New song I wrote! Please review!?!


Question: New song I wrote! Please review!!?
Any changes on my new song (awkward parts, wierd lyrics, etc) and any comments! Thanks in advance!

V1- Rain falls,
Pitter patter on the sidewalk,
Rain falls,
We have to have a little talk!.

Dripping down my face,
Rain falls,
Keep a steady pace,
Rain falls!.

Refrain: Come clean,
No more lies,
you know what I mean!.

You have a very big web,
You're a very sneaky spider,
So lets stop this before it gets any wider!.

V2- Pouring Down,
Foggin up the window,
The suspense seems to grow!.

You lied to me,
Pouring down,
I bought one and got a million more free,
Pouring down!.

Refrain

V3- Tears falling,
Let it wash away your sadness,
Tears falling,
It's time to confess!.

Not time noe for apologies,
Tears falling,
So just leave me alone please!.

Refrain

Rain stopped,
Sunshine comes out,
Rain stopped,
The flower of healing starts to sprout!.Www@Enter-QA@Com


Answers:
Nice piece of poetry, but how can you call it a song without a tune!. I loved it as a poem and am interested to hear it as a song!. Keep up the good work!. Lyrics do not a song make!. You only have to read the stand alone lyrics of some of the most popular songs ever, disregarding the tune, and then think!. A successful song is both melody and lyric!.Www@Enter-QA@Com

it would be a great poem and a good song the only reason it is not a greeat song is it just ends but maybe that's because I'm singing it wrong =] oh well I like it though!Www@Enter-QA@Com

Its good if it was a poem!. Song: Its sucks!.Www@Enter-QA@Com

nice song!. love it!.Www@Enter-QA@Com

love your song its awesomeWww@Enter-QA@Com

beautiful!Www@Enter-QA@Com

Wow! you wrote that you have talent good luckWww@Enter-QA@Com

Tor-
That is REALLY good! YOu need to start doing something with these!!! :)Www@Enter-QA@Com

i really like it & if it were on the internet i would download it!!!Www@Enter-QA@Com

That is so good! I love it!.Www@Enter-QA@Com

i really liked it! sweets you got some talent put it to good use!Www@Enter-QA@Com



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