Kevin Smith movie fans, what is your favorite 'Mallrats' quote(s)?!
Question:
Kevin Smith movie fans, what is your favorite 'Mallrats' quote(s)?
A couple of my faves:
Little Girl: [looking at a Magic Eye poster] Wow. It's a schooner.
Willam Black: Ha ha ha ha. You dumb b@stard. It's not a schooner... it's a Sailboat.
Little Boy: A schooner IS a sailboat stupid head.
Willam Black: [becoming enraged] You know what. There is NO Easter Bunny. Over there, that's just a guy in a suit!
Brandi: Suitor number 3, is your kiss like a soft breeze, a firm handshake or a jackhammer?
Gil Hicks: Definitely a jackhammer, I'm in there with some pressure and when I'm done, you're not the same as before. You're changed.
Brodie: Where do you come up with this sh!t? That's the cheesiest response to an honest question I have ever heard. I saw you kiss and it wasn't anything like that.
Bob Summers: [Chuckling] Suitor #2, you'll have to wait until you're addressed before you respond.
Brodie: Richard Dawson, why don't you just go back to your podium until it's time to play The Feud. All right?
LOL. Additional Details
1 day ago
LOL Orcastrated!
1 day ago
You guys made me laugh so hard. :) haha
Answers: 1 day ago
LOL Orcastrated!1 day ago
You guys made me laugh so hard. :) haha Jay: First you take a run at La Fours with a sock full of quarters. I'd do it, but I pulled my back at humping your mom last night. Neetch.
Jay: La Fours (scoffs). This guy dont know who La Fours is.
Rene: What are you doing? You promised me breakfast.
Brodie: Breakfast, shmreakfast. Look at the score, for Christ's sake. It's only the second period and I'm up 12 to 2. Breakfasts come and go, Rene, but Hartford, "the Whale," they only beat Vancouver once, maybe twice in a lifetime
Brodie: You f*ckers think just because a guy reads comics he can't start some sh*t?
T.S. Quint: But they're engaged.
Brodie: Doesn't matter, can't happen.
T.S. Quint: Why not? It's bound to come up.
Brodie: It's impossible, Lois could never have Superman's baby. Do you think her fallopian tubes could handle the sperm? I guarantee you he blows a load like a shotgun right through her back. What about her womb? Do you think it's strong enough to carry her child?
T.S. Quint: Sure, why not?
Brodie: He's an alien, for Christ sake. His Kyrptonian biological makeup is enhanced by earth's yellow sun. If Lois gets a tan the kid could kick right through her stomach. Only someone like Wonder Woman has a strong enough uterus to carry his kid. The only way he could bang regular chicks is with a kryptonite condom. That would kill him.
Brodie: [Brodie's voice] One time my cousin Walter got this cat stuck up his *ss. True story. He bought it at our local mall, so the whole fiasco wound up on the news. It was embarrasing for my relatives and all, but next week, he did it again. Different cat, same results, complete with another trip to the emergency room. So, I run into him a week later in the mall and he's buying another cat. And I says to him, "Jesus, Walt! What are you doing? You know you're just gonna get this cat stuck up your *ss too. Why don't you knock it off?" And he said to me, "Brodie, how the hell else am I supposed to get the gerbil out?" My cousin was a weird guy.
Brodie: You're giving up? You? You used to be stand-up guy, what happened to him? The guy who punched Amanda Gross's mother after she called him "low class".
T.S. Quint: That wasn't me. It was you.
Brodie: Oh, yeah.
T.S. Quint: And it wasn't her mother, it was her grandmother.
Brodie: No wonder the b*tch went down so fast.
Willam Black: Brenda?
Rene: [hitting him] DICK!
Brodie: Hey, look at that ring. What is that?
Jared Svenning: That is, um, my Junior College class ring. CumLaude, '69.
Brodie: I also hope to c*m loud one day, preferably in a 69.
Shannon Hamilton: Yeah, who's your favourite New Kid. Yeah, call me Joey. Oh, come on. Don't make me get loose. Yeah, that's right. Call me Donnie. Oh, girl. Oh, please don't go girl. he wanted to screw her somewhere very uncomfortable! , where like the back of a volkswagen???
hell have no fury, like a womens scorn for SEGA!!!
she challenged my labido!! i had to defend it "Why don't they ever bring back or remake good shows, like 'BJ and the Bear.' Now there's a concept I can't get enough of, a man and his monkey. "
"Say, would you like a chocolate covered pretzel ? "
. Silent Bob's an electrical genius. He won the science fair in eight grade by turning his mom's vibrator into a C.D. player using chicken-wire and sh**. Mother-fu**er's like MacGyver! No, mother-fu**er's better than MacGyver! DO IT DOOOOOUUUUUGGGG! Jay: DO IT DOUG!!!!! Hartford the Whale