What do you think of the song I just wrote?!
Question: What do you think of my song? I still don't have a title for it...
Please give me some honest feedback! thanks! btw it's not a country song!
I was waiting at the bus stop on a rainy afternoon
Shuffling my feet and humming some sort of tune
Thinking about kisses and butterflies and life
Forgetting all the bad things, unhappiness and strife
And there you stood
With eyes like the sea,
Just watching and smiling
And looking toward me
You took me by the hand
And we danced until dark
Through a forest of emerald,
I was happy as a lark.
The next morning
I burnt the coffee
But you didn’t mind
As far as I was concerned
You were loving and kind.
My dreams were sweet for a fortnight,
But you grabbed your bags and left
Early one morning, when I had just slept
And I cried and I thought, and the burden I bore
Was making me weary and lovesick and sore
My heart keeps on beating without much more passion,
But I know you’re still out there,
Though my hopes remain ashen.
Answers: What do you think of my song? I still don't have a title for it...
Please give me some honest feedback! thanks! btw it's not a country song!
I was waiting at the bus stop on a rainy afternoon
Shuffling my feet and humming some sort of tune
Thinking about kisses and butterflies and life
Forgetting all the bad things, unhappiness and strife
And there you stood
With eyes like the sea,
Just watching and smiling
And looking toward me
You took me by the hand
And we danced until dark
Through a forest of emerald,
I was happy as a lark.
The next morning
I burnt the coffee
But you didn’t mind
As far as I was concerned
You were loving and kind.
My dreams were sweet for a fortnight,
But you grabbed your bags and left
Early one morning, when I had just slept
And I cried and I thought, and the burden I bore
Was making me weary and lovesick and sore
My heart keeps on beating without much more passion,
But I know you’re still out there,
Though my hopes remain ashen.
was waiting at the bus stop on a rainy afternoon
Shuffling my feet and humming some sort of tune
Thinking about kisses and butterflies and life
Forgetting all the bad things, unhappiness and strife
And there you stood
With eyes like the sea,
Just watching and smiling
And looking toward me
You took me by my hand
And we danced until dark
Through a forest of emerald,
I was happy as a lark.
The early next morning
I made something for u
my eyes just kept staring u and i burnt the food
But you winked at me and gave me a smile
All i thought of yew was
You were loving and too kind.
But i guess my dreams were just meant to be in closed eyes
Cause when i was sleeping you just grabbed ur bags and left
And I cried and I thought,i looked for you all around
i was weary and my eyes just sored
My heart keeps on beating and says come back mi amor
I know that u are still there for me
and thats what i keep hoping
thats someday u will come back to me and hold me in ur arms
it was instant hope u like it...or atleast u can get tips.......from it
vagabondx
great song! keep it up!
I really liked it, great ryhming and storyline. I would get rid of the lark line though, doesn't keep the flow, plus, it's an ugly word. Great though, I hope you go somewhere with it.
THis song made me cry.
FROM LAUGHTER!!!
AHAHAHAHAHAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
jk gurl, u rock!! xoxoxoxox
JK!!!
U SUKK!!!!! AHAHAHA
jk.
no. seriously. jk about the jk about jk. IM JK, GRRLLL!!
I think its good ...very poetic as well Bravo
Technically it isn't a song, as songs require musical composition. As for the lyrics, the rhyming meter is painfully inconsistent.
...(speechless)
Wow! This song sounds amazing even without the music! I think you should sing it and put the video on You Tube. Maybe someone will see you and let you record it in a recording studio.
And if you dont like to sing then ill sing it! I love your song sooo much! I wanna sing it! Please! Lollz.
kinda wierd. i don't dance at bus stops. do you?
first let me say you are very talented.i would name this song-(my dreams of you)