What's the biggest piece of non-news you read in the paper today?!

What's the biggest piece of non-news you read in the paper today?

I don't know how things are where you live, but around here in summer nothing seems to happen, so they need non news to fill the papers. Biggest piece today: some big party went by without any problems or incidents. Yeah. Thanks for that :-)

3 days ago
I am Dutch, but Ikea is not. But okay.

There is a dog in my paper who does not have hind legs so his owner made him some wheels, then he made him some skis for when it snows and he puts an arm band around his waist and he can go swimming. There are loads of cute pictures of this dog swimming, skiing etc. It was quite sweet but I don't think it counts as news.