Do you like the Poem i wrote? [honest opinions]?!
Question: Do you like the Poem i wrote!? [honest opinions]!?
its for my boyfriend!.!.!.
you make me laugh, you make me smile
it makes me want to stay a while
the things you do, the things you say
help me make it through the day
my life without you would be nothing,
at this point you've become my air
something i could not live without
youre amazing, i have no doubt
more than anyone youre on my mind
i think about you all the time
if only you could see
exactly what you mean to me
you'd never have your doubts for
you'd know im forever yours
no guys will ever compare to you
because you're my dream come true
with everything you make me feel
i know for a fact that this is real
i want you more than anyone
if i were a plant then you'd be the sun
i know that love is just a word and we are young
but this dream we share has just begun
i love you, always and forever
nor will i stop not now, not ever!.
too cheesy!? too lame!? too horribly written!? any suggestions!?
opinions!? aha im nervous obviously :PWww@Enter-QA@Com
you make me laugh, you make me smile
it makes me want to stay a while
the things you do, the things you say
help me make it through the day
my life without you would be nothing,
at this point you've become my air
something i could not live without
youre amazing, i have no doubt
more than anyone youre on my mind
i think about you all the time
if only you could see
exactly what you mean to me
you'd never have your doubts for
you'd know im forever yours
no guys will ever compare to you
because you're my dream come true
with everything you make me feel
i know for a fact that this is real
i want you more than anyone
if i were a plant then you'd be the sun
i know that love is just a word and we are young
but this dream we share has just begun
i love you, always and forever
nor will i stop not now, not ever!.
too cheesy!? too lame!? too horribly written!? any suggestions!?
opinions!? aha im nervous obviously :PWww@Enter-QA@Com
Answers:
i like the words they are really good but i dont like how the rhyming happens in random places but if it isnt for school and you think your bf wont care then i think it's perfect!:)Www@Enter-QA@Com
I personally think its really good!!!! Um!.!.!.some of the lines made me feel kind of iffy but you had some really interesing and neat lines like
if i were a plant then you'd be the sun
i know that love is just a word and we are young
but this dream we share has just begun
i loved it!!!! you should also start writing songs with your poems!. really really good keep writing!!Www@Enter-QA@Com
if i were a plant then you'd be the sun
i know that love is just a word and we are young
but this dream we share has just begun
i loved it!!!! you should also start writing songs with your poems!. really really good keep writing!!Www@Enter-QA@Com
I've recently started writing poetry and I like what you've written!. It's not without it's flaws, of course, but in things like this the meaning and emotion can shine through!.
PRO TIP: Well, not quite!. Still, the rhyme scheme you used there is
A
A
B
B
Where each consecutive line rhymes!. This is good to begin with, but for a more serious style of poetry, a
A
B
A
B
Where every other line rhymes!.Style is much better suited to a more serious poem!. I might write something to show this, but till now, take my word on it!.
also, some great language in there 'if i were a plant then you'd be the sun' is a great line!. Awesome stuff!.
And please, KEEP writing! There's great emotion in there and you clearly have potential!.Www@Enter-QA@Com
PRO TIP: Well, not quite!. Still, the rhyme scheme you used there is
A
A
B
B
Where each consecutive line rhymes!. This is good to begin with, but for a more serious style of poetry, a
A
B
A
B
Where every other line rhymes!.Style is much better suited to a more serious poem!. I might write something to show this, but till now, take my word on it!.
also, some great language in there 'if i were a plant then you'd be the sun' is a great line!. Awesome stuff!.
And please, KEEP writing! There's great emotion in there and you clearly have potential!.Www@Enter-QA@Com