What do you Think of this????Please help!!?!


Question: Its a song that I wrote and I need a few opinions, Please.

If tomorrow never comes,
If today is all you've got,
Would it surprise you to know
That I love you

If the morning turns black,
If the stars won't shine,
Can I still count on you?
Will you be there?
Oh, will you be there?

(Pre-Chorus)
'Cuz I'm fine, but on my own,
Feel the dark, still all alone,
And I think I need you here beside me.
(Chorus)
I need you to pick me up as I'm fallin' dawn
and hold me while I'm crashing to the ground
to put me back together when I'm broken apart
I need you to tell me I'm o.k.

Yeah, I'm still o.k.
Is this, right now, here this,
is this o.k.?


Answers: Its a song that I wrote and I need a few opinions, Please.

If tomorrow never comes,
If today is all you've got,
Would it surprise you to know
That I love you

If the morning turns black,
If the stars won't shine,
Can I still count on you?
Will you be there?
Oh, will you be there?

(Pre-Chorus)
'Cuz I'm fine, but on my own,
Feel the dark, still all alone,
And I think I need you here beside me.
(Chorus)
I need you to pick me up as I'm fallin' dawn
and hold me while I'm crashing to the ground
to put me back together when I'm broken apart
I need you to tell me I'm o.k.

Yeah, I'm still o.k.
Is this, right now, here this,
is this o.k.?

i play guitar and write songs and i sang this and u deffinately can put this to a beat, but the way i was singing it was a little rocky, idk how u intended it to sound, but overall, good lyrics

nott badd

Interesting...I was trying to put a beat to it, and when the chorus came, the lines seem a little long, but obviously I need the music.

If you shorten the chorus up or fire the lines off quick, it probably will sound great.

writing a song about a girl? so are we all, bro.

Woa! its sooooooooo nice
i love it!
*wiping my tears*


Ps: didnt read it!.....ahahahah! =))

my opinion is that im going to steal it and sing it on the radio, i dont see any copyright laws on here, THANKS BUDDY!!!!

I think it sounds pretty good. :)

pretty good

It has a pretty good meaning, except the chorus the rythm doesn't really work out, but overall, great job!

I quite like it
'cause it depends how you sing it

i think you've got talent
but in my opinion i think its too cliche
put some meaning into it
so everyone can get something out of it
you know to make it moving
and something you feel strongly about

I like it. I hope to hear it as part of a tune.

its nice but i think that you should put "your here(to protect me)"



p.s. i also wright lyrics!! i think this is awesome!!

awesome!!why don't you post on a celebrity and millionaire site named "SearchingMillionaire Dotcom"? many celebs are looking for actor and actress there.maybe you will be famous soon...



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