Can any1 help editing my rap song please? ?!


Question: Can any1 help editing my rap song please!? !?
im making this rap song for this girl ( best friends, but i liked her and i think she knows ) thats moving away!.!.!.
Can you help put it in like a song form please!?
Or give good advice, or organize it
PLz dont steal my song

Heres the song:


My best friend is leaving me
We couldnt even spend time around the christmas tree
All those fun times, and looking so fine
just stays in my mind like a bunny in the sky

i dont want you to be a memory
i want you to be here with me

Looking back at all those fights
i know it wasnt right
i know sorry doesnt help it
but ill be there to fix it


When theres a tear on my face its always about you and your suitcase

you jsut cant just leave me

Your random
your smart your fun
your my shining sun
your unique
your the one that makes my wek
your great at singing
your great at acting

ill see you alone
and ill hear you in your beautiful tone

when i see you down
just makes me wanna frown

Looking in your eyes
is just fking sweet as pie

thx in advance



Www@Enter-QA@Com


Answers:
These tips will make this a rap, but the wayyou originally had it, it was an alright poem!.

("Bars" are individual lines)


(Extend this bar) My best friend is leaving me
We couldnt even spend time around the christmas tree
All those fun times, and looking so fine
just stays in my mind like a bunny in the sky

i dont want you to be a memory I want you to be here with me
(Need another bar to go with that one, rhyme "with me")

Looking back at all those fights i know it wasnt right
(Insert bar) (rhyme something with "right")
i know sorry doesnt help it but ill be there to fix it
(Insert bar) (rhyme something with "fix it")


When theres a tear on my face its always about you and your suitcase
(Insert bar) (rhyme "suitcase")

you cant just leave me (maybe repeat this line!?)

You're random you're smart your fun
you're unique you're my shining sun

your the one that makes my weak
(Insert bar) (rhyme "weak")
your great at singing your great at acting
(Insert bar) (rhyme "acting")

ill see you alone and ill hear you in your beautiful tone
(Insert bar) (rhyme "tone")

when i see you down just makes me wanna frown
(Insert bar) (rhyme "frown")

Looking in your eyes is just fking sweet as pie
(Insert bar) (rhyme "pie")

Www@Enter-QA@Com

just stays in my mind like a bunny in the sky

instead say this

just stays in my mind like money thrown away to the sky

then add mroe to the ending

ur fing sweet as pie!.
>>>>>>
u last in my mind til the day i die!.
RIP our memorys in this nehibohrood!.
baby u make me smile when u laugh!.
i cry when u did that stupid thing that defind our frienship!.
baby ur my sugar and pie u makieng me wanan die!.


this is all i culd add u might wanan take the thing b4 sugar and pie out !

ur welcom i really like what u wrote here man i wanan use this in my dude next song !if u dont mind i will use it since i have a part he wants me to do and i need a guud 45 sec part added 1

Www@Enter-QA@Com



The answer content post by the user, if contains the copyright content please contact us, we will immediately remove it.
Copyright © 2007 enter-qa.com -   Contact us

Entertainment Categories