Does the begining of a song im trying to write sound good?!


Question: Does the begining of a song im trying to write sound good!?
No more pain no more sadness,no more range no more madness!.i will be here if you fall i'll be there if you loose it all,i heard every sword soon will break and every heart will begin to ach but what wont ach and what wont break is my love for you!.!.!. that's it so if it's good say so and if it's not say so!.!.!.thank you!.Www@Enter-QA@Com


Answers:
It sounds good, for a poem!. But in my opinion, & what I've been hearing a lot lately, are songs that don't rhyme all the time, at least not every line!.
So, you don't have to try so hard to make sure every other few words rhyme, & plus it's a lot easier to do & to make sure you're not just using certain lines & words, that may not even go alone with it, just because they rhyme!.
also, it's a lot easier to sound cheesy!.
But it is good!Www@Enter-QA@Com

sounds like a typical beatles song
so yeah, its aightWww@Enter-QA@Com

Its good just try to not make it sooo rhymey and like make deeeper metaphors!. Great start thoughWww@Enter-QA@Com

that's awesomeWww@Enter-QA@Com

That's pretty good!
I like it :)Www@Enter-QA@Com



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