Who can make me laugh first?!
Question: Who can make me laugh first!?
need a good chuckle, ten points to the first who sets me offWww@Enter-QA@Com
Answers:
this will make you laugh if you haven't been on it before, harry potter puppet pals, take a look you wont be dissapiontedWww@Enter-QA@Com
Aaron was laying down carpet in some woman's home!. As he was finishing, he got a craving for a cigarette!. Aaron looked around and discovered that his cigarettes were missing!. He did, however, notice a bump in the carpet, and figured that he had laid carpet over the pack without noticing it there!. Aaron decided rather than to take up the carpet, he would get a hammer and pound it into the ground so no one would know!.
When he finished that, the owner of the house walked into the room and commented on what a nice job he had done!.
''Aaron, The carpet lookes wonderful!'' she exclaimed!. ''Here are your cigarettes; I found them in the kitchen!. Oh yes, and by the way, have you seen my gerbil!?''
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When he finished that, the owner of the house walked into the room and commented on what a nice job he had done!.
''Aaron, The carpet lookes wonderful!'' she exclaimed!. ''Here are your cigarettes; I found them in the kitchen!. Oh yes, and by the way, have you seen my gerbil!?''
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WHO IS JACK SCHITT!?
For some time many of us have wondered just who is Jack Schitt!?
We find ourselves at a loss when someone says, 'You don't know Jack
Schitt'! Well, thanks to my genealogy efforts, you can now respond in an
intellectual way!. Jack Schitt is the only son of Awe Schitt!. Awe Schitt, the fertilizer
magnate, who married O!. Schitt, the owner of Needeep N!. Schitt, Inc!. They had one son, Jack!. In turn, Jack Schitt married Noe Schitt!. The deeply religious couple produced
six children: Holie Schitt, Gi va Schitt, Fulla Schitt, Bull Schitt, and the twins Deep Schitt and Dip Schitt!.Against her parents' objections, Deep Schitt married Dumb Schitt, a high school dropout!. After being married 15 years, Jack and Noe Schitt divorced!. Noe
Schitt later married Ted Sherlock, and because her kids were living with them, she wanted to keep her previous name!. She was then known as Noe Schitt Sherlock!.
Meanwhile, Dip Schitt married Loda Schitt, and they produced a son with a
rather nervous disposition named Chicken Schitt!. Two of the other six children,
Fulla Schitt and Giva Schitt, were inseparable throughout childhood and subsequently married the Happens brothers in a dual ceremony!. The wedding announcement in the newspaper announced the Schitt-Happens nuptials!. The Schitt-Happens children were Dawg, Byrd, and Horse!. Bull Schitt, the prodigal son, left home to tour the world!. He came home with his Italian wife; Piza Schitt
By Crock O Schit
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For some time many of us have wondered just who is Jack Schitt!?
We find ourselves at a loss when someone says, 'You don't know Jack
Schitt'! Well, thanks to my genealogy efforts, you can now respond in an
intellectual way!. Jack Schitt is the only son of Awe Schitt!. Awe Schitt, the fertilizer
magnate, who married O!. Schitt, the owner of Needeep N!. Schitt, Inc!. They had one son, Jack!. In turn, Jack Schitt married Noe Schitt!. The deeply religious couple produced
six children: Holie Schitt, Gi va Schitt, Fulla Schitt, Bull Schitt, and the twins Deep Schitt and Dip Schitt!.Against her parents' objections, Deep Schitt married Dumb Schitt, a high school dropout!. After being married 15 years, Jack and Noe Schitt divorced!. Noe
Schitt later married Ted Sherlock, and because her kids were living with them, she wanted to keep her previous name!. She was then known as Noe Schitt Sherlock!.
Meanwhile, Dip Schitt married Loda Schitt, and they produced a son with a
rather nervous disposition named Chicken Schitt!. Two of the other six children,
Fulla Schitt and Giva Schitt, were inseparable throughout childhood and subsequently married the Happens brothers in a dual ceremony!. The wedding announcement in the newspaper announced the Schitt-Happens nuptials!. The Schitt-Happens children were Dawg, Byrd, and Horse!. Bull Schitt, the prodigal son, left home to tour the world!. He came home with his Italian wife; Piza Schitt
By Crock O Schit
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A woman was leaving a 7-11 with her morning coffee when she noticed a most unusual funeral procession approaching the nearby cemetery!. A long black hearse was followed by a second long black hearse about 50 feet behind!. Behind the second hearse was a solitary woman walking a pit bull on a leash!. Behind her were 200 women walking single file!. The woman couldn't stand the curiosity!. She respectfully approached the woman walking the dog and said, "I am so sorry for your loss, and I know now is a bad time to disturb you, but I've never seen a funeral like this!. Whose funeral is it!?"
The woman replied, "Well, that first hearse is for my husband!."
"What happened to him!?"
The woman replied, "My dog attacked and killed him!."
She inquired further, "Well, who is in the second hearse!?"
The woman answered, "My mother-in-law!. She was trying to help my husband when the dog turned on her!."
A poignant and thoughtful moment of silence passed between the two women!. "Can I borrow the dog!?"
"Get in line!"
if u don't like this one then, try this 1,
The FBI had an opening for an assassin!. After all the background checks, interviews and testing were done, there were 3 finalists; two men and a woman!.
For the final test, the FBI agents took one of the men to a large metal door and handed him a gun!. 'We must know that you will follow your instructions no matter what the circumstances!. Inside the room you will find your wife sitting in a chair!.
'Kill her!!' The man said, 'You can't be serious!. I could never shoot my wife!.' The agent said, 'Then you're not the right man for this job!. Take your wife and go home!.'
The second man was given the same instructions!. He took the gun and went into the room!. All was quiet for about 5 minutes!. The man came out with tears in his eyes, 'I tried, but I can't kill my wife!.' The agent said, 'You don't have what it takes!. Take your wife home!.'
Finally, it was the woman's turn!. She was given the same instructions, to kill her husband!. She took the gun and went into the room!. Shots were heard, one after another!. They heard screaming,
crashing, banging on the walls!. After a few minutes, all was quiet!. The door opened slowly and there stood the woman, wiping the sweat from her brow!.
'This gun is loaded with blanks' she said!. 'I had to beat him to death with the chair!.'
MORAL: Women are crazy!. Don't mess with them
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The woman replied, "Well, that first hearse is for my husband!."
"What happened to him!?"
The woman replied, "My dog attacked and killed him!."
She inquired further, "Well, who is in the second hearse!?"
The woman answered, "My mother-in-law!. She was trying to help my husband when the dog turned on her!."
A poignant and thoughtful moment of silence passed between the two women!. "Can I borrow the dog!?"
"Get in line!"
if u don't like this one then, try this 1,
The FBI had an opening for an assassin!. After all the background checks, interviews and testing were done, there were 3 finalists; two men and a woman!.
For the final test, the FBI agents took one of the men to a large metal door and handed him a gun!. 'We must know that you will follow your instructions no matter what the circumstances!. Inside the room you will find your wife sitting in a chair!.
'Kill her!!' The man said, 'You can't be serious!. I could never shoot my wife!.' The agent said, 'Then you're not the right man for this job!. Take your wife and go home!.'
The second man was given the same instructions!. He took the gun and went into the room!. All was quiet for about 5 minutes!. The man came out with tears in his eyes, 'I tried, but I can't kill my wife!.' The agent said, 'You don't have what it takes!. Take your wife home!.'
Finally, it was the woman's turn!. She was given the same instructions, to kill her husband!. She took the gun and went into the room!. Shots were heard, one after another!. They heard screaming,
crashing, banging on the walls!. After a few minutes, all was quiet!. The door opened slowly and there stood the woman, wiping the sweat from her brow!.
'This gun is loaded with blanks' she said!. 'I had to beat him to death with the chair!.'
MORAL: Women are crazy!. Don't mess with them
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i hope u like it!.!.!.!.!.!.!.
Three women die together in an accident and go to heaven!. When they get there, St!. Peter says, "We only have one rule here in heaven!.!.!.don't step on the ducks!."
So they enter heaven, and sure enough, there are ducks all over the place!. It is almost impossible not to step on a duck, and although they try their best to avoid them, the first woman accidentally steps on one!.
Along comes St!. Peter with the ugliest man she ever saw!. St!. Peter chains them together and says "Your punishment for stepping on a duck is to spend eternity chained to this ugly man!"
The next day, the second woman steps accidentally on a duck, and along comes St!. Peter, who doesn't miss a thing, and with him is another extremely ugly man!. He chains them together with the same admonishment as for the first woman!.
The third woman has observed all this and, not wanting to be chained for all eternity to an ugly man, is very, VERY careful where she steps!.
She manages to go months without stepping on any ducks, but one day St!. Peter comes up to her with the most handsome man she has ever laid eyes on!. Very tall, long eyelashes, muscular, and thin!.
St!. Peter chains them together without saying a word!. The woman remarks, "I wonder what I did to deserve being chained to you for all of eternity!?"
The guy says, "I don't know about you, but I stepped on a duck!"
one more for u !.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.
A blonde and a lawyer are seated next to each other on a flight from LA to NY!. The lawyer asks if she would like to play a fun game!? The blonde, tired, just wants to take a nap, politely declines and rolls over to the window to catch a few winks!. The lawyer persists and explains that the game is easy and a lot of fun!. He explains, "I ask you a question, and if you don't know the answer, you pay me $5!.00, and vise versa!."
Again, she declines and tries to get some sleep!.
The lawyer, now agitated, says, "Okay, if you don't know the answer you pay me $5!.00, and if I don't know the answer, I will pay you $500!.00!."
This catches the blonde's attention and, figuring there will be no end to this torment unless she plays, agrees to the game!.
The lawyer asks the first question!. "What's the distance from the earth to the moon!?"
The blonde doesn't say a word, reaches into her purse, pulls out a $5!.00 bill and hands it to the lawyer!. "Okay," says the lawyer, "your turn"!.
She asks the lawyer, "What goes up a hill with three legs and comes down with four legs!?"
The lawyer, puzzled, takes out his laptop computer and searches all his references, no answer!. He taps into the air phone with his modem and searches the net and the library of congress, no answer!. Frustrated, he sends e-mail to all his friends and coworkers, to no avail!. After an hour, he wakes the blonde, and hands her $500!.00!.
The blonde says, "Thank you," and turns back to get some more sleep!.
The lawyer, who is more than a little miffed, wakes the blonde and asks, "Well, what's the answer!?"
Without a word, the blonde reaches into her purse, hands the lawyer $5!.00, and goes back to sleep!.
a bit more for u!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.
A man was having a cigarette which was not burnt!. His friend asks him why was he having such a cigarette so the man replies that it is a CNG cigarette!.
--------------------------------------!.!.!.
Before judging a person put yourself in his shoes and walk for a mile!. Now PARTYYYYYY!. The shoes are yours as the owner is 1 mile behind!.
--------------------------------------!.!.!.
A man made a call to airport and asks "how long is the journey from Mumbai to America!?"
The receptionist " 1 second sir "
The man cuts off and says " Have drunken in the day"
--------------------------------------!.!.!.
1 truck was taking another truck by tying a rope!. A man sees it and laughs and says "To take 1 rope two trucks are going!."
--------------------------------------!.!.!.
Www@Enter-QA@Com
Three women die together in an accident and go to heaven!. When they get there, St!. Peter says, "We only have one rule here in heaven!.!.!.don't step on the ducks!."
So they enter heaven, and sure enough, there are ducks all over the place!. It is almost impossible not to step on a duck, and although they try their best to avoid them, the first woman accidentally steps on one!.
Along comes St!. Peter with the ugliest man she ever saw!. St!. Peter chains them together and says "Your punishment for stepping on a duck is to spend eternity chained to this ugly man!"
The next day, the second woman steps accidentally on a duck, and along comes St!. Peter, who doesn't miss a thing, and with him is another extremely ugly man!. He chains them together with the same admonishment as for the first woman!.
The third woman has observed all this and, not wanting to be chained for all eternity to an ugly man, is very, VERY careful where she steps!.
She manages to go months without stepping on any ducks, but one day St!. Peter comes up to her with the most handsome man she has ever laid eyes on!. Very tall, long eyelashes, muscular, and thin!.
St!. Peter chains them together without saying a word!. The woman remarks, "I wonder what I did to deserve being chained to you for all of eternity!?"
The guy says, "I don't know about you, but I stepped on a duck!"
one more for u !.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.
A blonde and a lawyer are seated next to each other on a flight from LA to NY!. The lawyer asks if she would like to play a fun game!? The blonde, tired, just wants to take a nap, politely declines and rolls over to the window to catch a few winks!. The lawyer persists and explains that the game is easy and a lot of fun!. He explains, "I ask you a question, and if you don't know the answer, you pay me $5!.00, and vise versa!."
Again, she declines and tries to get some sleep!.
The lawyer, now agitated, says, "Okay, if you don't know the answer you pay me $5!.00, and if I don't know the answer, I will pay you $500!.00!."
This catches the blonde's attention and, figuring there will be no end to this torment unless she plays, agrees to the game!.
The lawyer asks the first question!. "What's the distance from the earth to the moon!?"
The blonde doesn't say a word, reaches into her purse, pulls out a $5!.00 bill and hands it to the lawyer!. "Okay," says the lawyer, "your turn"!.
She asks the lawyer, "What goes up a hill with three legs and comes down with four legs!?"
The lawyer, puzzled, takes out his laptop computer and searches all his references, no answer!. He taps into the air phone with his modem and searches the net and the library of congress, no answer!. Frustrated, he sends e-mail to all his friends and coworkers, to no avail!. After an hour, he wakes the blonde, and hands her $500!.00!.
The blonde says, "Thank you," and turns back to get some more sleep!.
The lawyer, who is more than a little miffed, wakes the blonde and asks, "Well, what's the answer!?"
Without a word, the blonde reaches into her purse, hands the lawyer $5!.00, and goes back to sleep!.
a bit more for u!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.
A man was having a cigarette which was not burnt!. His friend asks him why was he having such a cigarette so the man replies that it is a CNG cigarette!.
--------------------------------------!.!.!.
Before judging a person put yourself in his shoes and walk for a mile!. Now PARTYYYYYY!. The shoes are yours as the owner is 1 mile behind!.
--------------------------------------!.!.!.
A man made a call to airport and asks "how long is the journey from Mumbai to America!?"
The receptionist " 1 second sir "
The man cuts off and says " Have drunken in the day"
--------------------------------------!.!.!.
1 truck was taking another truck by tying a rope!. A man sees it and laughs and says "To take 1 rope two trucks are going!."
--------------------------------------!.!.!.
Www@Enter-QA@Com
Youtube:
http://www!.youtube!.com/watch!?v=C41hr-84w!.!.!.
http://www!.youtube!.com/watch!?v=-mIVB6Lqh!.!.!.
(watch the whole Allen and Craig series they are hilarious!!!!)
Dumb Blonde jokes:
http://www!.blonde-jokes!.co!.uk/top-10-dum!.!.!.
Just funny:
http://gorillamask!.net/gm_media!.php!?show!.!.!.
http://www!.i-am-bored!.com/bored_link!.cfm!.!.!.
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http://www!.youtube!.com/watch!?v=C41hr-84w!.!.!.
http://www!.youtube!.com/watch!?v=-mIVB6Lqh!.!.!.
(watch the whole Allen and Craig series they are hilarious!!!!)
Dumb Blonde jokes:
http://www!.blonde-jokes!.co!.uk/top-10-dum!.!.!.
Just funny:
http://gorillamask!.net/gm_media!.php!?show!.!.!.
http://www!.i-am-bored!.com/bored_link!.cfm!.!.!.
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Hmm, dunno!. Try the links bellow, they should amuse you for a while ^^
http://www!.youtube!.com/watch!?v=EJJL5dxgV!.!.!.
http://www!.youtube!.com/watch!?v=YP0bc89C6!.!.!.
http://www!.youtube!.com/watch!?v=iUCDhvbQF!.!.!.
http://www!.youtube!.com/watch!?v=gHnYjJHrx!.!.!.
http://www!.youtube!.com/watch!?v=KCLZy32Ym!.!.!.
http://www!.youtube!.com/watch!?v=lj3iNxZ8D!.!.!.
http://www!.youtube!.com/watch!?v=5bCaxcio6!.!.!.
http://www!.youtube!.com/watch!?v=HHXbvzlVv!.!.!.
http://www!.youtube!.com/watch!?v=tN3iNxr2b!.!.!.
http://www!.youtube!.com/watch!?v=7g0AJPqKy!.!.!.
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http://www!.youtube!.com/watch!?v=EJJL5dxgV!.!.!.
http://www!.youtube!.com/watch!?v=YP0bc89C6!.!.!.
http://www!.youtube!.com/watch!?v=iUCDhvbQF!.!.!.
http://www!.youtube!.com/watch!?v=gHnYjJHrx!.!.!.
http://www!.youtube!.com/watch!?v=KCLZy32Ym!.!.!.
http://www!.youtube!.com/watch!?v=lj3iNxZ8D!.!.!.
http://www!.youtube!.com/watch!?v=5bCaxcio6!.!.!.
http://www!.youtube!.com/watch!?v=HHXbvzlVv!.!.!.
http://www!.youtube!.com/watch!?v=tN3iNxr2b!.!.!.
http://www!.youtube!.com/watch!?v=7g0AJPqKy!.!.!.
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Watch, the funniest 5 seconds on Youtube!.
http://www!.youtube!.com/watch!?v=y8Kyi0WNg!.!.!.Www@Enter-QA@Com
http://www!.youtube!.com/watch!?v=y8Kyi0WNg!.!.!.Www@Enter-QA@Com
Disabled toilets!.
Ironically, the only toilets big enough to run around in!.Www@Enter-QA@Com
I don't mean when i say it yo momma so fat when she told me her Weight in stones i fought it was her phone numberWww@Enter-QA@Com
LOOK B-LOWWww@Enter-QA@Com
Bet britart can!.Www@Enter-QA@Com
What's white and blue and sits in a tree!?
A fridge wearing jeans :)Www@Enter-QA@Com
A fridge wearing jeans :)Www@Enter-QA@Com