What are some hilarious jokes?!
Question: What are some hilarious jokes!?
Here's one:
Why does Piglet smell bad!?
Cause he plays with Pooh!
LOL
Best answer for funniest joke!Www@Enter-QA@Com
Why does Piglet smell bad!?
Cause he plays with Pooh!
LOL
Best answer for funniest joke!Www@Enter-QA@Com
Answers:
Blonde And The Horrible Accident
A blonde had totaled her car in a horrible accident!. It was a miracle to watch as she pulled herself from the wreckage without any bruises or injuries!. Bystanders were shocked when she proceeded to walk away with no shock on her face and began to apply fresh lipstick to her lips!. The state trooper chose this moment to drive up and question the girl!.
“My word!” the trooper gasped!. “Your car looks like an accordion that was stomped on by an elephant!. Are you OK ma’am!?”
“Yes, officer, I’m just fine” the blonde stated!.
“Well, how in the world did this happen!?” asked the officer as he looked over the wrecked car!.
“Officer, it was the strangest thing!” the blonde began!. I was driving along this road when from out of nowhere this TREE pops up in front of me!. So I swerved to the right, and there was another tree! I swerved to the left and there was ANOTHER tree! I served to the right and there was another tree! I swerved to the left and there was …!.”
“Uh, ma’am”, the officer said, “There isn’t a tree on this road for 30 miles!. That was your air freshener swinging back and forth!.”Www@Enter-QA@Com
A blonde had totaled her car in a horrible accident!. It was a miracle to watch as she pulled herself from the wreckage without any bruises or injuries!. Bystanders were shocked when she proceeded to walk away with no shock on her face and began to apply fresh lipstick to her lips!. The state trooper chose this moment to drive up and question the girl!.
“My word!” the trooper gasped!. “Your car looks like an accordion that was stomped on by an elephant!. Are you OK ma’am!?”
“Yes, officer, I’m just fine” the blonde stated!.
“Well, how in the world did this happen!?” asked the officer as he looked over the wrecked car!.
“Officer, it was the strangest thing!” the blonde began!. I was driving along this road when from out of nowhere this TREE pops up in front of me!. So I swerved to the right, and there was another tree! I swerved to the left and there was ANOTHER tree! I served to the right and there was another tree! I swerved to the left and there was …!.”
“Uh, ma’am”, the officer said, “There isn’t a tree on this road for 30 miles!. That was your air freshener swinging back and forth!.”Www@Enter-QA@Com
I hope you don't like lawyers- these are the 10 funniest lawyer jokes I know
1!. A very successful lawyer parked his brand-new Lexus in front of his office, ready to show it off to his colleagues!. As he got out, a truck passed too close and completely tore the door off of the driver's side!. The counselor immediately grabbed his cell phone, dialed 911, and within minutes a policeman pulled up!. Before the officer had a chance to ask any questions, the lawyer started screaming hysterically!. His Lexus, which he had just picked up the day before, was now completely ruined and would never be the same, no matter what the body shop did to it!. When the lawyer finally wound down from his ranting and raving, the officer shook his head in disgust and disbelief!. "I can't believe how materialistic you lawyers are," he said!. "You are so focused on your possessions that you don't notice anything else!." "How can you say such a thing!?" asked the lawyer!. The cop replied, "Don't you know that your left arm is missing from the elbow down!? It must have been torn off when the truck hit you!." "Ahhh!" screamed the lawyer!. "Where's my Rolex!"
2!. Why was the lawyer skimming the Bible right before he died!?
He was looking for loopholes!
3!. Q: What is the definition "lucky break!?"
A: When a busload of lawyers goes off a cliff!.
Q: What is the definition of a "crying shame"!?
A: There was an empty seat!.
4!. A guy phones a law firm and says, "I want to speak to my lawyer!." The receptionist says, "I'm sorry, but your lawyer died last week!." The next day the same guy phones the law firm and says, "I want to speak to my lawyer!." Once again the receptionist replies, "I'm sorry, but your lawyer died last week!." The next day the guy makes his regular call to the law firm and say, "I want to speak to my lawyer!." "Excuse me sir," the receptionist says, "but this is third time I've had to tell you that your lawyer died last week!. Why do you keep calling!?" The guy replies, "Because I love hearing it!"
5!. There was a contruction worker who was working on a building when he fell 15 stories to his bloody death!. He arrived at the pearly gates and St!. Peter said ''Oh, I am sorry, my son!. But you have been sentenced to hell!. The worker agreed -- not like he could do anything else -- and he was on his way!.
When he arrived, the devil looked at him and said, “Ah! A new slave!. We shall burn you and throw you in the fiery pits!.” Then the worker replied, “That wall could use a bit of patching!. I could fix it first and you could throw me in the pit afterward!.” So he fixed the wall!. Satan, intrigued, asked, “What else can you build!?” So the construction worker went about his job and made many improvements; in fact, by the time he was done, hell was a paradise!. It had air conditioning, pools, balconies, you name it!.
Within a few days, God phoned Satan and said, “I think there has been a mix-up!. That worker was originally supposed to come to heaven!.” Satan replied, “No way -- he's built all sorts of useful stuff for us!. We're keeping him!.” God then said, “Oh, yeah!? Well, I'll see you in court!. We're going to sue you for this man's soul and damages!. Satan just laughed: “And where are you going to find a lawyer!?”
6!. Two lawyers, Jon and Amanpreet, head out for their usual 9 holes of golf!. Jon offers Amanpreet a $50 bet!. Amanpreet agrees and they're off!. They shoot a great game!. After the 8th hole, Amanpreet is ahead by one stroke, but cuts his ball into the rough on the 9th!. ''Help me find my ball!. Look over there,'' he says to Jon!. After a few minutes, neither has any luck!. Since a lost ball carries a four point penalty, Amanpreet secretly pulls a ball from his pocket and tosses it to the ground!. ''I've found my ball!'' he announces!. ''After all of the years we've been partners and playing together," Jon says, "you'd cheat me out of a lousy 50 bucks!?'' ''What do you mean, cheat!? I found my ball sitting right there!'' ''And you're a liar, too!'' Jon says!. ''I'll have you know I've been STANDING on your ball for the last five minutes!''
7!. A man who was having heart trouble went to the doctor to see what his options were!. Naturally, the doctor recommended a heart transplant!. The man reluctantly agreed, and asked if there were any hearts immediately available, considering that money was no object!.
"I do have three hearts," said the doctor!. "The first is from an 18-year old kid, non-smoker, athletic, swimmer, with a great diet!. He hit his head on the swimming pool and died!. It's $100,000!. The second is from a marathon runner, 25 years old, great condition, very strong!. He got hit by a bus!. It's $150,000!. The third is from a heavy drinker, cigar smoker, steak lover!. It's $500,000!."
"Hey, why is that heart so expensive!? He lived a terrible life!"
"Yes, but it's from a laywer!. It's never been used!."
8!. Q: Hear about the terrorist that hijacked a 747 full of lawyers!?
A: He threatened to release one every hour if his demands weren't met
9!. Q: What do you call an honest lawyer!?
A: An oxymoron!.
10!. Q: What do you call one lawyer thrown off a bridge into a river!?
A: Pollution!.
Q: What do you call all the lawyers thrown off a bridge!?
A: Solution!.Www@Enter-QA@Com
1!. A very successful lawyer parked his brand-new Lexus in front of his office, ready to show it off to his colleagues!. As he got out, a truck passed too close and completely tore the door off of the driver's side!. The counselor immediately grabbed his cell phone, dialed 911, and within minutes a policeman pulled up!. Before the officer had a chance to ask any questions, the lawyer started screaming hysterically!. His Lexus, which he had just picked up the day before, was now completely ruined and would never be the same, no matter what the body shop did to it!. When the lawyer finally wound down from his ranting and raving, the officer shook his head in disgust and disbelief!. "I can't believe how materialistic you lawyers are," he said!. "You are so focused on your possessions that you don't notice anything else!." "How can you say such a thing!?" asked the lawyer!. The cop replied, "Don't you know that your left arm is missing from the elbow down!? It must have been torn off when the truck hit you!." "Ahhh!" screamed the lawyer!. "Where's my Rolex!"
2!. Why was the lawyer skimming the Bible right before he died!?
He was looking for loopholes!
3!. Q: What is the definition "lucky break!?"
A: When a busload of lawyers goes off a cliff!.
Q: What is the definition of a "crying shame"!?
A: There was an empty seat!.
4!. A guy phones a law firm and says, "I want to speak to my lawyer!." The receptionist says, "I'm sorry, but your lawyer died last week!." The next day the same guy phones the law firm and says, "I want to speak to my lawyer!." Once again the receptionist replies, "I'm sorry, but your lawyer died last week!." The next day the guy makes his regular call to the law firm and say, "I want to speak to my lawyer!." "Excuse me sir," the receptionist says, "but this is third time I've had to tell you that your lawyer died last week!. Why do you keep calling!?" The guy replies, "Because I love hearing it!"
5!. There was a contruction worker who was working on a building when he fell 15 stories to his bloody death!. He arrived at the pearly gates and St!. Peter said ''Oh, I am sorry, my son!. But you have been sentenced to hell!. The worker agreed -- not like he could do anything else -- and he was on his way!.
When he arrived, the devil looked at him and said, “Ah! A new slave!. We shall burn you and throw you in the fiery pits!.” Then the worker replied, “That wall could use a bit of patching!. I could fix it first and you could throw me in the pit afterward!.” So he fixed the wall!. Satan, intrigued, asked, “What else can you build!?” So the construction worker went about his job and made many improvements; in fact, by the time he was done, hell was a paradise!. It had air conditioning, pools, balconies, you name it!.
Within a few days, God phoned Satan and said, “I think there has been a mix-up!. That worker was originally supposed to come to heaven!.” Satan replied, “No way -- he's built all sorts of useful stuff for us!. We're keeping him!.” God then said, “Oh, yeah!? Well, I'll see you in court!. We're going to sue you for this man's soul and damages!. Satan just laughed: “And where are you going to find a lawyer!?”
6!. Two lawyers, Jon and Amanpreet, head out for their usual 9 holes of golf!. Jon offers Amanpreet a $50 bet!. Amanpreet agrees and they're off!. They shoot a great game!. After the 8th hole, Amanpreet is ahead by one stroke, but cuts his ball into the rough on the 9th!. ''Help me find my ball!. Look over there,'' he says to Jon!. After a few minutes, neither has any luck!. Since a lost ball carries a four point penalty, Amanpreet secretly pulls a ball from his pocket and tosses it to the ground!. ''I've found my ball!'' he announces!. ''After all of the years we've been partners and playing together," Jon says, "you'd cheat me out of a lousy 50 bucks!?'' ''What do you mean, cheat!? I found my ball sitting right there!'' ''And you're a liar, too!'' Jon says!. ''I'll have you know I've been STANDING on your ball for the last five minutes!''
7!. A man who was having heart trouble went to the doctor to see what his options were!. Naturally, the doctor recommended a heart transplant!. The man reluctantly agreed, and asked if there were any hearts immediately available, considering that money was no object!.
"I do have three hearts," said the doctor!. "The first is from an 18-year old kid, non-smoker, athletic, swimmer, with a great diet!. He hit his head on the swimming pool and died!. It's $100,000!. The second is from a marathon runner, 25 years old, great condition, very strong!. He got hit by a bus!. It's $150,000!. The third is from a heavy drinker, cigar smoker, steak lover!. It's $500,000!."
"Hey, why is that heart so expensive!? He lived a terrible life!"
"Yes, but it's from a laywer!. It's never been used!."
8!. Q: Hear about the terrorist that hijacked a 747 full of lawyers!?
A: He threatened to release one every hour if his demands weren't met
9!. Q: What do you call an honest lawyer!?
A: An oxymoron!.
10!. Q: What do you call one lawyer thrown off a bridge into a river!?
A: Pollution!.
Q: What do you call all the lawyers thrown off a bridge!?
A: Solution!.Www@Enter-QA@Com
What do you give a person with absolutely no musical talent!?
Drumsticks
Why did the chicken cross the road!?
To get to the other side
Www@Enter-QA@Com
What do you get when you cross a bear with a skunk!?
Winnih The POOH!Www@Enter-QA@Com
Winnih The POOH!Www@Enter-QA@Com
What five-letter word becomes shorter when you add two letters to it!?
SHORTWww@Enter-QA@Com
SHORTWww@Enter-QA@Com