NEW VERSES... Come leave input?!
Question: Now she's late more than four
days passed the fourth
on her fourth
pregnancy test
willing to take more
already cant afford
the accord
she traded for
the ford on the fourth
with the down payment of
four.... forty four
just to meet with him
at club forty four
could tell what she was there for
by the clothes that she wore
plus she a light weight
so the alchohol she consumed
plus the fact she was out
past her curfew
could lead us to assume
that she gave it up to soon
and the fact his wife at home
could smell the perFUME
that he sent
cuz it had a scent
that he aint smell since
cuz since
the circumstance
her eyes he aint trying to see
like scent without the C
so he sent Money
it cost more cents
than the scent
that led to the seed
that he felt he didnt need
cuz the man is married
its funny
cuz before the seed
he was PRO-SEED
know he wants to proceed
Answers: Now she's late more than four
days passed the fourth
on her fourth
pregnancy test
willing to take more
already cant afford
the accord
she traded for
the ford on the fourth
with the down payment of
four.... forty four
just to meet with him
at club forty four
could tell what she was there for
by the clothes that she wore
plus she a light weight
so the alchohol she consumed
plus the fact she was out
past her curfew
could lead us to assume
that she gave it up to soon
and the fact his wife at home
could smell the perFUME
that he sent
cuz it had a scent
that he aint smell since
cuz since
the circumstance
her eyes he aint trying to see
like scent without the C
so he sent Money
it cost more cents
than the scent
that led to the seed
that he felt he didnt need
cuz the man is married
its funny
cuz before the seed
he was PRO-SEED
know he wants to proceed
Your rhyme scheme is very creative and off the hook. Very realistic story indeed. I enjoyed it.
This is dope homie
I don't usually comment on verses,
coz I leave it to experts (like the two users above me).....lol.
well, it's very nice Dyne... and It's pretty good.
yo hat was hot yo yu gotta myspace music page???? email it ta me cuz i got sum conections ta hook u up cuz yu is dope fareal
cathy
at first i just glanced at it cuz the lines were so short i automatically thought it would suck but then i came back and actually read it... good job man. good job