing about it first. You are right to be concerned about fake business cards. I don't think you are over reacting. There is nothing you can do about it now but he probably knows he's been an idiot. Make sure he knows that he cannot do that again. its YOUR house. you own it, and it is your property.
he is only STAYING in your house. just because he pays money each month to live at YOUR house does not mean that he can treat it like he owns the place.
besides, if you, THE OWNERS, werent home, he should have know better then to let random guests come in. It's his house so he can do it. But if he showed your room, then it's unreasonable in his part. NO - YOU HAD EVERY REASON to react the way you did.....he had no right to do that. That COULD have been dangerous... no way... and I would do some things to make your house more secure now... such as putting nails over the windows so they can't be opened very much, changing locks, or possibly putting a chain lock on... people are crazy and everyone is a suspect.... ; ) What difference does it make what the forum thinks? The only one that it matters to is you and your husband.
Sounds like you didn't do a very good job picking out a roommate and maybe you ought to let him go. Next time make it clearer what boundaries are.
I don't think you're unreasonable to be upset about having a total stranger in the house, however you rented to a total stranger and that's the caveat. You were right to be upset but not with him unless you specifically told him that you invited no one to come and look at your house. If so be mad, real mad.
Tell the poor guy to use common sense! Not unreasonable at all. In this day and age he could have his buddies casing the joint under the guise of a security company. Secure? HA HA guess not! You weren't unreasonable at all! With all the freaks floating around these days you can't be too careful. No you're not. The "security company representative" should have had proof that he could enter, and your roomate should have told him to come back later. No you are not being unreasonable. This is your house and you need to feel safe in your own home. No one should ever invite anyone in any ones home without checking with them first. Time to set down some rules and also I would let him no that you deserve some respect and it is a privilege to rent from you no one should talk to you like that. This is the type of thing that needs to be communicated about BEFORE it happens
so yes you should be upset if it went against your values
BUT
you should also be upset at yourself that you neglected to make the values of the homeowners perfectly clear to one you allowed to be a boarder
I have erred on the opposite side
homeowners were having the house reappraised
I was house sitting
I didnt want to let anyone I didnt personally know into the house cause I didnt want to be responsible
it cost then funds for the appraisers wasted time and delayed the reappraisal
it was their fault not mine! - all they did was drop the key off in my mailbox and ask me to spend those nights at their house
I thought they were just allowing me to use the hot tub and gym You have every right to be upset and consider asking the
renter to leave at the end of the month and change the locks! Definately. If you were aware of the security company, but had told them specifically not to come into your home, and they did it anyway, albeit through the bungling of your renter,
then you can do two things. Call the Security company and complain in the strongest terms, not cursing, just strong terms. Re-explain to the Sec. Comp. that you never gave them permission to enter your home, let alone wander around inside unsupervised.
If you didn't know a thing about any Security company at all, no idea who they were at all, then get on the phone and call the police because your home was just cased. You can expect a break in sometime soon. Notify the police so they can be extra vigilant and show a presense in the neighborhood.
Then do yourself a favor...evict the idiot you are renting to. No I think you were in the right in this issue. Its a respect issue. Its your home and you have the right to that privacy that comes with a home. This other person is a guest and should ask before having anybody come over and I mean even freinds of his/hers. I agree with you on this. Even this persons freinds could easily come in and steal. In fact thats how it usually happens they get in and see what you have then they break in later that way they already know where everything and are more likely to not run into any surprises. Stick to your guns on this issue. You are right and if they dont like your decision they should find a place of their own to stay. No, you are certainly not unreasonable. That's scary, with all you hear about happening these days. Do you have a business card from him? I guess if you do, you have already tried to call and see if it's a legitimate number. If you find out he has mis-represented himself report it to the police.