Which type of monkey is a bit of a wimp ?!
Question: Which type of monkey is a bit of a wimp !?
A chim pansy (chimpanzee)
Any animal jokes anyone !?Www@Enter-QA@Com
Any animal jokes anyone !?Www@Enter-QA@Com
Answers:
What happened to the frog's car when his parking meter expired!?
It got toad!!
What do you call a frog that crosses the road, jumps in a muddy puddle, and crosses the road again!?
A dirty double-crosser!
The little camel went to his mother and asked, "Mother, why do we camels have such big eyes!?"
She looked on him lovingly and replied, "You see, my son, when we are walking in the dessert and the wind starts to blowing and there's sand everywhere, we need these big eyes to keep an eye on one another so that we don't get lost!."
"Oh!" he said!. "And why do we have such huge feet!?
"Well," she said, "they allow us to walk easily in the dessert sands and help us avoid sinking into the dunes!."
"Wow," he said, "great equipment!. What the heck is this stuff on our backs for!?"
"You see," his mother informed, "we can walk for days, even weeks without food or water, so we use it to store fat during those times!. But why do you ask me all these obvious questions!?"
"Well, mother," said the young camel, "I was just wondering, if we've got all of this great stuff, what are we doing in the zoo!?"
Why does a Rabbit have a shiny nose!?
Because its powder puff is on the other end!.Www@Enter-QA@Com
It got toad!!
What do you call a frog that crosses the road, jumps in a muddy puddle, and crosses the road again!?
A dirty double-crosser!
The little camel went to his mother and asked, "Mother, why do we camels have such big eyes!?"
She looked on him lovingly and replied, "You see, my son, when we are walking in the dessert and the wind starts to blowing and there's sand everywhere, we need these big eyes to keep an eye on one another so that we don't get lost!."
"Oh!" he said!. "And why do we have such huge feet!?
"Well," she said, "they allow us to walk easily in the dessert sands and help us avoid sinking into the dunes!."
"Wow," he said, "great equipment!. What the heck is this stuff on our backs for!?"
"You see," his mother informed, "we can walk for days, even weeks without food or water, so we use it to store fat during those times!. But why do you ask me all these obvious questions!?"
"Well, mother," said the young camel, "I was just wondering, if we've got all of this great stuff, what are we doing in the zoo!?"
Why does a Rabbit have a shiny nose!?
Because its powder puff is on the other end!.Www@Enter-QA@Com
A large female elephant has a big thorn in her foot!.
No one to help her until a small monkey says to her,
"I will take out the thorn if you let me have sex with you"!.
Elephant is in so much pain so she agrees!.
The monkey pulls out the thorn and says "O!.K!. here I go"
Round the back he is giving it all he can!.
The other monkeys find this hilarious and throw coco nuts
at the elephant!. One hits her right between the eyes and
she trumpets loudly with her trunk in the air!.
The little monkey round the back hearing her trumpet, shouts
"Yeeeees, scream b*tch scream"!.Www@Enter-QA@Com
No one to help her until a small monkey says to her,
"I will take out the thorn if you let me have sex with you"!.
Elephant is in so much pain so she agrees!.
The monkey pulls out the thorn and says "O!.K!. here I go"
Round the back he is giving it all he can!.
The other monkeys find this hilarious and throw coco nuts
at the elephant!. One hits her right between the eyes and
she trumpets loudly with her trunk in the air!.
The little monkey round the back hearing her trumpet, shouts
"Yeeeees, scream b*tch scream"!.Www@Enter-QA@Com
Purchasing a new bird
Panda After many years of marriage, a husband has turned into a couch potato, became completely inattentive to his wife and sat guzzling beer and watching TV all day!. The wife was dismayed because no matter what she did to attract the husband's attention, he'd just shrug her off with some bored comment!.
This went on for many months and the wife was going crazy with boredom!. Then one day at a pet store, the wife saw this big, ugly, snorting bird with a hairy chest, powerful hairy forearms, beady eyes and dribble running down the side of its mouth!.
The shopkeeper, observing her fascination with the bird, told her it was a special imported "Goony bird" and it had a very peculiar trait!. To demonstrate, he exclaimed, "Goony bird! The table!"
Immediately, the Goony bird flew off its perch and with single-minded fury attacked the table and smashed it into a hundred little pieces with its powerful forearms and claws! To demonstrate some more, the shopkeeper said, "Goony bird! The shelf!"
Again the Goony bird turned to the shelf and demolished it in seconds!.
"Wow!" said the wife, "If this doesn't attract my husband's attention, nothing will!" So she bought the bird and took it home!.
When she entered the house, the husband was, as usual, sprawled on the sofa guzzling beer and watching the game!. "Honey!" she exclaimed, "I've got a surprise for you! A Goony bird!"
The husband, in his usual bored tone replied, "Goony Bird, my ***!"Www@Enter-QA@Com
Panda After many years of marriage, a husband has turned into a couch potato, became completely inattentive to his wife and sat guzzling beer and watching TV all day!. The wife was dismayed because no matter what she did to attract the husband's attention, he'd just shrug her off with some bored comment!.
This went on for many months and the wife was going crazy with boredom!. Then one day at a pet store, the wife saw this big, ugly, snorting bird with a hairy chest, powerful hairy forearms, beady eyes and dribble running down the side of its mouth!.
The shopkeeper, observing her fascination with the bird, told her it was a special imported "Goony bird" and it had a very peculiar trait!. To demonstrate, he exclaimed, "Goony bird! The table!"
Immediately, the Goony bird flew off its perch and with single-minded fury attacked the table and smashed it into a hundred little pieces with its powerful forearms and claws! To demonstrate some more, the shopkeeper said, "Goony bird! The shelf!"
Again the Goony bird turned to the shelf and demolished it in seconds!.
"Wow!" said the wife, "If this doesn't attract my husband's attention, nothing will!" So she bought the bird and took it home!.
When she entered the house, the husband was, as usual, sprawled on the sofa guzzling beer and watching the game!. "Honey!" she exclaimed, "I've got a surprise for you! A Goony bird!"
The husband, in his usual bored tone replied, "Goony Bird, my ***!"Www@Enter-QA@Com
lol!! Cute!!Www@Enter-QA@Com