Know any really funny jokes?!
Question: Know any really funny jokes!?
i havent had a good laugh in a whileWww@Enter-QA@Com
Answers:
'There was a long, long line of spirits at the gate waiting to get into
heaven!. Not all these spirits could fit into heaven, so the ones who died the
worst death would be allowed in!.
The first man in line started telling his story, ''Well, Peter, you see, I
knew that my wife was cheating on me so I decided to come home early from work
one day to catch them in action!. I got home and searched all over but I couldn't
find him!. Then when I walked out onto the balcony, there he was dangling off the
darn thing by his fingertips!. So I ran and got a hammer then started beating him
with it and he fell!. Well, the fall didn't kill him, because he landed in a bush
so I picked up the refrigerator and threw it on him!. Although that killed him,
the strain gave me a heart attack, and here I am!.''
The next man came up and started his story!. ''St!. Peter, I always work out on
my balcony on the 14th floor of my apartment building!. I was on my bike one day
and I fell off when it flipped!. I sailed over the rail and I thought 'Please God
spare my life' and he did!. I caught on to a balcony below me!. I was even happier
when a man discovered me hanging there!. But all of a sudden he started beating
my hands with a hammer so I fell again!. But the dear Lord saved me again when I
landed in a bush!. But I'm here now because the guy threw his refrigerator on top
of me!.''
It was now the third guy's turn to start his story!. ''Well, Peter, just
picture this!. I'm hiding butt naked in this married chick's refrigerator!.!.!.'''
It was another Payday and I was tired of Mr!. Good bar!.
I saw Miss Hershey standing behind the Powerhouse on the corner of Clark and
Fifth Avenue when I whipped out my Whopper and whispered, “Hey Sweetheart, how'd
you like to Crunch on my big hunk for a Million Dollar Bar!?”
Well, she immediately went down on my Tootsie Roll, and it was like pure
Almond Joy!
I couldn't help but grab her delicious Mounds because it was easy to see that
this little Twix had the Red Hoots!.
It was all I could do to hold the Snickers and Crackle as my Butterfinger went
up her tight little Kit Kat and she started to scream “Oh Henry, Oh Henry!”
Soon she was fondling my Peter Pan and ZagNut and I knew it wouldn't be long
before I blew my Milk Duds clear to Mars that gave her a taste of the old Milky
Way!.
She asked me if I was into M&M, but I said, “Hey Chick let, no kinky stuff!.” I
said, “Look you little Reese's Pieces, don't be a Zero, be a Lifesaver!. Why
don't you take my Whatchamacallit and slip it up your Bit 'O' Honey!?”
(What a piece of Juicy Fruit she was, too!)
She screamed, “Oh Crackerjack, better than the Three Musketeers!” as I rammed
my Ding Dong up her Rocky Road and into her Peanut Butter Cup!.
Well, I was giving it to her Good 'N' Plenty, when all the sudden!.!.!. my
Starburst!
Yeah, as luck would have it, she started to grow Chunky and
complained of a Wrigley in her stomach!.
Sure enough, nine months later, out popped!? Baby Ruth!Www@Enter-QA@Com
heaven!. Not all these spirits could fit into heaven, so the ones who died the
worst death would be allowed in!.
The first man in line started telling his story, ''Well, Peter, you see, I
knew that my wife was cheating on me so I decided to come home early from work
one day to catch them in action!. I got home and searched all over but I couldn't
find him!. Then when I walked out onto the balcony, there he was dangling off the
darn thing by his fingertips!. So I ran and got a hammer then started beating him
with it and he fell!. Well, the fall didn't kill him, because he landed in a bush
so I picked up the refrigerator and threw it on him!. Although that killed him,
the strain gave me a heart attack, and here I am!.''
The next man came up and started his story!. ''St!. Peter, I always work out on
my balcony on the 14th floor of my apartment building!. I was on my bike one day
and I fell off when it flipped!. I sailed over the rail and I thought 'Please God
spare my life' and he did!. I caught on to a balcony below me!. I was even happier
when a man discovered me hanging there!. But all of a sudden he started beating
my hands with a hammer so I fell again!. But the dear Lord saved me again when I
landed in a bush!. But I'm here now because the guy threw his refrigerator on top
of me!.''
It was now the third guy's turn to start his story!. ''Well, Peter, just
picture this!. I'm hiding butt naked in this married chick's refrigerator!.!.!.'''
It was another Payday and I was tired of Mr!. Good bar!.
I saw Miss Hershey standing behind the Powerhouse on the corner of Clark and
Fifth Avenue when I whipped out my Whopper and whispered, “Hey Sweetheart, how'd
you like to Crunch on my big hunk for a Million Dollar Bar!?”
Well, she immediately went down on my Tootsie Roll, and it was like pure
Almond Joy!
I couldn't help but grab her delicious Mounds because it was easy to see that
this little Twix had the Red Hoots!.
It was all I could do to hold the Snickers and Crackle as my Butterfinger went
up her tight little Kit Kat and she started to scream “Oh Henry, Oh Henry!”
Soon she was fondling my Peter Pan and ZagNut and I knew it wouldn't be long
before I blew my Milk Duds clear to Mars that gave her a taste of the old Milky
Way!.
She asked me if I was into M&M, but I said, “Hey Chick let, no kinky stuff!.” I
said, “Look you little Reese's Pieces, don't be a Zero, be a Lifesaver!. Why
don't you take my Whatchamacallit and slip it up your Bit 'O' Honey!?”
(What a piece of Juicy Fruit she was, too!)
She screamed, “Oh Crackerjack, better than the Three Musketeers!” as I rammed
my Ding Dong up her Rocky Road and into her Peanut Butter Cup!.
Well, I was giving it to her Good 'N' Plenty, when all the sudden!.!.!. my
Starburst!
Yeah, as luck would have it, she started to grow Chunky and
complained of a Wrigley in her stomach!.
Sure enough, nine months later, out popped!? Baby Ruth!Www@Enter-QA@Com
A wife was in bed with her lover when she heard her husband's key in the door!. "Stay where you are," she said!. "He's so drunk he won't even notice you're in bed with me!."
Sure enough, the husband lurched into bed none the wiser, but a few minutes later, through a drunken haze, he saw six feet sticking out at the end of the bed!.
He turned to his wife: "Hey, there are six feet in this bed!. There should only be four!. What's going on!?"
"Nonsense," said the wife, "You're so drunk you miscounted!. Get out of bed and try again!. You can see better from over there!."
The husband climbed out of bed and counted!. "One, two, three, four!. Damn, you're right!."Www@Enter-QA@Com
Sure enough, the husband lurched into bed none the wiser, but a few minutes later, through a drunken haze, he saw six feet sticking out at the end of the bed!.
He turned to his wife: "Hey, there are six feet in this bed!. There should only be four!. What's going on!?"
"Nonsense," said the wife, "You're so drunk you miscounted!. Get out of bed and try again!. You can see better from over there!."
The husband climbed out of bed and counted!. "One, two, three, four!. Damn, you're right!."Www@Enter-QA@Com
I posted this as the answer to another question also so you may have seen it before,
Ok so there once was a rich woman who had a husband, they had 3 kids!. the husband had a heart attack and died, the She remarried and had 4 more kids, he also had a heart attack and died, she remarried again and had 6 kids this time, but alas her new husband died too!. So she remarries yet again this time having 8 kids!. the husband dies, finally the woman dies
At the funeral a close friend says to the priest, "well at least they will be together now"!. The priest asks, "yes but which husband are you talking about,"
The friend replies, "I was talking about her legs!."
and another
three guys met up in heaven at the gates and st!.peter said to the first man, how many times were you unfaithfull the man replied two, st!. peter said ok then you get this compact car to drive in heaven!. St!. peter turned to the second man and asked him the same question, he replied once, St!. peter said ok then you get this midsized car to drive in heaven!. When he asked the third man he said none, i have remained faithful so he gave him a luxury car to drive,
the next day the three meet at a stop light the first two notice that the thrid is crying, what's wrong they ask him, you should be happy with that luxuary car you are driving, the man turns and responds, i am but i just passed my wife and she was on a skateboard!.Www@Enter-QA@Com
Ok so there once was a rich woman who had a husband, they had 3 kids!. the husband had a heart attack and died, the She remarried and had 4 more kids, he also had a heart attack and died, she remarried again and had 6 kids this time, but alas her new husband died too!. So she remarries yet again this time having 8 kids!. the husband dies, finally the woman dies
At the funeral a close friend says to the priest, "well at least they will be together now"!. The priest asks, "yes but which husband are you talking about,"
The friend replies, "I was talking about her legs!."
and another
three guys met up in heaven at the gates and st!.peter said to the first man, how many times were you unfaithfull the man replied two, st!. peter said ok then you get this compact car to drive in heaven!. St!. peter turned to the second man and asked him the same question, he replied once, St!. peter said ok then you get this midsized car to drive in heaven!. When he asked the third man he said none, i have remained faithful so he gave him a luxury car to drive,
the next day the three meet at a stop light the first two notice that the thrid is crying, what's wrong they ask him, you should be happy with that luxuary car you are driving, the man turns and responds, i am but i just passed my wife and she was on a skateboard!.Www@Enter-QA@Com
There were 3 frogs!.
Poop!.
Shut Up!.
And manners!.
all three are going down the highway at 100mph and poop jumps out the window!. Manners follows!. So shut up goes to the nearest police station and the officer says "hello son whats your name!?" and the frog says "SHUT UP" and the officer goes "excuse me!?!" and the rog says "SHUT UP" and the officer asks "where are your manners!?!!"!.!.!.and shut up says "back on the high way picking up poop"Www@Enter-QA@Com
Poop!.
Shut Up!.
And manners!.
all three are going down the highway at 100mph and poop jumps out the window!. Manners follows!. So shut up goes to the nearest police station and the officer says "hello son whats your name!?" and the frog says "SHUT UP" and the officer goes "excuse me!?!" and the rog says "SHUT UP" and the officer asks "where are your manners!?!!"!.!.!.and shut up says "back on the high way picking up poop"Www@Enter-QA@Com
ok this is long!.!.!.!.ok two women died and they both went to heaven!.!.!.the first lady said how did you die!.!.she said oh i got stuck in the Freezer to long and i froze!.!.she second lady said oh that must have been bad!!!the first lady said no i got use to it!.!.the 2d lady sd oh!.!.and the 1st lady said how did you die!.!.!.she said i thought my husband was cheating on me so one day i came homes and he was on the couch and i looked and looked for a women i looked the bedroom the living room but i didn't see no one!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!.!.!. I DIDN'T LOOK IN THE FREEZER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!you get it the first women was the women that the 2d women husband was cheating on!!!!!she was in the freezer hiding!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Www@Enter-QA@Com
what do you call a herd of masturbating cows!?!?!?!?!?!?
beef stokenoff
(like the food) lololWww@Enter-QA@Com
beef stokenoff
(like the food) lololWww@Enter-QA@Com
-what does a smart blonde and a UFO have in common!?
-you hear about them but dont see anyWww@Enter-QA@Com
-you hear about them but dont see anyWww@Enter-QA@Com