Please rate this rap verse for me?!
Question: Please rate this rap verse for me!?
the 8th wonder in the world is the vision i see
where life is peaceful endlessly
but like it was all a dream
back to reality death tells me in my dreams
i awakin to the sounds of alarms screamin at me
back to repetetive process of livin life carelessly
like slaves in the 19th century i jus want to be free
in the scheme of my rhymes i touch on history
keepin up on current events cuz it interest me
why my life has so many twist is a mystery
but im thankful for my complex memories
people that know me only know what i tell em
past is dark like suicidal thoughts enslaved into art
but i never thought that way
as some of their memories lay on the streets as display
of the cold world we living in 2day
every minute theres a death in the fray
they say lights at the end of every tunnel
before i heard that i felt like my life
wuz black holed trapped in a funnelWww@Enter-QA@Com
where life is peaceful endlessly
but like it was all a dream
back to reality death tells me in my dreams
i awakin to the sounds of alarms screamin at me
back to repetetive process of livin life carelessly
like slaves in the 19th century i jus want to be free
in the scheme of my rhymes i touch on history
keepin up on current events cuz it interest me
why my life has so many twist is a mystery
but im thankful for my complex memories
people that know me only know what i tell em
past is dark like suicidal thoughts enslaved into art
but i never thought that way
as some of their memories lay on the streets as display
of the cold world we living in 2day
every minute theres a death in the fray
they say lights at the end of every tunnel
before i heard that i felt like my life
wuz black holed trapped in a funnelWww@Enter-QA@Com
Answers:
ok first of all for rap its to smarty smarty but in all its an awsome verse man keep thinkin yo gonna be goodWww@Enter-QA@Com
not bad, but unfortuantely this verse doesnt suit the artform, its more of a poety peotry type of thing, if u get me!.Www@Enter-QA@Com
Its good you need to work more on your rhymesWww@Enter-QA@Com
its cool!.!.!.!.!.!.!.itz mor R+B though specially in da begining
but great though
~WiiWww@Enter-QA@Com
but great though
~WiiWww@Enter-QA@Com
They lack "punch"!.!.!.Do you know what I mean!? It all seems a little wishy-washy!. Bring in more concrete examples and tighten things up by being less wordy!. Remember, less is more!.
Give people lyrics that they can practically touch!. You're on the right path!
For good examples of how to MC, listen to El Producto, Nas' first album (especially the song "It ain't hard to tell"), Chuck D from Public enemy and Slick Rick!. All of these artists have incredible flow and the ability to tell a story and paint a lyrical picture!.
As far as freestyle goes, Canibus, Akrobatic and Eminem are some of the best out there!. Check out some of their stuff too!.
Good luck!
You'll find your nitch!.!.!.It just takes time!.Www@Enter-QA@Com
Give people lyrics that they can practically touch!. You're on the right path!
For good examples of how to MC, listen to El Producto, Nas' first album (especially the song "It ain't hard to tell"), Chuck D from Public enemy and Slick Rick!. All of these artists have incredible flow and the ability to tell a story and paint a lyrical picture!.
As far as freestyle goes, Canibus, Akrobatic and Eminem are some of the best out there!. Check out some of their stuff too!.
Good luck!
You'll find your nitch!.!.!.It just takes time!.Www@Enter-QA@Com
it is pretty basic!. Kind of a bad poem not really even rap!. Not saying that the real famous stuff is better but it sounds like something a person would freestyle not plan/write out!. I feel like you might not know a lot about rap if you don't even know Juicy's title (that is the It was all a dream song you are referring to)!. If you want some artists in NYC to try to learn something from go with Wu-Tang Clan (Enter 36 Chambers or Iron Flag), Nas (Illamtic or Stillmatic), Rakim is God so any song from him is good (Microphone Fiend, I Ain't Know Joke, Eric!. B for President)!.Www@Enter-QA@Com