Lyric Advice? Please :)?!
Question: Lyric Advice!? Please :)!?
ok the inspiration is from an uncle i never met, who pretty much lived my dream!.
but i left the lyrics open to your own interpretation so it means more to YOU!.
feedback please, help on rhymes, any suggestions are welcome
and im 14, and this is my 1st song ive written!.
BE HONEST
I dont know
where to go
i see whats right
for tonight
underneath
cloaks of misery
we can see the light
for tonight
what are we
dreamers, destiny
all in spite
for tonight
we all know
our lives are bound to go
the real truth bites
for tonight
you lie there dead
eyes open on your head
i capture fright
for tonight
bullets blaze on by
you lay there, cry BRIDGE
screams all around
human hunting grounds
a kiss goodbye
see you in the sky
life is over, night
for tonight
ok well thanksWww@Enter-QA@Com
but i left the lyrics open to your own interpretation so it means more to YOU!.
feedback please, help on rhymes, any suggestions are welcome
and im 14, and this is my 1st song ive written!.
BE HONEST
I dont know
where to go
i see whats right
for tonight
underneath
cloaks of misery
we can see the light
for tonight
what are we
dreamers, destiny
all in spite
for tonight
we all know
our lives are bound to go
the real truth bites
for tonight
you lie there dead
eyes open on your head
i capture fright
for tonight
bullets blaze on by
you lay there, cry BRIDGE
screams all around
human hunting grounds
a kiss goodbye
see you in the sky
life is over, night
for tonight
ok well thanksWww@Enter-QA@Com
Answers:
If this is a song (as opposed to a poem) you need to vary the lyric meter to avoid monotony!. For example, you could have a refrain or a chorus with longer lines to offset the shorter, choppy ones!.Www@Enter-QA@Com
You have now asked this question 3 times in the past 30 minutes!. I still stick to my first answer, which I posted on your first question regarding this song!. Here is the link to your first question where I posted all of my feedback- check it out! Great work, keep writing! http://answers!.yahoo!.com/question/index;!.!.!.Www@Enter-QA@Com