Does anyone like this rhyme I made? Please look at. Thanks!?!


Question: Does anyone like this rhyme I made!? Please look at!. Thanks!!?
i made this in like 5 minutes so yeah
its just a rhyme, nothing else!. Do you think its good for a 14 year old!? It's not true by the way!. :)

I took her by the hands
told her I was a fan
she left me the next day
told me we werent the same
I chased her down the block
man, was she in shock
told her I would stay forever
I would never leave her, not ever
im like a disease
I just don’t leave
but the next day she died
man, was I surprised
and thats the end of her
but not the end of me
found another girl
and had a baby

Well it rhymes at least!. And it makes sense which is what matters!. Thanks guys!.Www@Enter-QA@Com


Answers:
Keep writing man!. You'll improve as you go!.!.!.but don't stop!!

Peace

BCWww@Enter-QA@Com

Damn, you're talented! That's some Soulja Boy level s*** right there!. I want to offer you a multi-million dollar recording deal, I think you have a hit on your hands!Www@Enter-QA@Com

its not badd, especially for a 14 year old!. if you spent more time one it, (more than 5 minutes), you could probably improve it a lot more!. so good luck!Www@Enter-QA@Com

sounds like something a middle schooler wrote, id probaly give you a B for effort thugh!.Www@Enter-QA@Com

ur ryhmes are mental, kinda like Britney
ur words in my mouth are sour screaming 'SPIT ME'
I like the effort cause atleast u tried
But who am i to talk , cause I dont even rhymeWww@Enter-QA@Com

it sounds amateur and too rhymeyWww@Enter-QA@Com

Its aiight for a 14 year old!. Keep writing to step up ya skillsWww@Enter-QA@Com

ooo i dont like it!.!.!.!.especially the end!.!.it sucks and doesnt go with the rest of it!.!.Www@Enter-QA@Com

stick to poetry!.!.!.Www@Enter-QA@Com



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