Freestyle Challenge .... for writers only...?!
Question: Twas the night before Christmas when all through the house..
Find the original version attached here: http://www.christmas-tree.com/real/chris...
Your challenge is to re-write it... and make it HOOD!!!
Happy Holly daze!
Most creative wins!!!
Answers: Twas the night before Christmas when all through the house..
Find the original version attached here: http://www.christmas-tree.com/real/chris...
Your challenge is to re-write it... and make it HOOD!!!
Happy Holly daze!
Most creative wins!!!
'Twas the night before Christmas, and all thru the streets
Juveniles were roaming, turning cans over making beats
Using hands as a instrument, bottles on the ground; they spin those
The neighborhood is awakened, lookin out their project windows
The sound soon ceases, as the city cops circle the block
At the same time a robbery is in progress, thieves begin to flock
Hearts pounding rapidly, afraid their holiday is doomed
just looking to provide for their family, and their kin yet to leave the womb
Girlfriends and wives worried, scared of the fate to come
Crack addicts lookin for a fix, Young wanting out the slums
Adventures spark their interest, imagination takes them far away
the 25th of December, heaven on earth for them awaits
But the 24th remains an obstacle, struggles hard to pass
Bullets are piercing lungs, young girls by blood harassed
But tomorrow changes everything, the night is just a trap
Fear is still eminent, 'Tis why he leaves his building strapped
'Twas the night before Christmas, the streets were finally silenced
ask what the next day brings? 24 hours witout violence
..i kno the original was longer, but this all i felt like doing
ahh! i'm too damn white..i cant do it!!
Yo Dasher, what up? I finally got the youth dem to sleep.
Prancer....A weh you put the stocking?
Well a the getto this & we na have no Chimney!....so me hang dem by the door.
Y?.....Y you a question for boy? Hey here me,..the man dem fe cool "I"...a Christmas Eve. Vixen you just put the youth dem to sleep,..& manage fe come out & start fus pon Chrismas Eve.
Sorry Blitzen!..."Listen" I know the story,...& this a the getto
we na have no creature only Cupid (ha..ha..ha...laugh joke)
but we have nuf mouse and dem cool.....but me na want fe
hear bout no jolly old st.Nicholas....(f""k him) weh him did deh? When me haffe dress like him last year....fe make the
youth dem feel good.
Boy Blitzen you sound vex....na Dancer me cool "I",...Me
just bun the whole st.Nicholas thing "I".
Comet!...play some tunes "I",....one step ahead of you Blitzen....
Doner!...Don't worry Blitzen i got the Hennessy....you guys got your glasses?.... Just come pore the liquor so we can have a Merry Chrismas to all & all a good night.
Twas the night before Christmas, and all through the hood
fiends roamed the streets; their minds up to no good
The dealers were standing on corners with packs,
In hopes that the addicts would come purchase crack;
The whores were spreading diseases galore,
With visions of Pretty Women as they snort lines off the floor;
And momma with her gin, and me with my sack,
Had just settled down for a big blunt in fact
When I heard the fence creak like when it is opened,
I said, "Fool I'm Packing and I'm Shooting No Joking!".
Down to my strap I flew like a flash,
Said Mama it might be Po so get rid of my stash
My neighbor was standing at her window fully nude,
While the bums below pawed through the trash for some food
When, what to my wondering eyes should appear,
But a miniature sleigh, and eight tiny reindeer,
I looked at my blunt, said this is fast actin s hit
I knew in a moment I must be hella lit.
Like police for white woman down calls they came,
As he whistled, and shouted, and called them by name;
"Now, Dasher! now, Dancer! now, what was I thinking!
Oh jeez, I feel woozy I gotta stop drinking!
To the one that smells! and who eats my shoes!
Dash away! dash away to wherever I choose"
If you think the conditions with me are not fair,
Catch me when I'm drunk, then I really don't care,
So up to the house-tops the animals flew,
With the sleigh full of toys, and a fat drunkard too.
And then, with a thud, I heard and then smelled
The prancing of demon deer sent straight from hell.
As I drew from my blunt, and cocked back my hammer,
Down the chimney fell a red nosed man with a stammer.
He was dressed in a hoody, all black like the night,
And his jeans were Evisu, loose fit not all tight,
A bunch of toys he started putting together quickly,
And he looked like a tweeker before they get sickly.
His eyes -- how they twinkled! his nose hella sweaty!
His teeth kept grinding, his mind quite unsteady!
His withered little mouth was drawn up in a grin,
And the beard on his chin was darker than sin;
The stump of a pipe he held tight in his teeth,
While crack smoke encircled his head like a wreath;
He had a scarred face and a little round belly,
That shook, when he laughed like a bowlful of jelly.
He was chubby and plump, a right jolly old creature,
And I laughed when I saw him, my crazed former teacher;
A wink of his eye and a twist of his head,
Soon gave me to know I had nothing to dread;
He spoke not a word, but went straight towards my mama,
And got hit with a pipe, no noise is no drama
I run to his sleigh, and strip that b itch clean,
let the remains get picked over by half frozen fiends.
As I chop the body up, to stash out of sight,
"I had a very Merry Christmas, in another crazy hood night."
god theyre all so long cant believe youd bother to read all this
So you guys weren't feeling the Kurtis Blow hit from the beginning of hip hop, I drop some keystyling...
'Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the house
Not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse;
Not even a blouse, that momma would wear;
showing nipples and pimples, and a little pubic hair.
The stockings were hung by the chimney with care,
In hopes that St. Nicholas soon would be there;
Arriving in crushed velvet, with Tims on his feet,
carrying a satchel of presents and holiday treats.
The children were nestled all snug in their beds,
While visions of sugar-plums danced in their heads;
Mamma was breakin' me off with the goods,
While cousins were sleep on couches, We So Hood.
When out on the lawn there arose such a clatter,
I sprang from the bed to see what was the matter.
Away to the window I flew like a flash,
Tore open the shutters and threw up the sash.
Sirens and horns, started to blare,
and momma was startled while fixing her hair;
The moon on the breast of the new-fallen snow
Gave the lustre of mid-day to objects below,
When, what to my wondering eyes should appear,
But a miniature sleigh, and eight tiny reindeer,
Out on my lawn, taking poops like humans,
wrecking navity scenes, disconnecting lights, I'm assuming;
With a little old driver, so lively and quick,
I knew in a moment it must be St. Nick.
More rapid than eagles his coursers they came,
And he whistled, and shouted, and called them by name;
"Now, Dasher! now, Dancer! now, Prancer and Vixen!
(a chick I had dated, her favorite place was the kitchen,)
On, Comet! on Cupid! on, Donder and Blitzen!
(she like it real rough, with ham and all the fixin')
To the top of the porch! to the top of the wall!
Now dash away! dash away! dash away all!"
As dry leaves that before the wild hurricane fly,
When they meet with an obstacle, mount to the sky,
I grabbed my shot gun and ran down the stairs,
stopped short and realized I was in my underwears;
So up to the house-top the coursers they flew,
With the sleigh full of toys, and St. Nicholas too.
I let off a round in the air, at the door I sent two,
Maybe deer meat would be good for the crew;
And then, in a twinkling, I heard on the roof
The prancing and pawing of each little hoof.
As I drew in my hand, and was turning around,
I decided to put the sawed off shotgun down,
I grabbed my rifle and layed down on the ground.
Down the chimney St. Nicholas came with a bound.
He was dressed all in fur, from his head to his foot,
And his clothes were all tarnished with ashes and soot;
A bundle of toys he had flung on his back,
And he looked like a peddler just opening his pack.
I told him, "Be easy, before I put one in your head,"
He smiled real sleasy, like he had nothing to dread.
His eyes -- how they twinkled! his dimples how merry!
His cheeks were like roses, his nose like a cherry!
His droll little mouth was drawn up like a bow,
And the beard of his chin was as white as the snow;
I asked him what the heck he was doing here,
and he twinkled his nose and gave me a sneer.
The stump of a pipe he held tight in his teeth,
And the smoke it encircled his head like a wreath;
He blew a ring of smoke, said "I'm dropping off presents,
You've been a good father, teaching children good lessons."
He had a broad face and a little round belly,
That shook, when he laughed like a bowlful of jelly.
He was chubby and plump, a right jolly old elf,
And I laughed when I saw him, in spite of myself;
I guess he was good since he held his gat,
until he reached in his sack and pulled out a bat.
A wink of his eye and a twist of his head,
Soon gave me to know I had nothing to dread;
He spoke not a word, but went straight to his work,
And filled all the stockings; then turned with a jerk,
He asked me for cookies, then asked me for milk,
then told me my wife was one hell of a milf.
And laying his finger aside of his nose,
And giving a nod, up the chimney he rose;
He sprang to his sleigh, to his team gave a whistle,
And away they all flew like the down of a thistle.
I peered through the window and wondered in awe,
Could I have been dreaming, Or did I see what I saw.
But I heard him exclaim, ere he drove out of sight,
"Happy Christmas to all, and to all a good-night."