I wrote a new song, are these lyrics good?!


Question: Who's that??? (x 2)

What's your problem?
Who..Who's that???

Stayed up all night thinking about that girl you were with.
Who's that???

You're such a player...Player

I said, you heard me,

YOU'RE A PLAYER!

I said, you heard me, A player

Who's that??? Who's that???

Who's that girl you were with yesterday.
You were thinking she's fine....I think you're a player.
Don't you see, see yourself.

Cheating on me....You're a player!

(Repeat 2 more times....)




That's it....So if you can make ajustments and help me. Rate it....










Thank you.


Answers: Who's that??? (x 2)

What's your problem?
Who..Who's that???

Stayed up all night thinking about that girl you were with.
Who's that???

You're such a player...Player

I said, you heard me,

YOU'RE A PLAYER!

I said, you heard me, A player

Who's that??? Who's that???

Who's that girl you were with yesterday.
You were thinking she's fine....I think you're a player.
Don't you see, see yourself.

Cheating on me....You're a player!

(Repeat 2 more times....)




That's it....So if you can make ajustments and help me. Rate it....










Thank you.

I think it could be good, with the right beats, tune, etc. I've heard a lot worse recorded popular music. Keep at it!

One thing I would suggest is that you try to rhyme some of it--particularly:

"Stayed up all night thinking
about that girl you were with. . .


And "Who's that girl you were with yesterday?
You were thinking she's fine. . .

I expected to see rhymes here.

To be brutaly honest, It sucks.

sounds good, u can obv right lyrics czx some people just right cheezy **** lol wat sort of music is it?

good job.u really do good job

To be honest, this is terrible writing. Im not saying that to be mean, Im saying that to give you a sense of what it takes to write a song. This is not a song. Its a bunch of words you put in song format. The ONLY genre of music this could fit in is hip hop or rap. You need a chorus, you need to get rid of the word "player" , and just.....put the pencil down. This is really not good at all.

oh God... i agree with mr. brightside.

this is terrible. just a bunch of words put together repeating the same old same old. just give up.

well its not horribal mady try to think of another name for player you dont here that word much in music just keep trying you might find somthing

i think they are really good to tell you the truth.
you should make a song and let me know about it.
i love it
=)

Probably not rock or pop...Maybe some hip hop section...Definitely not rap, you don't have enough words...I guess you could play around with a beat, but it is really hard to judge a song by just it's lyrics...Music is a combination of noises that the human soul can decipher into enjoyment...
But yeah...Is it based off someone???

I think that it is a litlle bit hard and has a llot of hate in it. Did something like that happen to yourself?

it sucks.............

I think there needs to be more to it or something, it's a bit repetitive. Otherwise, nice job. =)

oh...my...god. Honestly, maybe it has nice rythem, but these lyrics alone blow.



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