DO YOU LIKE THESE LYRICS I MADE?!


Question: DO YOU LIKE THESE LYRICS I MADE!?
mother can you hear this!?
I know the clouds are thick
and I know you might not understand!.
but the world is turning under,
dads having a fit,
greg said he wish he was dead!.

your always the one who made me strong
helped where I was too belong
why did you have to go!?

your always the one who made me strong
helped where I had belonged
can you help me so!?

mother…!.!.

liah ran away now
she got pregnant too
and dad says shes not coming back!.

when you were here with me and them,
helping us through everything
everything felt so easy…!.

your always the one who made me strong
helped where I was too belong
why did you have to go!?

your always the one who made me strong
helped where I had belonged
can you help me so!?

but… why did you have to go!?

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its about a girl whos praying for her mommy up in heaven to help her family that is falling apart!.Www@Enter-QA@Com


Answers:
Almost made me cry!.
I think they're pretty good!.
If it's about you, I'm so sorry!.=[

God bless you and your family!. =]Www@Enter-QA@Com

Don,t listen to the negative answers here , this is great , what you did was try to make someone feel the story , and I felt it , I even choked up ah little , instantly I had ah tune in my head , I got stuck with the words ah couple places , i used , ah , don,t know how to say it , I added ah line extra and changed ah couple words , its great , copy write soon , and keep on writing , Www@Enter-QA@Com

It's got potential!.!.!.

Try to get some more rhyming in it and similar amounts of syllables per line to make it flow better as well as the od differences!.

I know what it's like trying to write songs, I have started doing some myself, try reading some tutorials on it I did a Google search for "write lyrics"!. Give it a go :)Www@Enter-QA@Com

They are not good song lyrics!.

It reads like a mediocre poem!.

If the lyrics reflect your personal strife, I sympathize with you!. Www@Enter-QA@Com

No!. Too patheticWww@Enter-QA@Com

Sounds better as a poem but its not to badWww@Enter-QA@Com

sounds more like a poem, but its still goodWww@Enter-QA@Com



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