Tell me a joke ?!
Question: Tell me a joke !?
I'm looking for some jokes!. The funniest and most original one wins best answer!.
GoWww@Enter-QA@Com
GoWww@Enter-QA@Com
Answers:
The Perfect Man and the Perfect Woman
Once upon a time, a perfect man and a perfect woman met!. After a perfect courtship, they had a perfect wedding!. Their life together was, of course, perfect!.
One snowy, stormy Christmas Eve, this perfect couple was driving their perfect car (a Grand Caravan) along a winding road, when they noticed someone at the side of the road in distress!. Being the perfect couple, they stopped to help!.
There stood Santa Claus with a huge bundle of toys!. Not wanting to disappoint any children on the eve of Christmas, the perfect couple loaded Santa and his toys into their vehicle!. Soon they were driving along delivering the toys!.
Unfortunately, the driving conditions deteriorated and the perfect couple and Santa Claus had an accident!. Only one of them survived the accident!.
Who was the survivor!? (Scroll down for the answer!.)
The perfect woman survived!. She's the only one who really existed in the first place!. Everyone knows there is no Santa Claus and there is no such thing as a perfect man!.
Women stop reading here, that is the end of the joke!.
Men keep scrolling****!.
So, if there is no perfect man and no Santa Claus, the perfect woman must have been driving!. This explains why there was a car accident!.
By the way, if you're a woman and you're reading this, this illustrates another point: women never listen!.
Www@Enter-QA@Com
Once upon a time, a perfect man and a perfect woman met!. After a perfect courtship, they had a perfect wedding!. Their life together was, of course, perfect!.
One snowy, stormy Christmas Eve, this perfect couple was driving their perfect car (a Grand Caravan) along a winding road, when they noticed someone at the side of the road in distress!. Being the perfect couple, they stopped to help!.
There stood Santa Claus with a huge bundle of toys!. Not wanting to disappoint any children on the eve of Christmas, the perfect couple loaded Santa and his toys into their vehicle!. Soon they were driving along delivering the toys!.
Unfortunately, the driving conditions deteriorated and the perfect couple and Santa Claus had an accident!. Only one of them survived the accident!.
Who was the survivor!? (Scroll down for the answer!.)
The perfect woman survived!. She's the only one who really existed in the first place!. Everyone knows there is no Santa Claus and there is no such thing as a perfect man!.
Women stop reading here, that is the end of the joke!.
Men keep scrolling****!.
So, if there is no perfect man and no Santa Claus, the perfect woman must have been driving!. This explains why there was a car accident!.
By the way, if you're a woman and you're reading this, this illustrates another point: women never listen!.
Www@Enter-QA@Com
the pope and a cardinal were out golfing on a Sunday morning and the pope was getting ready to tee off!. He swung and completely missed the ball and when he noticed that he did, he said "Sh*t!, I missed!" !. The cardinal was a little concerned and said to the pope, "maybe you should watch what you say, you know that the Lord can hear everything!" The pope said "oh, sorry, I'll be more careful"!. finally hitting the ball, they go to find it and discover that it's in a sand trap!. The rightfully frustrated Pope goes into the sand trap and swings and messes again!. "SH*T I MISSED!" yelled the pope!. "watch what you say" the cardinal warned!. The pope, really frustrated swings and misses a third time!. "SH*T I Mi!.!.!. Just then the sky turned all stormy and a bolt of lightening hits the cardinal!. "Sh*t I missed!" yelled God!.
heard that at a Willie Nelson concert!.!.!.Www@Enter-QA@Com
heard that at a Willie Nelson concert!.!.!.Www@Enter-QA@Com
How do you make a slow dog fast!?
Don't feed it
What's more powerful than God, more evil than the devil and if you eat it you die!?
Nothing
Now here's something to say when people ask you do you take drugs:
"I tried sniffing coke once but the ice cubes kept getting stuck!."
Blond Jokes:
There was three construction workers!. One blond, one red head, and one brunette!. On there break, they sat down to eat there lunch!. They were enraged when they saw that they had the same lunches as they've had for the past 4 weeks!. "If I get this one more time, I'm gonna jump off this building and killed myself" said the red head!. The other two agreed with him!. The next day, they had the same lunches and jumped to their deaths!.
"If I new he didn't like what I made so much, I would have made him something else!." sobbed the brunettes wife!. The Red heads wife agreed!. They looked towards the blonds wife!. "What!?" she said "he makes his own lunch!."Www@Enter-QA@Com
Don't feed it
What's more powerful than God, more evil than the devil and if you eat it you die!?
Nothing
Now here's something to say when people ask you do you take drugs:
"I tried sniffing coke once but the ice cubes kept getting stuck!."
Blond Jokes:
There was three construction workers!. One blond, one red head, and one brunette!. On there break, they sat down to eat there lunch!. They were enraged when they saw that they had the same lunches as they've had for the past 4 weeks!. "If I get this one more time, I'm gonna jump off this building and killed myself" said the red head!. The other two agreed with him!. The next day, they had the same lunches and jumped to their deaths!.
"If I new he didn't like what I made so much, I would have made him something else!." sobbed the brunettes wife!. The Red heads wife agreed!. They looked towards the blonds wife!. "What!?" she said "he makes his own lunch!."Www@Enter-QA@Com
A Brunette, a Redhead, and a Blonde escape a burning
Building by climbing to the roof!. The Firemen are on the street below, holding
a blanket for them to jump into!.
The firemen yell to the Brunette, "Jump! Jump! It's your only chance to
survive!"
The Brunette jumps and SWISHES! The firemen yank the blanket away!.!.!.the
Brunette slams into the sidewalk like a tomato!.
"C'mon! Jump! You got to jump!' say the firemen to the
Redhead!.
"Oh no! You're going to pull the blanket away!" says the redhead!.
"No! Its Brunettes we can't stand! We're OK with
Redheads!"
"OK" says the Redhead, and she jumps!. SWISH! The
Firemen yank the blanket away, and the lady is flattened on the pavement like
a pancake!.
Finally, the Blonde steps to the edge of the roof!. Again,The firemen yell
"Jump! You have to jump!"
"No way! You're just going to pull the blanket away!" yelled the Blonde!.
"No! Really! You have to jump! We won't pull the blanket away!"
"Look," the Blonde says, "Nothing you say is going to
Convince me that you're not going to pull the blanket away! So what I want you
to do is put the blanket down, and back away from it !. !. !."
Www@Enter-QA@Com
Building by climbing to the roof!. The Firemen are on the street below, holding
a blanket for them to jump into!.
The firemen yell to the Brunette, "Jump! Jump! It's your only chance to
survive!"
The Brunette jumps and SWISHES! The firemen yank the blanket away!.!.!.the
Brunette slams into the sidewalk like a tomato!.
"C'mon! Jump! You got to jump!' say the firemen to the
Redhead!.
"Oh no! You're going to pull the blanket away!" says the redhead!.
"No! Its Brunettes we can't stand! We're OK with
Redheads!"
"OK" says the Redhead, and she jumps!. SWISH! The
Firemen yank the blanket away, and the lady is flattened on the pavement like
a pancake!.
Finally, the Blonde steps to the edge of the roof!. Again,The firemen yell
"Jump! You have to jump!"
"No way! You're just going to pull the blanket away!" yelled the Blonde!.
"No! Really! You have to jump! We won't pull the blanket away!"
"Look," the Blonde says, "Nothing you say is going to
Convince me that you're not going to pull the blanket away! So what I want you
to do is put the blanket down, and back away from it !. !. !."
Www@Enter-QA@Com
How do mexicans take a family photo!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.They jump in the back of a pick-up truck, run a red light and wait for the picture to come in the mail!.
There was a white man, a mexican, and a black man!.!.they all went to hell and were abused by satan when the devil finally decides to qive them a chance to qo to heaven!.!.!.he qoes to the white man and says if i touch your penis and it melts u have to be an eternal slave 2 me if it doesnt i will send u to heaven!.!.so he touches it and it melts so he becomes a slave,!.!.the same thing happenz to tha mexican!.!.and finally wen the devil goes to the blk man it doesnt melt so he trys it again!.!.still doesnt melt so the devil asks why wont your penis melt!? Tha black man replys ,chocolate melts in your mouth!.!.!.Not in your hands!
Www@Enter-QA@Com
There was a white man, a mexican, and a black man!.!.they all went to hell and were abused by satan when the devil finally decides to qive them a chance to qo to heaven!.!.!.he qoes to the white man and says if i touch your penis and it melts u have to be an eternal slave 2 me if it doesnt i will send u to heaven!.!.so he touches it and it melts so he becomes a slave,!.!.the same thing happenz to tha mexican!.!.and finally wen the devil goes to the blk man it doesnt melt so he trys it again!.!.still doesnt melt so the devil asks why wont your penis melt!? Tha black man replys ,chocolate melts in your mouth!.!.!.Not in your hands!
Www@Enter-QA@Com
There once was a lonely wife that was having an affair!.
Well one day when she was in the bedroom with her lover she heard her husband come home, she quickly shoved the man in the closet!.
Suddenly the man realized the womans young son was in the closet with him!. "It's dark in here", he said!. "Yes it is", replied the man!.
"I'll give you this baseball for 200 dollars!.", said the boy!. "You're crazy", said the man!."I'll tell daddy what i seen in here"!. "Okay deal", said the man!.
The next day the little boy was hiding in the closet again while his mother and her lover were in the bedroom!. And again the man was shoved into the closet!. "it's dark in here!.", "Why yes it is!."
"Want to buy my baseball glove for 100 dollars!." The man sighed and wrote him a check for 100 dollars!.
Later that day the father of the little boy called him outside to play a game of catch!. The little boy tried to explain he sold the glove and ball
for a total of 300 dollars!. The father was angry at the boy for lying and quickly brought him to the local church to confess!.
He went into the church and sat into a chair!. "It's dark in here!.", said the boy!. Suddenly there was a pause and the priest replied,"OH NOT THIS SH** AGAIN!"Www@Enter-QA@Com
Well one day when she was in the bedroom with her lover she heard her husband come home, she quickly shoved the man in the closet!.
Suddenly the man realized the womans young son was in the closet with him!. "It's dark in here", he said!. "Yes it is", replied the man!.
"I'll give you this baseball for 200 dollars!.", said the boy!. "You're crazy", said the man!."I'll tell daddy what i seen in here"!. "Okay deal", said the man!.
The next day the little boy was hiding in the closet again while his mother and her lover were in the bedroom!. And again the man was shoved into the closet!. "it's dark in here!.", "Why yes it is!."
"Want to buy my baseball glove for 100 dollars!." The man sighed and wrote him a check for 100 dollars!.
Later that day the father of the little boy called him outside to play a game of catch!. The little boy tried to explain he sold the glove and ball
for a total of 300 dollars!. The father was angry at the boy for lying and quickly brought him to the local church to confess!.
He went into the church and sat into a chair!. "It's dark in here!.", said the boy!. Suddenly there was a pause and the priest replied,"OH NOT THIS SH** AGAIN!"Www@Enter-QA@Com
ok, here it is!.!.!.!. these to people walk in and the one guy ask," why is your nose so red and puffy!?" because i stoped to smell a brose!." Brose!? theres no B in rose!." well there was in that one!."Www@Enter-QA@Com
K it's corny but!.!.!.
Why did Mozart get rid of all his chickens!?
Answer: Because they kept saying Bach, Bach, Bach!Www@Enter-QA@Com
Why did Mozart get rid of all his chickens!?
Answer: Because they kept saying Bach, Bach, Bach!Www@Enter-QA@Com
hav u heard the forcast
sunny today hot tamale
why is 6 afraid of 7, 7 8 9
haha so originalWww@Enter-QA@Com
sunny today hot tamale
why is 6 afraid of 7, 7 8 9
haha so originalWww@Enter-QA@Com
Customer: Waiter, there's a bug in my soup!.
Waiter: Be quiet, sir or everyone will want one!.Www@Enter-QA@Com
Waiter: Be quiet, sir or everyone will want one!.Www@Enter-QA@Com
whats a cats favorite car!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.a caddilac!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.your mom so poor her boobs are real!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.your so ghetto for thanksgiving you ate kfcWww@Enter-QA@Com
where is your wife!?
she is down in the caribian
jamaica!?
nah, she wanted to goWww@Enter-QA@Com
she is down in the caribian
jamaica!?
nah, she wanted to goWww@Enter-QA@Com
My family all laughed when I said I wanted to be a stand up comedian
well
they are not laughing now Www@Enter-QA@Com
well
they are not laughing now Www@Enter-QA@Com
Chuck norris is the reason waldo is hiding!.!.!.Www@Enter-QA@Com
what did the 0 say to the 8
nice belt!.Www@Enter-QA@Com
nice belt!.Www@Enter-QA@Com
go to comedy central!.com they have a lot of really great ones!. :)Www@Enter-QA@Com
a guy walks up to a girl and says "did you just fart!? cuz u sure are blowing me away"Www@Enter-QA@Com
You're so inhuman that when you were born the machine said "error!."Www@Enter-QA@Com