Is my song good or crap be honest, i'm 14?!
Question: The world’s a messed up place,
That much we all know,
The innocent suffer,
From seeds,
Others have sewn.
People with so much,
Waste it away,
While people with nothing,
Suffer from day to day.
No matter what is said,
There’s no hope of change,
We’ve become set,
In a pattern of sorrow and pain.
Everyone else is second to ourselves,
No one gives a ****,
About anyone else.
People pray,
Hold onto hopes of better days,
The sad truth is that,
This is the start of the world’s decay.
You can only hold on,
To so much pain,
Before you start slipping,
Slipping away.
I wish time would stand still,
The world would just halt,
Maybe one day,
We’ll figure this out.
I start slipping,
Slipping away,
This is the start,
Of the world’s decay.
How can our lives be so different,
When were all so the same,
No one seems to give a ****,
Bout what there trying to say
Ignore the problem,
The pleas for help,
So that we can focus,
Back on ourselves.
Answers: The world’s a messed up place,
That much we all know,
The innocent suffer,
From seeds,
Others have sewn.
People with so much,
Waste it away,
While people with nothing,
Suffer from day to day.
No matter what is said,
There’s no hope of change,
We’ve become set,
In a pattern of sorrow and pain.
Everyone else is second to ourselves,
No one gives a ****,
About anyone else.
People pray,
Hold onto hopes of better days,
The sad truth is that,
This is the start of the world’s decay.
You can only hold on,
To so much pain,
Before you start slipping,
Slipping away.
I wish time would stand still,
The world would just halt,
Maybe one day,
We’ll figure this out.
I start slipping,
Slipping away,
This is the start,
Of the world’s decay.
How can our lives be so different,
When were all so the same,
No one seems to give a ****,
Bout what there trying to say
Ignore the problem,
The pleas for help,
So that we can focus,
Back on ourselves.
Actually, Yahoo! Answers usually always puts a question mark after when you don't, so that it most of the time never comes out as a statement.
Using swears supposedly give a stronger message, but in my opinion, it really just tries to give a rebelling message instead of a let's-work-together-to-be-together message. Watch out for that. Another thing to check is the timing with the lyrics. I'm imagining that the song's slow, and I think that the fifth verse is a bit too wordy. So when you get the music planned out, you can have someone check it if the lyrics are even.
"The world’s falling apart,
That’s why I say,
This is the start,
Of the world’s decay"
Honestly, it doesn't really match the sad tone to the other verses, so improve this one a bit. And opposed to a person above me, it wouldn't sound that great with a guitar solo. Why, it's instinct that tells me, really.
And it's so effin' long. I think that it's important to cut off some verses. You got the point across, and some of the verses repeat the message the previous verse was conveying. You'll find that out.
But after that, it's cool =)
A very sad testimony to the world we live in :(
I like it alot
good but you want to make a good intro your intro at the beginning of the song stinks you want to make it good where people will listen to it
i dont care for it. i acknowledge that there is writing talent there but the whole dreary picture is overplayed. everyday i people are having babies and starting their lives together. Getting new jobs and moving to be closer to someone they love. going for walks, staring at the stars, playing games with friends, hanging out at home, whatever. everyday people start and donate to charities, sacrifice something for others, do great things without expecting anything in return. if we only focus on negative, thats all we'll ever see. then what is the outlook that we pass on to posterity and those around us? we shouldn't be blind to the world around us but we have to 'stay positive' and continue to try to make a difference.
yah its good! those lyrics would definately work with the right music. only one thing: i know "this is the start of the world's decay" is the main line of the song, but honestly for something youre going to be repeating a lot i dont really like it that much. you could probably find different words with a similar meaning but a more profound sound. also, it might be cool if you put in some good things that were and compare it to how things are. like a why cant we go back to that? theme in the bridge or something. good luck with your writing!
lyrics are okay, it has a deep meaning but it's really simple i like complex lyrics. nice job, i had a tune when reading it, it just needs great the tabs or chords to this song and a guitar solo would be better
i agreee that the intro needs to be changed. it is actually pretty good. now u just need some good music : )
love the honesy about the world....
very depressing though. Id try saying something
positive somewhere in it. 14...wow good job.