Please help, I wrote a song for my boyfriend and I need to know if it's good!


Question: Please help, I wrote a song for my boyfriend and I need to know if it's good!.!?
PLEASE!!! I need help with this song- can you tell me how to improve it!? Or if you think it is good, tell me why!? I really need some specifics!. Here is a little about it:

I left for college this year, and I've been away for two months!. This song is written for my boyfriend, but it is really about me, our relationship, waiting, and a little of how other people are dealing with leaving too!. I've already created the music for it which is slow and melodic, yet rather dramatic piano!. My boyfriend really likes classic rock, so in a way I mimicked it off of a classic rock ballad (or I tried, how can you possibly keep up with brilliant minds like those of the Beatles/Doors/ect!?!!? Anyway!. Criticism!? Suggestions!? Any useful comments I'd love!. How can I change it to make it better!? I'd give more details on what the song is about specifically, but I'd like to see if you can pick that up from the lyrics!. Thanks!

Leaves, pulling on the tree, are yearning to be free
looked past what they had, wanting just to change it
Jumping from the nest, took off with the rest
soon found that they missed what was there behind them

And though they're on their own, the tenderness they'll miss,
the love and comfort- bliss
The ones who said they loved them

A melting block of stone she faces “the unknown” (“all alone”!?)
trying hard to keep herself together!.
Never does it crack, her face a perfect mask
telling those she loves, it's easy!.

And though she's on her own,
the person she does miss,
the love, the comfort-- bliss,
the one who said he loved her!.

A fish that swims upstream, may seem kinda dumb,
but he knows that she'll come home- it's worth it
To go against the grain, may seem rather strange,
but if it brings (gives!?) you love, they’re worth it!.

And though I seem on my own, you know that I miss home,
the person that I kiss, the one I tell "I love you"!.


Specific questions:

Any ideas for something in place of 'kinda dumb'!? It doesn't seem to fit with the rest of the song!.
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Answers:
This song is beautiful!. I read it like three times and it brought up so many memories!. You are really good at using symbolism to express events that have happened in your past!. Anyway!.!.!.!.this is a really good song!.
Here's what i would have written for the second to last stanza:

A fish that swims upstream, may seem rather vain
But he knows that she'll come home-- it's worth it
To go against the grain, may seen rather strange,
But if it brings you love--it's worth it!.

The reason I would use "rather vain" is because it still means the same as "kinda dumb", and it rhymes with the 3rd line!.!.

I hope this helps!.!.!. Www@Enter-QA@Com

Leaves, pulling on the tree, are yearning to be free
looking past what they had, wanting just to change it
Jumping from the nest taking off with the rest
soon found that they missed what was there behind them

And though they're on their own, the tenderness they'll miss,
the love, the comfort- and the bliss
The ones who said they loved them

A melting block of stone she faces “the unknown”
trying hard to keep herself together!.
Never does it crack, her face a perfect mask
telling those she loves, it's easy!.

And though she's on her own,
the person she does miss,
the love, the comfort-and the bliss,
the one who said he loved her!.

A fish that swims upstream, may seem wild,
but he knows that she'll come home- it's worth it
To go against the grain, may seem rather strange,
but if it gives you love, they’re worth it!.

And though I seem on my own, you know that I miss home,
the person that I kiss, the one I tell "I love you"!.Www@Enter-QA@Com

I'm not going to criticize anything about it!. It's nice, and it's from you which is genuine!. And that's never a bad thing!. A simple and fitting change to kinda dumb that stays with your theme and also rhymes could be!.!.!."A fish that swims upstream, may seem lost in a dream"
Good luck!Www@Enter-QA@Com



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