Order,Order, (Lawyer Joke)?!
Question: Order,Order, (Lawyer Joke)!?
These are actual quotes of what people said in court, word for word:
Q: What gear were you in at the moment of the impact!?
A: Gucci sweats and Reeboks
Q: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at all!?
A: Yes!.
Q: And in what ways does it affect your memory!?
A: I forget!.
Q: You forget!. Can you give us an example of something that you've forgotten!?
Q: What was the first thing your husband said to you when he woke that morning!?
A: He said, "Where am I, Cathy!?"
Q: And why did that upset you!?
A: My name is Susan!.
Q: And where was the location of the accident!?
A: Approximately milepost 499!.
Q: And where is milepost 499!?
A: Probably between milepost 498 and 500!.
Q: She had three children, right!?
A: Yes!.
Q: How many were boys!?
A: None!.
Q: Were there any girls!?
Q: You say the stairs went down to the basement!?
A: Yes!.
Q: And these stairs, did they go up also!?
Q: How was your first marriage terminated!?
A: By death!.
Q: And by whose death was it terminated!?
Q: Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a deposition notice which I sent to your attorney!?
A: No, this is how I dress when I go to work!.
Q: Doctor, how many autopsies have you performed on dead people!?
A: All my autopsies are performed on dead people!.
Q: All your responses must be oral, OK!? What school did you go to!?
A: Oral!?
Q: Do you recall the time that you examined the body!?
A: The autopsy started around 8:30 p!.m!.
Q: And Mr!. Dennington was dead at the time!?
A: No, he was sitting on the table wondering why I was doing an autopsy!.
Q: Are you qualified to give a urine sample!?
Q: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse!?
A: No!.
Q: Did you check for blood pressure!?
A: No!.
Q: Did you check for breathing!?
A: No!.
Q: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy!?
A: No!.
Q: How can you be so sure, Doctor!?
A: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar!.
Q: But could the patient have still been alive nevertheless!?
A: It is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law somewhere!.
Q: The youngest son, the twenty-year old, how old is he!?
Q: Were you present when your picture was taken!?
Q: Was it you or your younger brother who was killed in the war!?
Q: Did he kill you!?
Q: How far apart were the vehicles at the time of the collision
Q: You were there until the time you left, is that true!?
Q: How many times have you committed suicide!?
Q: So the date of conception (of the baby) was August 8th!?
A: Yes!.
Q: And what were you doing at that time!?
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Q: What gear were you in at the moment of the impact!?
A: Gucci sweats and Reeboks
Q: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at all!?
A: Yes!.
Q: And in what ways does it affect your memory!?
A: I forget!.
Q: You forget!. Can you give us an example of something that you've forgotten!?
Q: What was the first thing your husband said to you when he woke that morning!?
A: He said, "Where am I, Cathy!?"
Q: And why did that upset you!?
A: My name is Susan!.
Q: And where was the location of the accident!?
A: Approximately milepost 499!.
Q: And where is milepost 499!?
A: Probably between milepost 498 and 500!.
Q: She had three children, right!?
A: Yes!.
Q: How many were boys!?
A: None!.
Q: Were there any girls!?
Q: You say the stairs went down to the basement!?
A: Yes!.
Q: And these stairs, did they go up also!?
Q: How was your first marriage terminated!?
A: By death!.
Q: And by whose death was it terminated!?
Q: Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a deposition notice which I sent to your attorney!?
A: No, this is how I dress when I go to work!.
Q: Doctor, how many autopsies have you performed on dead people!?
A: All my autopsies are performed on dead people!.
Q: All your responses must be oral, OK!? What school did you go to!?
A: Oral!?
Q: Do you recall the time that you examined the body!?
A: The autopsy started around 8:30 p!.m!.
Q: And Mr!. Dennington was dead at the time!?
A: No, he was sitting on the table wondering why I was doing an autopsy!.
Q: Are you qualified to give a urine sample!?
Q: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse!?
A: No!.
Q: Did you check for blood pressure!?
A: No!.
Q: Did you check for breathing!?
A: No!.
Q: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy!?
A: No!.
Q: How can you be so sure, Doctor!?
A: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar!.
Q: But could the patient have still been alive nevertheless!?
A: It is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law somewhere!.
Q: The youngest son, the twenty-year old, how old is he!?
Q: Were you present when your picture was taken!?
Q: Was it you or your younger brother who was killed in the war!?
Q: Did he kill you!?
Q: How far apart were the vehicles at the time of the collision
Q: You were there until the time you left, is that true!?
Q: How many times have you committed suicide!?
Q: So the date of conception (of the baby) was August 8th!?
A: Yes!.
Q: And what were you doing at that time!?
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Answers:
YAY! another hancock amazing joke!.!.!.
sorry i havent been answering all your jokes/questions!.!.!. bit busy!.!.!. that life!Www@Enter-QA@Com
sorry i havent been answering all your jokes/questions!.!.!. bit busy!.!.!. that life!Www@Enter-QA@Com
And to think what some of these stuffed mannikins earn!
I say, let's give then a real challenge!
Potential lawyers would have to survive on y/a for a year, and answer at least 10,000 questions witrh a minimum 20% best answer rating!.
THEN they can become lawyers!
Www@Enter-QA@Com
I say, let's give then a real challenge!
Potential lawyers would have to survive on y/a for a year, and answer at least 10,000 questions witrh a minimum 20% best answer rating!.
THEN they can become lawyers!
Www@Enter-QA@Com
Hahahaha lmao
these are hilarious =D
star for u Www@Enter-QA@Com
these are hilarious =D
star for u Www@Enter-QA@Com
they were funny indeedioWww@Enter-QA@Com
LOL the Q is soo stupid
LOLOLOLWww@Enter-QA@Com
LOLOLOLWww@Enter-QA@Com
haha!.!.!.good onesWww@Enter-QA@Com
very funny
thnx 4 sharing with us
*Www@Enter-QA@Com
thnx 4 sharing with us
*Www@Enter-QA@Com
LOL that funnyWww@Enter-QA@Com
Lawyers, always good for a laughWww@Enter-QA@Com
These are so funny, star from me mateWww@Enter-QA@Com
Haha! Thanks for cheering me up!. Had a bad day at school!. Oh my god, I just realized this is my 5200th answer! Yay!Www@Enter-QA@Com
Not bad!.Www@Enter-QA@Com
lol it does make you wonder what is wrong with people those where funny have a *Www@Enter-QA@Com
lolWww@Enter-QA@Com
here comes another star!. you made my night!. thanks!. these are sad but very true!. Www@Enter-QA@Com