Do you have any jokes?!
Question: Do you have any jokes!?
work man calls in sick
boss answers phone
boss: hello!.
work man:hey boss i feel sick,im taking the day off
boss sez to the work man:ill let you in with a secret,,
everytime i feel sick,i always go strait home and shag ma wife
the next day work man turns up to work,
he walks into the office without a sign of being sick so the boss says to him:you looking fine today,i guess my secret works!?
work man replies:yes it did,and you've got a beatiful home!.lolWww@Enter-QA@Com
boss answers phone
boss: hello!.
work man:hey boss i feel sick,im taking the day off
boss sez to the work man:ill let you in with a secret,,
everytime i feel sick,i always go strait home and shag ma wife
the next day work man turns up to work,
he walks into the office without a sign of being sick so the boss says to him:you looking fine today,i guess my secret works!?
work man replies:yes it did,and you've got a beatiful home!.lolWww@Enter-QA@Com
Answers:
i've got 2, sunshine!.!.!.there u go
1!. The pretty young Miss was having a tooth pulled and the dentist
gave her the usual "This won't hurt a bit" routine before bending
over her with a drill in his hand!. He immediately drew back in
complete alarm!.
"Miss," he said in a barely audible whisper, "You have hold of my
privates!"
"Yes, doc, I know," she smiled, "and we aren't going to hurt each
other, are we!?"
2!.An elderly couple is vacationing in the West!. Sam always wanted a
pair of authentic cowboy boots!. Seeing some on sale one day, he
buys them, wears them home, walking proudly!. He walks into their
room and says to his wife, "Notice anything different, Bessie!?"
Bessie looks him over, "Nope!."
"Come on, Bessie, take a good look!.
anything different!?"
Bessie said again "Nope!."
Frustrated, Sam storms off into the bathroom, undresses, and walks
back into the room completely naked except for his boots!. Again,
he asks, a little louder this time, "Notice anything DIFFERENT!?
Helen looks up and says, "Sam, what's different!? It's hanging down today, it was hanging down yesterday, it'll be hanging down again tomorrow!."
Furious, Sam yells, "AND DO YOU KNOW WHY IT'S HANGING DOWN, HELEN!? IT'S HANGING DOWN BECAUSE IT'S LOOKING AT MY NEW BOOTS!"
To which Helen replies, "Shoulda bought a hat, Sam, shoulda bought a hat!."Www@Enter-QA@Com
1!. The pretty young Miss was having a tooth pulled and the dentist
gave her the usual "This won't hurt a bit" routine before bending
over her with a drill in his hand!. He immediately drew back in
complete alarm!.
"Miss," he said in a barely audible whisper, "You have hold of my
privates!"
"Yes, doc, I know," she smiled, "and we aren't going to hurt each
other, are we!?"
2!.An elderly couple is vacationing in the West!. Sam always wanted a
pair of authentic cowboy boots!. Seeing some on sale one day, he
buys them, wears them home, walking proudly!. He walks into their
room and says to his wife, "Notice anything different, Bessie!?"
Bessie looks him over, "Nope!."
"Come on, Bessie, take a good look!.
anything different!?"
Bessie said again "Nope!."
Frustrated, Sam storms off into the bathroom, undresses, and walks
back into the room completely naked except for his boots!. Again,
he asks, a little louder this time, "Notice anything DIFFERENT!?
Helen looks up and says, "Sam, what's different!? It's hanging down today, it was hanging down yesterday, it'll be hanging down again tomorrow!."
Furious, Sam yells, "AND DO YOU KNOW WHY IT'S HANGING DOWN, HELEN!? IT'S HANGING DOWN BECAUSE IT'S LOOKING AT MY NEW BOOTS!"
To which Helen replies, "Shoulda bought a hat, Sam, shoulda bought a hat!."Www@Enter-QA@Com
A kindergarten teacher one day is trying to explain to her class the definition of the word "definitely" to them!.
To make sure the students have a good understanding of the word, she asks them to use it in a sentence!.
The first student raised his hand and said "The sky is definitely blue"!.
The teacher said, "Well, that isnt entirely correct, because sometimes its gray and cloudy"!.
Another student says, "Grass is definitely green!."
The teacher again replies "If grass doesnt get enough water it turns brown, so that isnt really correct either!."
Another student raises his hand and asks the teacher "Do farts have lumps!?"
The teacher looked at him and said "No!.!.!.But that isnt really a question you want to ask in class discussion!."
So the student replies, "Then I definitely crapped my pants!."
Www@Enter-QA@Com
To make sure the students have a good understanding of the word, she asks them to use it in a sentence!.
The first student raised his hand and said "The sky is definitely blue"!.
The teacher said, "Well, that isnt entirely correct, because sometimes its gray and cloudy"!.
Another student says, "Grass is definitely green!."
The teacher again replies "If grass doesnt get enough water it turns brown, so that isnt really correct either!."
Another student raises his hand and asks the teacher "Do farts have lumps!?"
The teacher looked at him and said "No!.!.!.But that isnt really a question you want to ask in class discussion!."
So the student replies, "Then I definitely crapped my pants!."
Www@Enter-QA@Com
How Adam Got Eve -- Priceless
Adam was hanging around the garden of Eden feeling very lonely!.
So, God asked him, 'What's wrong with you!?'
Adam said he didn't have anyone to talk to!.
God said that He was going to make Adam a companion and that it would be a woman!.
He said, 'This pretty lady will gather food for you, she will cook for you, and when you discover clothing, she will wash them for you
She will always agree with every decision you make and she will not nag you, and will always be the first to admit she was wrong when you've had a disagreement!.
She will praise you!
She will bear your children, and never ask you to get up in the middle of the night to take care of them!.
'She will NEVER have a headache and will freely give you love and passion whenever you need it!.'
Adam asked God, 'What will a woman like this cost!?'
'An arm and a leg!.'
Then Adam asked, 'What can I get for a rib !?
Of course the rest is history!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.Www@Enter-QA@Com
Adam was hanging around the garden of Eden feeling very lonely!.
So, God asked him, 'What's wrong with you!?'
Adam said he didn't have anyone to talk to!.
God said that He was going to make Adam a companion and that it would be a woman!.
He said, 'This pretty lady will gather food for you, she will cook for you, and when you discover clothing, she will wash them for you
She will always agree with every decision you make and she will not nag you, and will always be the first to admit she was wrong when you've had a disagreement!.
She will praise you!
She will bear your children, and never ask you to get up in the middle of the night to take care of them!.
'She will NEVER have a headache and will freely give you love and passion whenever you need it!.'
Adam asked God, 'What will a woman like this cost!?'
'An arm and a leg!.'
Then Adam asked, 'What can I get for a rib !?
Of course the rest is history!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.Www@Enter-QA@Com
A professor was giving a lecture on "Involuntary Muscular Contractions" to his first year med students!. Realizing that this was not the most riveting subject, he decided to lighten the mood!. He pointed to a young woman in the front row and asked, "Do you know what your asshole is doing while you're having an orgasm!?"
She replied, "He's probably playing golf with his friends!."
Www@Enter-QA@Com
She replied, "He's probably playing golf with his friends!."
Www@Enter-QA@Com
No!. That's why I am here :)Www@Enter-QA@Com