Someone want to criticize these lyrics?!


Question: Someone want to criticize these lyrics!?
Catch me alone,
I'll be invisible,
I'm so alone,
I'm indivisible,

break me in half,
and leave me broken here,
my will and soul,
you take it so sincere,

You've taken everything, everything from me,
(ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh)
now it's time, time for me to leave,
(whoa ohhhhhhhhhhhh)
I hate it, hate it when I whine,
(ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh)
why does everything have to be so hard,
(whoa ohhhhhhhhhhhh)

exquisite lies,
they're done so beautifully,
keep me in sight,
it's all done legally,

It takes so long,
to forsake everything,
hope you die young,
just made a punk of me,

You've taken everything, everything from me,
(ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh)
now it's time, time for me to leave,
(whoa ohhhhhhhhhhhh)
I hate it, hate it when I whine,
(ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh)
why does everything have to be so hard,
(whoa ohhhhhhhhhhhh)

take me apart,
take me piece by piece,
throw me away,
I will not be alone,

why do I,
do more than is for sure,
myself and I
the complicated cure,

You've taken everything, everything from me,
(ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh)
now it's time, time for me to leave,
(whoa ohhhhhhhhhhhh)
I hate it, hate it when I whine,
(ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh)
why does everything have to be so hard,
(whoa ohhhhhhhhhhhh)

what would you expect,
from one you kicked aside,
what would you expect,
from one you left behind,

You've taken everything, everything from me,
(ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh)
now it's time, time for me to leave,
(whoa ohhhhhhhhhhhh)
I hate it, hate it when I whine,
(ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh)
why does everything have to be so hard,
(whoa ohhhhhhhhhhhh)
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Answers:
They are decent I think the chorus comes up too many times!. You may want to take one of the last ones out and maybe do like a repeat chorus or maybe even just repeat the last line "why does everything have to be so hard" a few times!. Good luck!.Www@Enter-QA@Com

re-do, and keep editing
youve got a good basis
now just nit pick at it
a beautiful song will come out soon enoughWww@Enter-QA@Com

emo alertWww@Enter-QA@Com

if youre indivisible, how can you be broken in half!?Www@Enter-QA@Com

the song has no meaning and i hate such songs next time do select a theme[:P]Www@Enter-QA@Com



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