What do you think of these words(poem/song)?!
Question: What do you think of these words(poem/song)!?
its kinda a poem i wrote it about an hour ago i have a little more i need to write im gonna turn it into a song
Theres somethings you can't
tell anyone becuase you know
they won't understand!.
And nobody cares about anybody,
trying to make impressions but no
one really cares!.
To see something differently than
what you see
you want to feel something different
but just keep waiting
fed up with your own self but
cant seem to get enough
looking at whats on the outside
and never cares to look at whats on
the inside!.
kid your troubles are the least
of what someone else is worrying
about!.
I don't want to feel like you do
in a world of me where i am blind
and cannot see!. full with mirrors of
hate and looking back at every step i take!.!.
please don't copy
and tell me what you think
im not quite done its just a rough draft
like i said i wrote it about an hour agoWww@Enter-QA@Com
Theres somethings you can't
tell anyone becuase you know
they won't understand!.
And nobody cares about anybody,
trying to make impressions but no
one really cares!.
To see something differently than
what you see
you want to feel something different
but just keep waiting
fed up with your own self but
cant seem to get enough
looking at whats on the outside
and never cares to look at whats on
the inside!.
kid your troubles are the least
of what someone else is worrying
about!.
I don't want to feel like you do
in a world of me where i am blind
and cannot see!. full with mirrors of
hate and looking back at every step i take!.!.
please don't copy
and tell me what you think
im not quite done its just a rough draft
like i said i wrote it about an hour agoWww@Enter-QA@Com
Answers:
I think it's really good! I can't believe you made this!
There are some rough spots, like the 2nd verse!. I don't really like how you repeat nobody two times in that sentence, but other then that, everything looks really good! Like you said, it is just a rough draft, so you can change the shaky parts!.
My favorite verse is the last one!. Clever!
Keep writing! You'll have a good future!.
Thanks,
Devanie!.Www@Enter-QA@Com
There are some rough spots, like the 2nd verse!. I don't really like how you repeat nobody two times in that sentence, but other then that, everything looks really good! Like you said, it is just a rough draft, so you can change the shaky parts!.
My favorite verse is the last one!. Clever!
Keep writing! You'll have a good future!.
Thanks,
Devanie!.Www@Enter-QA@Com