Would anyone like to comment on these lyrics?!


Question: Would anyone like to comment on these lyrics!?
I have two different songs I'm working on I apologize that they are only fragments, but I've recently been hit with a lot of inspiration and I have several fragments:

The first one!.!.!.!.

So tell me now
Tell me I'm a worthless waste
And hear me out
Yeah, I know I make mistakes
But I'm allowed
'Cause I don't mean a damn thing to anyone
This life's just come undone
So tell me now

next one!.!.!.

You're a broken girl
And a hundred sweet redemptions
Won't turn into pearls
You're the answer to my nightmare
A forgotten girl
The kind I'd like to see
Go out and shake the world
You broken girl

Thanks in advance for your thoughts!Www@Enter-QA@Com


Answers:
They both are probably the best lyrics I've read on here!. The first one is catchy, real radio material!. The second one is just plain awesome, I'd like to see them both completed!.Www@Enter-QA@Com

very very emo= /Www@Enter-QA@Com

I like the second a lott but the first one seems just a little to dark to me!.Www@Enter-QA@Com

heyyy i love the lyrics to the first one!!
if u record it send it to me =]Www@Enter-QA@Com

REALLY GOODWww@Enter-QA@Com

those are both like, really really good=)
i loved 'em=)Www@Enter-QA@Com

you should really finish them, they are great so far!Www@Enter-QA@Com

wow, i really really love these!
please consider recording them!.
and tell me if you do :)Www@Enter-QA@Com



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