What u think about this story?!

What u think about this story?

Im writting a story its about a yong graffiti artis whos dad was killed by his graffiti crew leaded but he dosent know that his crew is not so famous so he helps his crew get up anfter a while they become the #1crew in the city thanks to him so the crew leader starts talking about old time and how he killed his dad whne he realizes that hes leader is the killer he leaves and declare war on his own crew so he by himself but along the way he meets a girl whos also a graf writer and her borther a graf artist too so they form their own lil crew and try to go agains the big crew they know is suicede because they are outnumbered thats wen MR. GRAFF come to the rescue MR. GRAFF was the most famous writer on that city but believe to be dead he helps them because he never was on a crew he was his own crew and he was the best friend of the rival crew leader MR. GRAFF saw when the protagonist father was killed thats why he wanted to help him so they star the war at the end is just MR. GRAFF vs. ?

2 weeks ago
MR. GRAFF VS his best friend the rival crew leader so they fight to death and at the end mr. graff is the one who survive and walks away into the shadow of the night and is never heard from him again............

The only concern is that you have such a highly specialized market (qnd most folks think that tagger as visual polluters), you might have a very hard sell indeed.

I wrote a script along these lines and got a collective yawn from it