How can I improve my song?!
Question: How can I improve my song!?
All of this drama, none of it important
Why is everyone so incompetent!?
God I don't even know what that word means!.!.!.
Would you!.!.!.
Eat a piece of ****
If it got you a boyfriend!?
Shave your head
If got rid of aggravation!?
Oh what people will do
Would you!.!.!.!.
Break your own leg
If it got you to college!?
Make out with a monkey,
If it got your diploma!?
Oh what people will do!.!.!.
Thus is life, full of materials
You must have, or you're delirious
God, people are so completely crazy!.!.!.
Would you!.!.!.
Kill a random person
If you got paid!?
Become a prostitute
If it made you rich!?
Oh what people will do!.!.!.
Get on the other side of the rainbow
But remember you won't find gold
Instead you'll see something just a little bit better
Happiness!.!.!.!.
People stress and whine, over the silliest things
Looks, love, life, books, anything they can find
Seems people think, if they're not stressing
There's something wrong with their lives!.Www@Enter-QA@Com
Why is everyone so incompetent!?
God I don't even know what that word means!.!.!.
Would you!.!.!.
Eat a piece of ****
If it got you a boyfriend!?
Shave your head
If got rid of aggravation!?
Oh what people will do
Would you!.!.!.!.
Break your own leg
If it got you to college!?
Make out with a monkey,
If it got your diploma!?
Oh what people will do!.!.!.
Thus is life, full of materials
You must have, or you're delirious
God, people are so completely crazy!.!.!.
Would you!.!.!.
Kill a random person
If you got paid!?
Become a prostitute
If it made you rich!?
Oh what people will do!.!.!.
Get on the other side of the rainbow
But remember you won't find gold
Instead you'll see something just a little bit better
Happiness!.!.!.!.
People stress and whine, over the silliest things
Looks, love, life, books, anything they can find
Seems people think, if they're not stressing
There's something wrong with their lives!.Www@Enter-QA@Com
Answers:
No rhyming!. No scansion, ie, no consistent syllable counts!. That, especially, makes the lyrics particularly unwieldy in terms of putting them to a song!.
A song that starts off with "would you each a piece of poo" isn't exactly a winner in my book, just because there's ways to say even that without having to be so crass!.
The song is comprised of you saying "would you do x to get y!?" then lamenting how messed up people are!. That's nice and everything, but there's no connection between the two!. And I don't get why making out with a monkey would get me a diploma!.!.!. some of this stuff just doesn't make any sense!. Why would this stuff happen!? Who would offer it!? Why would they offer it!?
Some people do become prostitutes to get rich!. Sure!. I've shaved my head to get rid of aggravation (yes, I have a shaved head, it works for me)!. But I can't say I know anyone who's eaten poo and gotten a partner because of it!.
So the meaning here is inconsistent!. If you're going to say "gee, what people will do!.!.!." then you had better sing about the things that people *do*, not the things that some fictional person would offer them!. I mean, I'd take someone out if it meant saving my daughter's life, but I wouldn't do it just for money!. And if you don't understand that, then you aren't a parent!.
SaulWww@Enter-QA@Com
A song that starts off with "would you each a piece of poo" isn't exactly a winner in my book, just because there's ways to say even that without having to be so crass!.
The song is comprised of you saying "would you do x to get y!?" then lamenting how messed up people are!. That's nice and everything, but there's no connection between the two!. And I don't get why making out with a monkey would get me a diploma!.!.!. some of this stuff just doesn't make any sense!. Why would this stuff happen!? Who would offer it!? Why would they offer it!?
Some people do become prostitutes to get rich!. Sure!. I've shaved my head to get rid of aggravation (yes, I have a shaved head, it works for me)!. But I can't say I know anyone who's eaten poo and gotten a partner because of it!.
So the meaning here is inconsistent!. If you're going to say "gee, what people will do!.!.!." then you had better sing about the things that people *do*, not the things that some fictional person would offer them!. I mean, I'd take someone out if it meant saving my daughter's life, but I wouldn't do it just for money!. And if you don't understand that, then you aren't a parent!.
SaulWww@Enter-QA@Com
i don't think it needs changing if it is a rock song or hardcore!. those two would be really good for this song!. if anyother types i would thing it was a little to strongly worded!. That is mine opinion and you don't have to follow it!. Www@Enter-QA@Com
I think your song is very unique!.
I like it :PWww@Enter-QA@Com
I like it :PWww@Enter-QA@Com