Tell me a funny joke pleaseeeeeeeeeeeee?!
Question: Tell me a funny joke pleaseeeeeeeeeeeee!?
idc if it's sick or anything just gotta be funny easy 10 pointsWww@Enter-QA@Com
Answers:
A little bird was flying south for the winter!. It was so cold the bird froze and fell to the ground into a large field!. While he was lying there, a cow came by and dropped some dung on him!. As the frozen bird lay there in the pile of cow dung, he began to realize how warm he was!. The dung was actually thawing him out! He lay there all warm and happy, and soon began to sing for joy!.
A passing cat heard the bird singing and came to investigate!. Following the sound, the cat discovered the bird under the pile of cow dung, and promptly dug him out and ate him!.
Morals of the story:
(1) Not everyone who shits on you is your enemy!.
(2) Not everyone who gets you out of **** is your friend!.
(3) And when you're in deep ****, it's best to keep your mouth shut!
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A passing cat heard the bird singing and came to investigate!. Following the sound, the cat discovered the bird under the pile of cow dung, and promptly dug him out and ate him!.
Morals of the story:
(1) Not everyone who shits on you is your enemy!.
(2) Not everyone who gets you out of **** is your friend!.
(3) And when you're in deep ****, it's best to keep your mouth shut!
Www@Enter-QA@Com
1) This young boy walks in on his parents having sex and gets pissed!. His father however just laughed at him, so the the boy walks down the hall into his grandma's room and starts having sex with her!. His father walks in to check on him and sees what's going on, and yells, hey man WTF!. Then the son says uh hun you see it's not so funny when it's your mama is it!?
2) There was this sailor and this soldier that had both died in a war at the same time and they both arrived in Heaven at the same time!. St!. Peter came and gave both of them their wings, but he warned them that if at any given time they had any inappropriate or unclean thoughts, their wings would automatically fall off!. Just as they had put their wings on, this beautiful angel shimmed passed them with a nice smile and smellying real flesh and clean, and the soldiers wings fell right off!. Then when the soldier bent over to pick up his wings, the sailors wings fell off!.
3) There was this couple that had been married for ten years, and for their tenth year anniversary they decided to go back to the same hotel they were in ten years ago for their honeymoon!. They went back to the hotel and even got in the same hotel room they were in when they honeymooned!.They drunk champaigne and everything was just perfect just as it was ten years ago when they got married!. They where starring at each other from across the room in their robes, then they took the robes off!. At a given signal they ran towards each other, but since they had been drinking all that champaigne they missed each other and the cat flew right out the window like two flights down!. The bell man came rushing outside because he heard all this noise!. The man says get me something to cover myself with i'm naked here I need to walk through the lobby so that I could get back up to my room!. The bell man says you don't need nothing to cover yourself with, if you want to get back to your room, you can just walk on through the lobby because ain't nobody in the lobby!. The mans says what you mean ain't nobody in the lobby, the bell man says ain't nobody in the lobby because everybody left to go upstairs to watch 'em take this chick off the door knob!.
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2) There was this sailor and this soldier that had both died in a war at the same time and they both arrived in Heaven at the same time!. St!. Peter came and gave both of them their wings, but he warned them that if at any given time they had any inappropriate or unclean thoughts, their wings would automatically fall off!. Just as they had put their wings on, this beautiful angel shimmed passed them with a nice smile and smellying real flesh and clean, and the soldiers wings fell right off!. Then when the soldier bent over to pick up his wings, the sailors wings fell off!.
3) There was this couple that had been married for ten years, and for their tenth year anniversary they decided to go back to the same hotel they were in ten years ago for their honeymoon!. They went back to the hotel and even got in the same hotel room they were in when they honeymooned!.They drunk champaigne and everything was just perfect just as it was ten years ago when they got married!. They where starring at each other from across the room in their robes, then they took the robes off!. At a given signal they ran towards each other, but since they had been drinking all that champaigne they missed each other and the cat flew right out the window like two flights down!. The bell man came rushing outside because he heard all this noise!. The man says get me something to cover myself with i'm naked here I need to walk through the lobby so that I could get back up to my room!. The bell man says you don't need nothing to cover yourself with, if you want to get back to your room, you can just walk on through the lobby because ain't nobody in the lobby!. The mans says what you mean ain't nobody in the lobby, the bell man says ain't nobody in the lobby because everybody left to go upstairs to watch 'em take this chick off the door knob!.
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a man and a young boy were walking through the woods at 3 in the morning, as they were walking, the boy piped up and said "mister it sure is scary out here!"!. the man replied "you think your scared!?, i gotta walk back by myself!" lmfao!.
here's another one:
a woman is in an elevator on her way to work, as the doors start to close, from out of nowhere a pirate says "hey hold the door"!. she holds the door and he hops on!. as their both heading up, the woman glances over at the pirate and notices a steering wheel painted on the front of his pants!. curiously she asks "excuse me sir, i could'nt help but notice that you have a steering wheel on your crotch, may i ask why!?" the pirate replies "AAAR,!.!. IT'S DRIVING ME NUTS!!"!.
hope these where funny! :)Www@Enter-QA@Com
here's another one:
a woman is in an elevator on her way to work, as the doors start to close, from out of nowhere a pirate says "hey hold the door"!. she holds the door and he hops on!. as their both heading up, the woman glances over at the pirate and notices a steering wheel painted on the front of his pants!. curiously she asks "excuse me sir, i could'nt help but notice that you have a steering wheel on your crotch, may i ask why!?" the pirate replies "AAAR,!.!. IT'S DRIVING ME NUTS!!"!.
hope these where funny! :)Www@Enter-QA@Com
A blonde and a lawyer are seated next to each other on a flight from LA to NY!. The lawyer asks if she would like to play a fun game!? The blonde, tired, just wants to take a nap!. Politely she declines and rolls over to the window to catch a few winks!. The lawyer persists and explains that the game is easy and a lot of fun!.
He explains, "I ask you a question, and if you don't know the answer, you pay me $5!.00, and vise versa!."
Again, she declines and tries to get some sleep!. The lawyer, now agitated, says, "Okay, if you don't know the answer you pay me $5!.00, and if I don't know the answer, I will pay you $500!.00!." This catches the blonde's attention and, figuring there will be no end to this torment unless she plays, agrees to the game!.
The lawyer asks the first question!. "What's the distance from the earth to the moon!?" The blonde doesn't say a word, reaches into her purse, pulls out a $5!.00 bill and hands it to the lawyer!.
"Okay," says the lawyer," your turn!." She asks the lawyer, "What goes up a hill with three legs and comes down with four legs!?" The lawyer, puzzled, takes out his laptop computer and searches all his references!. No answer!. He taps into the air phone with his modem and searches the Internet and the Library of Congress!. No answer!. Frustrated, he sends e-mails to all his friends and coworkers, to no avail!. After an hour, he wakes the blonde and hands her $500!.00!.
The blonde says, "Thank you," puts her head on the pillow and goes back to sleep!.
The lawyer, who is more than a little miffed, wakes the blonde and asks, "Well, what's the answer!?" Without a word, the blonde reaches into her purse, hands the lawyer $5!.00, and goes back to sleep!.
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He explains, "I ask you a question, and if you don't know the answer, you pay me $5!.00, and vise versa!."
Again, she declines and tries to get some sleep!. The lawyer, now agitated, says, "Okay, if you don't know the answer you pay me $5!.00, and if I don't know the answer, I will pay you $500!.00!." This catches the blonde's attention and, figuring there will be no end to this torment unless she plays, agrees to the game!.
The lawyer asks the first question!. "What's the distance from the earth to the moon!?" The blonde doesn't say a word, reaches into her purse, pulls out a $5!.00 bill and hands it to the lawyer!.
"Okay," says the lawyer," your turn!." She asks the lawyer, "What goes up a hill with three legs and comes down with four legs!?" The lawyer, puzzled, takes out his laptop computer and searches all his references!. No answer!. He taps into the air phone with his modem and searches the Internet and the Library of Congress!. No answer!. Frustrated, he sends e-mails to all his friends and coworkers, to no avail!. After an hour, he wakes the blonde and hands her $500!.00!.
The blonde says, "Thank you," puts her head on the pillow and goes back to sleep!.
The lawyer, who is more than a little miffed, wakes the blonde and asks, "Well, what's the answer!?" Without a word, the blonde reaches into her purse, hands the lawyer $5!.00, and goes back to sleep!.
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I'm not that good at telling jokes, but try these two!.
2 Vultures on a Perch, One Vulture says can you smell fish!?
A rabbit is walking down the road, he feels hungry, so he goes in to his local pub, he asks the landlord for a cheese and tomato toastie, and a pint of beer!. He enjoys his meal and leaves the pub!. The next he is in the same place, and is hungry again, so he goes in the pub, and this time has a ham and cheese toastie and a pint of beer!. The next day he comes in again and this time has a tuna toastie and a pint of beer!. As he leaves the pub, he drops dead!. The next day his ghost comes into the pub, the landlord is very startled by this, he asks the ghost what happened, and the ghost reply's I died of Mixin My Toasties!.Www@Enter-QA@Com
2 Vultures on a Perch, One Vulture says can you smell fish!?
A rabbit is walking down the road, he feels hungry, so he goes in to his local pub, he asks the landlord for a cheese and tomato toastie, and a pint of beer!. He enjoys his meal and leaves the pub!. The next he is in the same place, and is hungry again, so he goes in the pub, and this time has a ham and cheese toastie and a pint of beer!. The next day he comes in again and this time has a tuna toastie and a pint of beer!. As he leaves the pub, he drops dead!. The next day his ghost comes into the pub, the landlord is very startled by this, he asks the ghost what happened, and the ghost reply's I died of Mixin My Toasties!.Www@Enter-QA@Com
two goldfish were in a tank!.
one goldfish said to the other: you man the guns, and I'll drive!.Www@Enter-QA@Com
one goldfish said to the other: you man the guns, and I'll drive!.Www@Enter-QA@Com
wat do u cal a blonde w/ 2 brain cells!?
pregnant Www@Enter-QA@Com
pregnant Www@Enter-QA@Com