How are my RAP lyrics (part 2) please read.!


Question: How are my RAP lyrics (part 2) please read!.
i put the 1st verse again for the people who might of not read and answered last time the 2nd verse is for the people who probably read it the 1st time!.
anyway tell me what you think!. positive criticism is welcome!.

verse 1:
Every one in the streets is panickin
cops are gatherin tryna keep peace but everyone's attackin em
smackin em and wackin em stampin em and smashin them
paramedis draggin em to the ambulance n baggin em
everbody is pushin and shoving each other
thers goes another little kid sperated from there mother
lives are gettin gambles people are gettin trampled
punch kicked slapped nudged and man handled
tramps and hobo's breakin into liqour stores
even the rats and birds from the sewers and sicamores
are flying scurrying runnin and fleeing for there lives
kids cryin worrying hurryin cos what there seeing in there eyes
is sending shivers in their spine and parts in their hair lines
they shake and quiver all the time and start to secram and whine
people ducking and looking to try and get outta sight
but they were never even seen agina after that night!.

verse 2:
roads covered in ash n dust and shrouded in smog
nothin is visible cos of the thickness of the fog
buildings crumbling people are fumbling and stumbling
cos of the ground underneath them all is rumbling
persons fearing for there lives for not knowing whats to come
because tem minutes ago they were all having fun
know this has all come as a random blow
ther think there safe know cos the army commands and goes
and rolls up to the unkown and get skinned to bone
there goes another mrs soldier gtetin a phone call home
with a kid who's barely grown now she's gotta raise him all alone
with a mascaline role model never being shown
this judgement day and doomsday rolled up into one
disaster and catastrophe worse than napalm bombs
where ever you go the coming is following
rhe lives it takes are for keeps not for borrowing

i am gonna finish it!. but next time ill juts post the 3rd verse on its own!.
Www@Enter-QA@Com


Answers:
u stole my name! lol!. anyway, co-sign wit BishWww@Enter-QA@Com

Thats tight!. I just let a few army buddys read that too!. They give you mad props!. MSG said you needa clean it up but he gets where its coming from!. 8/10Www@Enter-QA@Com

Wack Out Of 10 =DWww@Enter-QA@Com

first verse not bad

id like t hear you spit it

Immoral Maestro!?ehhWww@Enter-QA@Com



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